Unremarkable

I just wish everyone would leave me alone! I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to “hash it out” at least not with them. Well not with anyone. It’s like every time someone tells me what’s not fair about Inconsistencies of my life it’s like someone ramming a huge sward in my back! I just hate talking about it! I barely can stand writing about it to myself like this. I told my G I want to break up, he said I don’t have to sleep with anyone to break up with him. If I want to break up we can break up. Talking to him annoys me the most because he’s the only phone call I’ll answer. He keeps saying that he doesn’t know what he should do! God like who said he should do anything?

That’s one thing I’ve always found extremely faulty about trying to “comfort” someone! You actually end up putting the person “going through” into the position of having to take care of the “comforting the comfortee!” How sick is that! I just don’t need “what they’re going through watching me” whirling around in my head right now! I don’t ever need it and that’s one thing I hate about people “worrying about me!” I just want to be left alone to, do absolutely nothing. I’m thinking that I may even need to find the dogs another home before the summer’s out if I don’t get some useless job that can sustain this apartment. I’ve signed the lease for a year, but don’t know when or if I’m getting paid again.

To switch to unemployment I have to have some form from the lady I’ve just found out is on vacation till next week. Oh well.

To think I used to think this world didn’t deserve me. The sad truth is I don’t deserve the world I guess.

When you find out you’re the most unremarkable person in the world. What could ever motivate you?

Posted by ijellorca on May 25, 2005 7:34 PM | DIGG | del.icio.us | furl