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February 21, 2005

Getting Better

Now that the bronchitis is just about gone I'm feeling pretty much normal.

Yesterday I drove up to Ojai to see my mother for lunch and I wore jeans. I know, it seems a little silly to even mention such things, but I wore jeans, knowing full well that I'd be in the car for 90 minutes each way. And it wasn't an issue in the slightest. I can now wear jeans without worrying about my incision site getting irritated.

The coughing has abated enough that my belly is returning nearly to normal, though there's still a little tenderness because I was coughing a lot. The big change I made this year with my bronchitis over last year was that I made special efforts to cough and support my belly and to be aligned properly. I blame last year's problem with the torn intercostals with trying to be polite and turn away from people when I coughed. This time I just turn around completely instead of contorting my chest.

Today was a holiday from work and I'm grateful for that. I spent the day lazily making efforts to clean up the spare room in the house which is supposed to be my office. I filed about a year and a half's worth of bank statements. That's a huge accomplishment right there. I even made a folder for my hysterectomy. Not that there's much in there, just the paperwork from the hospital and my HR department's forms.

Tomorrow it's back to work.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 10:12 PM | Comments (0)

February 16, 2005

Bronchitis

I've come across a nasty disease. I haven't the foggiest what it is but I've got it.

It seems to be going around, several friends I saw last weekend socially have the same malady at the moment.

It started on Friday night with a sore throat. So I had some tea and I went to bed early.

I woke up in the morning with a tight chest, full of fluid. Sometimes this is caused by a bad allergy attack in the night that gives me asthma. So I carried on and went off on my social engagements. That evening I got a few little twinges that it was not a mere asthma attack. My lungs did not clear and a flush came over me several times.

I took my temperature, but it was normal, but I went to bed anyway around eleven.

The next morning it was obvious I was sick. The chest congestion was now productive and bright orange, foul tasting and giving me a frightful wheeze. So I got up early, showered and called my doctor's office. I'm fortunate to have a primary care doctor who has weekend hours. They're probably not the best doctors in the world but they see lots of patients and are reasonable and of course so accommodating to fit me in when I'm sick.

So, I went in when they opened and they confirmed that I had a fever (only 100 at the time) and some light congestion in my upper airways.

A bunch of prescriptions - zithromax for the lungs (though no confirmation that it is bacterial but with people with compromised lungs, we weren't willing to take a chance). Some advair for my lungs to ease the irritation and swelling. Some allergy pills. Some cough suppresant (phenergan).

The fever seemed to peak on Tuesday early morning at 102.4. I've been alternating between ibuprofen and tylenol for the fever and aches.

I have no idea what this is. It started in the lungs, which is quite unlike a cold. Maybe it's a flu, so the antibiotics will only keep me from getting worse, and the rest of it is up to my own system.

This, of course, has nothing to do with my hysterectomy. I get bronchitis usually every other year, but I did have it last year around this time. The only bearing it has on my recovery is that I've been coughing so hard and working my abdominal muscles so much that my belly is swollen and tender again. But I hardly notice that pain on top of the way the fever makes my hands arthritic and my back ache with every inhale.

I've been off work the whole week so far. I'm hoping to feel well enough to go in tomorrow. I have relatives coming to visit tomorrow for the long weekend, so I must get myself feeling better.

For now I'm bound to couch and bed, drinking a gallon of water a day.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 12:18 PM | Comments (0)

February 02, 2005

Six Months

Tomorrow marks six months since my surgery.

Things that are good:

I can lay on my stomach without feeling pressure on my bladder.

I can sleep through the night without getting up to go to the bathroom

I can go more than three hours without going to the bathroom

My cyclical IBS has gone away completely

My energy has returned

My weight has not changed

Things that are not as good:

I still get cyclical acne (I had that before)

I still bleed (though certainly not nearly as much as I used to)

I now need lubrication for sex

What really makes me feel like I'm through my recovery period is that I've had lots more energy. It's not like I bounce out of bed in the morning (I've never felt like that, I'm not a morning person), but these past two weeks have been really jam-packed and I made it through without feeling exhuasted and cranky. That's a huge step forward for me. Between the work pressures (I've been working from home at night for the past few weeks), my dog has been sick and back and forth to the vet, my weekend volunteer work, and just plain no chance to sleep in or go to bed early I've managed to keep a handle on everything.

