Triumph, Tribute, Tears

Triumph-Last night I felt extremely hungry starting at about 10:30. I was busy writing but I’d finally convinced myself I was going to eat something. Of course there was candy, hello, Halloween! I have ice cream, sherbet, and protein shakes, hot chocolate, yogurt…it all just sounded too sweet. I like to keep cheddar cheese slices so that I can pop in a bit of protein to stave things off, but all I had was shredded cheese and didn’t feel like cooking any veggies. See I have a thing for convenience and if it ain’t ready to go it ain’t gonna work! All night I kept telling myself I should have ordered a pizza or some Chinese food, but didn’t want to have all the extras sitting around today or tomorrow when I wanted to begin a Daniel fast. I still hadn’t decided if I’d start today or tomorrow since today is “ Dia de los Muertos.” Well finally around midnight I decided to get something since I was feeling “urgent” hunger! Looked in the fridge and saw some cut up apple and pear and started munching on it until I figured the meal out. It hit the spot. I was out of the kitchen and shortly after to bed!

I consider that a triumph for an out of control eater and obese woman that’s for sure! This morning my mouth is dry and I’ve got my trusty Snapple bottle with ice-chunked water by my side. I’ve been drinking like crazy, but trying to knock off around 8pm because woo, not much sleep when you’re running to the bathroom all night.

I feel good today. I’ve been doing my affirmations morning, night and I’ll be trying to remember to do them all day. Found a cool site that talked about the “Psychology” of weightloss. It had wonderful information to remember and to think about to help get people on their way to their goals or get out of a rut etc.
http://www.psychologyhelp.com/book.htm It’s something to check out with many snippets of wisdom like: “Ignore your body, suffer the consequences.” If that isn’t me I don’t know what is! Ignoring things is my “Forte!” I’m just a regular Ostrich head burier I am.

Hey anything that helps I say. This morning got up exercised and figured that this I can do at least every morning, speak nothing of how it limbers me up and gives me the energy to dive off into my day. It’s so cold!!! Aargh! I might have to start drinking hot water instead of ice. I used to drink hot water in restaurants instead of tea. It was warm with no after taste. I don’t know why I don’t do it so much now, I guess because I have tea coming out of my ears! With all the tea and water I drink, I can see why it’s so easy to avoid pop most of the time. It’s kind of creepy to think of all those people who drink nothing but coke or mountain dew all day and nothing else. OF course who am I to speak, they’re probably size 3, as apposed to my (OFF THE SIZE CHART COMPLETELY!)

I’m going to celebrate and remember my loved ones today because I think that of all traditions the ones that remember our loved ones that are not physically with us at this time is a good thing, just like we honor Jesus. The person I think of first is my Grandfather. He was my favorite person on my dad’s side of the family. My dad said that he had an alarm in his stomach that went off 3 times of day. I remember him saying, “Look here we better see about getting something to eat” all the time if we were our running around together. My sister said that one time she went to dinner with dad and Grandpa and she said that he ate so fast she thought he might end up eating a couple of his fingers. I loved my Grandpa so much. I asked him one time if he wanted a pop, and he snarled back at me: “That stuff’ll kill you.” I waved my can of pop in front of his face jokingly and said: “It’s good stuff Maynard” like he was going to be missing out. He looked at me and smiled and said: “Is that right Herman?” And that’s what my grandfather called me till the day he died. “Herman” He even sent me letters addressed to Herman. He was a cantankerous old coot and I’d tell him he was an old coot all the time and he’d just laugh maniacally.

So here’s my list of dead loved ones.

Grandpa “Maynard”- Everything!Grandma C - Her elegant feistiness and class
Aunt Belle – Your Forging spirit discrimination bashing will!
Daddy Joe - His quiet strength in suffering and protecting me
Momma R –Who knew she deserved all the finer things, as she was clearly one!
Momma L - Everything, especially her always accepting loving heart
Daddy Henry – For extracting splinters and being as handsome as ever!
Aunty L – Told it like it was, a pint-sized blast of plutonium!
Uncle Buddy – for taking care of me as best as he could and being there
Aunt J- For your elegance, wisdom, beauty, and strength
Aunt M – Your beautiful craziness that courses through my veins!
Uncle Richard – A true Dapper creased pants man with perpetually shined shoes
Uncle Amos – If there were ever a laugh you’d get it with your stories
Aunt Addie B –For your quiet beautiful elegance and wisdom
Uncle Tim –The bellowing giant with the gentlest heart
Aunt Ethel Lee –sweet as sweet can be no apologies ever
Aunt Loula Mae/Uncle Wright - for providing shelter when shelters didn’t exist
Rhiannon – Mom loves you and still cries for your sweet sweet fur
Onyx/Melanos –My baby boys I pray you forgive me for not always being there
Heidi – Your words are in the world you mattered so much to me
Chucky – Thank you for entering my dreams to say goodbye, I so miss you!
Mr. Wineberry – God bless you, I’m glad you’re with your sweetie running heaven!
Mrs. A – Thank you for all you taught me
Michele’s mom – I’ll never forget that smile or the sparkle in your eyes! Never!

Well as I write all this blubbering my eyes out, I guess the best conclusion to get is that I have a lot of help on the other side watching over me. God be with you all and thank you for blessing me by honoring me with your presence in my life period.

150/83 BP 65 pulse - Down -00- Total Lost 017 - 398 till Goal

Posted by ijellorca on November 1, 2006 10:24 AM | DIGG | del.icio.us | furl