Day 18 to who knows what

Today my dearest friend told me her mother passed away. I can so hear all the pain she’s going through dealing with family members and taking care of the nasty details of funeral homes, services, flowers, even obituary entries. It’s just sad. Her mother was a wonderful thinking woman, nurse who ended up with Alzheimer’s. My grandmother and her mom were diagnosed about the same time 4 years ago so it was really nice to have someone to discuss the details with and the behaviors and how to deal with them. My grandmother died 2 years ago, and was about 10 years older than her mom. Sad they both had to go with such a disease.

I’m slightly better today, but really still not well spiritually. I’m angry most of the day or catatonic. My dear friend tells me that I’m angry and snappy because I’m sick. I don’t know. My Sweetie and I got into another fight because he wanted details of my friend’s mom and I don’t want to discuss details when I’m dealing with anything. I don’t want to think at all.

Tomorrow I go to work out and I haven’t lost weight. I’ve been eating sporadically. I gained 3lbs last week, but then I drank quite a lot of pop, which I usually don’t drink anymore. I’m sure I retained water but then I wasn’t exactly stringent on eating just like today. I’ve had salmon, a filet o fish burger, a cheeseburger and pineapple cottage cheese plus a can of pineapple. Tomorrow I have to meet with the counselor and the “nutritionist” too. I haven’t had a good start with this program. I’m so tired all the time. Oh well I just have to get through 3 hours and then back home to work again. Sigh. I know I need to exercise more it’s the only way I may possibly feel better. Goodness. I’ve probably gained 10 lbs. I hate this whole struggle I’m just through.

Posted by ijellorca on March 1, 2005 10:00 PM | DIGG | del.icio.us | furl