Now things, I think, are going to calm down. And I'll get back to my regular schedule. Very cool.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 07:13 PM | Comments (0)

January 29, 2005

Belly Pains

I made the mistake of picking up the dog today.

It had to be done. We were at the vet and she would not go into the waiting room. I couldn't just stand there out on the street yanking on her leash. So I picked her up and carried her in.

She's not a big dog, but she sure as heck doesn't like to be carried.

So I'm paying for it a bit this afternoon.

I've made the decision not to try to do the Los Angeles Marathon, which is in a scant four weeks from tomorrow. I haven't started training at all and it would just be a huge mistake if I did.

I'm setting my sights on the next big one in the area and I'm considering doing the San Diego Rock & Roll Marathon. I have no idea if it's a good idea, traveling all that way to get really tired, but it's in June and it's good to have goals.

In other news, well, days have gone by that I haven't really thought about my hysterectomy. I think that's a good thing. I don't know if it means that I should end this diary, or just make a point to update on a weekly basis.

I'm still doing some reading, I get news updates through a google thing about ovarian cancer, fibroids and hysterectomy. There have been some interesting developments. Like one study that said that fibroids on stalks could be treated with UFE. I know that some women are told that it might not be effective, but someone's finally done a study on it.

Other news is that they're still working on blood tests to detect ovarian cancer, which is good news for all women, not just those with hysterectomies.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 05:03 PM | Comments (0)

January 24, 2005

Weekend Challenges

My belly still swells but I've been taking less ibuprofen for it. I read a report about a study that found that long-term use of ibuprofen causes stomach and intestinal damage and I'm a little worried about that. So I've scaled back my use.

So, maybe every other day I have two in the evening.

The belly is big, but I fit into my regular clothes. In the evening after work I do often change into sweats, but mostly because I've always found them more comfortable.

This weekend my husband and I went out for a little beach bluff hiking. Deep, soft sand is a bit of a challenge and I'll admit that my belly hurt towards the evening. But I don't mind at all because it was a fabulous afternoon and I really wanted to go out to the beach.

Also, here's a little bit about sex.

First of all, I was always the kind of woman who was very wet when excited. I've never had a problem with enough lubrication in my life. And here's what's weird. In the first few months of recovery I didn't have a problem either. But slowly my personal moisture has gotten less and less.

Part of me is rather pleased with this. Let's face it, a little necking with the hubby in the kitchen or on the couch and I'd need fresh panties. That's not an issue any longer. I still get excited, but the reaction there is no longer an over-reaction.

Of course I'm worried that this means that I'm drying up completely. I don't think it's hormones, because my hormones are working in every other sense. I get all the symptoms I used to get for my cycles except for the heavy bleeding part.

Ovulation: heightened sense of smell, cervical mucous, general increase in energy and good skin tone.

PMS: cystic acne behind the ears, breakouts on the chin and neck, tender breasts, chocolate cravings.

Period: spotting/bleeding, lower back ache, stiff fingers (arthritis?).

I've been charting it all and it's just as it was before the hysterectomy so I can't imagine that it's a hormonal thing. My guess is more that it's a blood supply thing or maybe a nerve damage thing.

Mind you, I don't by any means call this a sexual dysfunction. I'm guessing this may also be a natural progression, part of getting older. Also, I was treated for a vaginal infection (bacterial and yeast) and since that coincides with my decrease in vaginal moisture, I wonder if that has anything to do with it. My orgasms are virtually identical to what they were like before surgery. I no longer have uterine contractions, and I no longer have that bulging feeling of the fibroids as the uterus contracted and pushed it all into my bladder.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 11:01 AM | Comments (0)

January 19, 2005

Svelt

I bought some new jeans a couple of weeks ago and I've started wearing them to work.

