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Well I’ve been rather focused on my writing and projects and figuring out the best manner to come up with the cash to continue in the fine style I’m accustomed to! (That’s a big laugh for those in the know! I live much simpler than ever now that the unemployment’s on its last breath.)

Thankfully I’m doing much better with my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I’ve finally come to the conclusion that everyone isn’t out to get me, but realistically the world is a dangerous place!

After the main assault and beating I got on the job back a month before 9/11

It seems at that time of the year something uproarious and tragic happens along the same time even Katrina happened the same time of the year. I’m working on thinking of fall differently. It used to be my favorite time of the year. Still, it’s time for me to make a different reality. Who knows when I get to St. Louis maybe I’ll get pregnant then or have a baby then so I can only think the most precious thoughts about my baby instead of terror and death and pain and inhumanity. Of course at my age having a baby would definitely fit under another health diary heading!!! Maybe I’ll have to relink this to the infertility section for “older” women!! It’s definitely a fantasy of mine to have a baby by the love of my life and carry it to term and experience a healthy joyous pregnancy and labor… hahah yup I realize that’s a pipe dream, but not so much these days as even 10 years ago. All I have to do is fight of menopause, which there’s no guarantee I’m not in the peri-stages just yet anyhow.

I’m still working on consistency with journaling so I hope to make it back much sooner than before. Anyhow, more later I’m sure.

Posted by ijellorca on December 5, 2005 11:12 AM | DIGG | del.icio.us | furl