How Much is in my Head?

Sometimes I wonder how much of this is in my head.

I wonder if I'm getting worse. Lately I feel like my bladder is getting smaller.

I also notice more cramps. Not painful ones, I just feel like I can feel everything more lately. Like maybe I can feel the tumors growing.

I know it's because I'm just keenly aware right now. Probably talking myself into these things.

Today or tomorrow I should be getting some results of my pre-op exam. The last test is for HPV (human papilloma virus). I've never had genital warts, but I could harbor this virus, which can cause cervical cancer. If I do have it, the doctor will recommend taking my cervix with the uterus. The reasoning is, it's easier to rebuilt everything and anchor it with one operation instead of coming back later should I develop cancer.

I'm not keen on that scenario, but I'm trying not to worry about it until I'm faced with the decision.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. on July 6, 2004 10:27 AM