Let me say, I've been looking gooood lately. Finally my figure has returned to where it was about five years ago.

At the start of the new year I've tried to cut back on my boredom snacking and of course I'm amping up my activity and I'm feeling like this is my body again.

The incision site still itches towards the end of the day and I still have some swelling towards the end of the day, but with the small amount of weight gone, it doesn't bother me much at all.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 08:43 PM | Comments (0)

January 11, 2005

Change in Food Preferences

I don't know if this is true or not, but some women report changes in food preferences after a hysterectomy.

I still enjoy everything, but at the moment I'm noticing that I prefer milk chocolate to dark chocolate.

I can't figure why - since all my life I've been a dark chocolate nut.

It seems to be Hershey kisses that I crave at the moment. But maybe it's just the stress or work or the fact that they're everywhere from Christmas to Valentine's day or maybe I'm just going through a phase.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 04:13 PM | Comments (0)

December 22, 2004

Food Poisoning

Last Thursday we had our department holiday lunch. We went out to a local restaurant that's known for their fried chicken, but I thought that would be a heavy and salty meal for me, so I opted for the seared tuna.

Oh, that was a bad idea.

It came. I ate it. It wasn't fabulous, but I just figured it was because I was ordering a fish dish in a chicken restaurant.

Later that night, just before bed my tummy started to rumbling and I had a touch of diarrhea before turning in. That's not a big deal for me, especially when eating around the holidays - I'm lactose intolerant, yet I still eat/drink the stuff and had a little cup of egg nog at a party that night. So I thought nothing of it.

The next morning it was no longer a touch of diarrhea. It was watery diarrhea. No chills, no aches, no gas, just pure liquid. So, I showered and took a half of a regular immodium pill to calm me down (because I figured that was no good, I would get dehydrated putting out that much fluid). I drank about a quart of water and headed off to the office. I was there for about a half an hour, I drank a cup of green tea and still had the diarrhea and started feeling really weak. So I headed home.

By the time I got home, I was in a bad way. A little temperature (no chills) and I curled up in bed, figuring that I had to rehydrate so I just kept drinking water.

Then, a little after noon I threw up.

I'd not thrown up in nearly thirteen years. I'm not a vomiter - never have been and I'm quite pleased with that (my mother throws up at the drop of a hat - sun too bright, she throws up, bad smell, she throws up, graphic story on the news, she throws up).

I spent the afternoon throwing up, then trying desperately to put fluids back into my system. And then within the hour I'd throw it all up again. I tried a little pepto, but that came up pretty quick.

I figured I just had to tough it out, though my husband paged the doctor who felt if I threw up one more time that I should head to the emergency room for some IV fluids.

So by 7PM I was done with that and was able to not only get down about a quart of fluids (water & gatorade), I also took two tylenol which brought down my 101.5 fever.

Gah! That was unpleasant.

There was some dispute between me and my husband during the weekend whether it was food poisoning or stomach flu. As far as I was concerned, it didn't really matter, except that I didn't want to give it to him.

This, of course, has thrown a huge monkey wrench in the holiday plans as the weekend was a complete waste with me down for the count. I managed to go out on Sunday to take care of the things that only I could take care of in preparation for the big trip to see the family.

I'm feeling loads better and am happy to report that the swelly belly is nearly gone (nothin' like dehydration to get rid of it!).

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 07:13 PM | Comments (0)

November 16, 2004

Doctor Report

I went to the doctor today. Three major complaints:

1. The mini-period
2. Pain during/after sex, just a slight, burning/itching feeling in the vagina. Mind you, my husband and I have never, ever had sex before without a condom - it'd been nearly 15 years since I'd had sex without a condom, so who knows if that sort of itching was just me not liking semen or something.
3. Swelling and pain. Yes I'm still swollen and in pain. It's the swelly-belly the hystersister's site talks about. I've got it. It's huge. I didn't even go to work yesterday because it was too big to fit into clothes. About 5 pounds of extra fluid in my abdomen. And think about this, I'm not holding it in my tissues like you do when you get the pre-menstrual bloat - it's all in my abdomen, and it's damn uncomfortable.

