June 14, 2004

This was me, three

This was me, three years ago before I had weight loss surgery. I weighed about 300 lbs, give or take a few. I wore a size 28. I had never in my life been able to cross my legs. I avoided stairs at all costs. I had constant back and knee pain. I got winded doing the smallest tasks. I could not see my feet or bend to tie my shoes. I was incontinent. When I laughed hard or sneezed, there was a good chance that I may wet my pants. I was miserable, and had been for about 10 years.

As a child, I heard a sermon about faith. The preacher said that if we had faith the size of a grain of sand that our prayer could move mountains. Every night I went to bed with the faith that the next morning I would wake up thin. It didn't happen, until 2 years ago. I had surgery March 12, 2001. The surgery I chose was not a common one. It's called the Mini Gastric Bypass, and is very controversial. Three and a half years later, I have had no problems. My surgery took 31 minutes. I left the hospital the next morning and went to work the following Monday. My recovery was unremarkable. My weight loss was slow. I lost about 10 lbs a month for 18 months, for a total loss of 175 lbs. My lowest weight was 123 lbs. One day, I woke up thin.

I now weigh about 145 lbs. I struggle every day to lose weight, or to maintain my current weight. Weight loss surgery brought me to a healthy weight. In time, I believe that my intestines have adapted, and my stomach has stretched. My surgery was laporoscopic, so the surgery was done using little cameras, not open. The surgeon could only guestimate how large my pouch was being made. Shortly after surgery I was able to eat large portions. The expected 4 to 6 oz was never the case for me. I could eat a salad and a 10 oz steak with no problem just a few months after surgery. I can easily over eat and gain weight. Right after WLS, if you choose to have an intestinal bypass, sugar is out of the question. It will make you sick. It will give you something called dumping syndrome. I no longer have this problem. I can eat all the sugar I want, every day.

So, I'm a normal woman in her late 20's. Except that I was once morbidly obese. I am happy to have the struggle to lose 10 lbs. When my jeans are a little tight, and I'm being exceptionally hard on myself, I remember the size 28's. I no longer have 170 lbs to lose. But I do have to make choices. I have to choose not to eat the candy bar, or the bag of skittles. I have to choose to exercise. I have to choose not to overeat.

So, what kind of diet do I follow? Not a very good one. I work the late shift, so I eat dinner about 11:30 at night, and go to bed about 1. Not the best case scenario, but I do the best I can. During the day, I snack. I eat popcorn, pepporoni, eggs, carrots, and breakfast bars. I'm using this diary as an excuse to start a new diet. As I type, I'm drinking a protein shake. For the next week, I'm going to go on a "protein fast". Many people who are veteran weight loss surgery patients use it to jump start weight loss.

The number one question I get from people who view my photographs at MGB Friends concerns extra skin. Yup, I've got it, about 10 lbs of it. I doesn't bother me that much because it was better than the weight I was carrying around. It doesn't keep me from tying my shoes, or walking up stairs, or crossing my legs, or from exercising. I can hide it in clothes, so it doesn't keep me a prisoner of my own home. When I was fat, I stayed at home. I did my grocery shopping at night. I didn't go into public. The skin is no big deal. Many people who have had surgery the same time as me have already had extensive plastic surgery. I've just begun to look into it. My first appointment is at the end of July. I won't have anything that my insurance won't pay for. Everything else I have will come as I can pay for it.

Posted by Manda on June 14, 2004 06:29 AM