Anway the answers.

1. Mini-period - she could try to cauterize it if I really, really want to. I said no. We'd give it a year or so and then see how I feel about it. It could stop. It could get lighter (it could also get heavier).

2. I have an infection. A little yeast, a little bacteria. She said it's all pretty much expected after a hysterectomy and the huge doses of antibiotics they put me on. So, a little metrogel and a little diflucan and I'll be right as rain by the end of the weekend.

3. Take it easy. I'm doing too much. She said take it easy, no more marathon training for a month. If I'm still swollen she'll send me for some imaging. But as far as she could tell my ovaries had no palpable cysts and everything else seemed normal. I'm just walking and lifting and climbing too much. 'Nuff said. I'm back on the couch for a while and no evening activities. I'm skipping my class today.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 09:12 PM | Comments (0)

November 12, 2004

Stop Kicking Me in the Belly

Oh, I don't feel well.

For about a week my belly has been hurting, but more the past few days.

I'm doing too much, I know it, but I can't slow down. I suppose I'm waiting for the doctor's appointment on Tuesday to make me slow down. But at the moment, I'm not going to.

My belly is tender, mostly between the belly button and the incision site. The incision itself feel a little like it's burning. It's not infection (it's completely healed over) but it just feels a little more tender than other spots. Inside, I feel like things are a little zingy or pinchy. Not severe pain, nothing that would make me double over. It's not muscular, it's just kind of vague and pretty constant. My belly is also a little big right now. Not so huge that my pants don't fit at the moment, but big enough that I'll enjoy changing into sweat pants in a few minutes since I just got home from work.

I'm 14 weeks from surgery. I suppose I should be easier on myself. Luckily my husband is such a wonderful dear. He's been doing the dishes lately and really taking care of everything around the house. Somehow we'll muddle through Thanksgiving. We always do!

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 06:46 PM | Comments (0)

November 06, 2004

Bumpy Roads

Today I took a bit a hike down to a local coffee shop. That felt pretty good. Of course coming back was harder, it's always harder because there are five flights of stairs and I was really huffing at the top. I'm guessing that's because I was carrying a heavy bag, not because I'm out of shape.

I took a bit of look at my incision this morning. There is definitely a scar forming at the center of it, a firm white scar which is thicker towards the center. I don't know if this is an early indication of keloid scarring.

I'll give it a closer look tomorrow, I think. Right now it burns a little. I wore jeans today, probably not a good idea for a day when I'm doing a lot of walking.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 09:42 PM | Comments (0)

November 03, 2004

Crampy

I'm a little crampy, a little cranky.

I ovulated early last week, which means I'm premenstrual this week and if I do have the dreaded mini-period, it will arrive on Saturday morning.

My breasts are a bit tender but my skin isn't too bad right now. I have a breakout of the painful cystic acne behind my ears. Thank goodness no one can see it, but it does hurt. I've been using progesterone cream in the morning faithfully this cycle and I'm hoping that my breasts don't hurt any worse then they do now. It's quite bearable at the moment.

The swollen belly has disappated almost completely and I'm wearing my normal clothes. Tights with a seam up the center get a little irritating towards the end of the day, but other than that, the incision looks great. I'll try to photograph it this weekend and post some updates. There's even one little spot on the left side that has no discoloration at all, so that gives me hope that it won't be this huge purple stripe across my pubic bone forever.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 05:21 PM | Comments (0)

October 24, 2004

So Sorry for Dropping Off

I was afraid this would happen. This is how I am. I have transient obsessions where I post a lot and have lots to say.

Now I feel like it's all over. The surgery is well behind me, I feel pretty much normal and I'm back at work. I've moved on to other transient obsessions (I'm taking a class and starting a new writing project).

But here's how things are going. First, I think that I'm not completely healed and there are still some reprecussions going on. About a week ago I had a really intense emotional episode. These are not like me, but it was one of those things where I was just very upset over nothing. For about three days. I could intellectualize that what I was upset about wasn't real, but I was still crying for no reason and was rather testy.

As I expected, it eased after a few days and I feel perfectly normal now. The episode doesn't fit in anywhere that makes sense on my homone cycle. It was after my "period" but before my ovulation - a kind of nowhere land. I suspect it was more about a bit of trauma being healed than a regular thing. At least that's what I hope.

My exercise is going well, I'm going to try to do more walking today. I walked last week too, at an even fast clip. I've been having a lot of meetings at work, which means walking to other buildings, which is also good for me.

My weight is back to normal and my swelling is going away. Sometimes in the evening my belly is a little bigger, but I'm back to my old clothes. I've even worn jeans the past two days without much problem.

I'll keep coming back here and updating though. I worry that my ovaries won't continue working or that they're not working at the desired levels. I have not menopause symptoms though. The only hormone problem I have right now is acne. I'm trying some progesterone cream applied from ovulation to the time of my period, in hopes of balancing the androgen overabundance. It's only been two months, so I have no idea if it's working or not.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 09:20 AM | Comments (0)

October 06, 2004

Back to the Real World

I guess I'm getting back to my real life.

My recovery was overshadowed this weekend with a bit of a startling health problem with my husband. He came back from his most recent trip with what we thought was a stomach flu. Well, it wouldn't go away so he went to the doctor and they suspected appendicitis.

Some blood tests still didn't rule it out so he went back the next day and they decided it was diverticulitis. So he's on massive doses of antibiotics. He was running a fever for the whole week and horrible night sweats.

But he's a trooper and insisted on going on his latest business trip.

That's not something I would do.

Other than that, I'm feeling good. The belly is still big at the end of the day. I'm pre-menstrual (sorry, post-ovulatory), so my breasts are a little sore and my chin, neck and chest are breaking out.

I need to start working out more and of course eat a little better. It'll be easier when my husband gets back from his trip.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 07:05 PM | Comments (0)

October 01, 2004

First Full Week

This marked my first full week back at the office.

Granted, it was only part time.

But I did have to get up and get myself there on time!

My energy level was actually pretty good. My only concern is my big belly at this point and I'm starting to worry that some of it is weight that I'm actually gaining. I want to start working out but of course I'm worried if I do I'll just overdo it and make the belly worse.

I think I need to just do it and stop babying myself. I'm not going to get strong again if I just keep waiting to feel more energenic. We all know that's not the way it works.

Okay, so either tomorrow or Sunday I'm going to get on the treadmill and walk two miles (or maybe put the dog on a leash and go two miles, as long as it's not hot).

If you notice that I haven't mentioned this by Sunday night here, feel free to call me on it. After all, I'm more likely to keep a promise to you than to myself.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 07:52 PM | Comments (0)

September 30, 2004

Feeling Sorry for Myself

I'm in a bad mood. I don't think I can blame it on hormones. Probably not even the operation.

First, my husband is sick. I know, I should be wonderful and supportive because he's not feeling well and he took such good care of me in the early weeks of my recovery. But it pisses me off. We've not been intimate for weeks and we haven't had sex since the surgery of course. I've been "cleared" for over a week now, but he's been out of town and now has the flu or something.

I've got stuff to take care of around the house. My neighbor has been bothering me to remove a tree that hangs over her roof, so I'm trying to get quotes on that (why don't people come to quote a job when they say they will?). Insurance woes ... I've been double billed for some stuff, other things have been refused by my insurance company so I'm trying to make calls. But it seems that some of these call centers are in the east or just close early.

I'm fighting with a friend of mine. It's not so much that I'm angry with him, I'm guessing. I'm angry at all those other friends who haven't been there for me, but I feel weird just calling them and telling them that, so I take it out on the people who do call me or email me.

I feel abandoned. Where were my friends when I was recovering? I had one friend that visited me regularly. I had two friends who never called, ever, at all in the past two months. I have two friends who never showed up to help me when my husband went out of town (to help me take out the garbage cans to the street on garbage night, walk the dog, do grocery shopping).

I'm still not up to snuff, maybe I shouldn't have gone back to work last week, but going to the office and then coming home and taking care of my husband is just a little too much for me right now. I'll get through it of course, there are plenty of people in the world that have it far worse than I do, I recognize that. So I'll muddle through and probably just whine a bit here.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 04:43 PM | Comments (0)

September 27, 2004

Still So Huge

It's amazing how huge my belly is now.

It was bugging me on Saturday, so I decided to do nothing at all on Sunday. This consisted of watching many movies on TV (pretty much left it on the Hallmark Channel all day and watched The Parent Trap, Pollyanna, the new Parent Trap). So my feet were up, I didn't go out, I didn't do the laundry. I cooked the simplest of meals for myself and yet I am still huge.

I think yesterday was the largest day. I figure I had an extra four or five pounds of fluid on me. This isn't ordinary bloating fluid like we get during PMS - that shows up everywhere, you know, making my rings tight, maybe my ankles a smidge bigger as well as my waist. But this fluid on the belly is different. It's bloating from the inside out. It's under the abdominal wall instead of in the fat tissues on top of it.

Yesterday I just wore a nightshirt all day. Today, I had to go to work so I wore a loose dress.

My only loose dress.

I'll try to find something to wear for tomorrow. I don't think I can even stand elastic waist pants.

I'm really not worried about looking fat. I know I'm not fat. I'm 135 pounds and 5' 5" and I wear a size eight. I'm pretty much where I should be - maybe a little less fat and some more lean muscle.

My temptation is to eat a little less or exercise a little more, but if I've got this much fluid in my belly, it must mean that things are trying to heal and I should just leave it alone. And drink more fluids. Oh well. The training for the marathon gets put off another week or two.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 05:22 PM | Comments (0)

September 25, 2004

Big Belly

I got to work early this morning to get a good parking space. Unfortunately, I think I'd have to get there at about seven if I wanted a spot on the first floor of the garage.

Getting in early means that I can sneak into my office before anyone else is there.

The first day back was fine but I must admit that sitting for even two hours straight at a desk makes me really uncomfortable. The staff meeting was pushed back from ten to noon, so I didn't end up leaving the office for the day until about 1:30 pm.

It's going to take a little while for me to get back into the swing of things.

I think it probably would have helped if I had coffee too. I'm going to have to allow a little extra time to pick some of that up tomorrow.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 04:12 PM | Comments (1)

September 23, 2004

Working Girl

I got to work early this morning to get a good parking space. Unfortunately, I think I'd have to get there at about seven if I wanted a spot on the first floor of the garage.

Getting in early means that I can sneak into my office before anyone else is there.

The first day back was fine but I must admit that sitting for even two hours straight at a desk makes me really uncomfortable. The staff meeting was pushed back from ten to noon, so I didn't end up leaving the office for the day until about 1:30 pm.

It's going to take a little while for me to get back into the swing of things.

I think it probably would have helped if I had coffee too. I'm going to have to allow a little extra time to pick some of that up tomorrow.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 08:07 PM | Comments (0)

September 22, 2004

Going Back to Work

I feel like a kid going back to school.

Tomorrow I go back to work.

I'm trying to figure out what to wear. My belly is still a bit tender and big towards the afternoon, so I want to pick something that will accomodate it.

I'm looking forward to being productive again.

I'm also looking forward to earning my pay. I've been getting my regular pay for this medical leave, but frankly I feel guilty about it. In one way though, I know I shouldn't. I've been working for the past 20 years or so and have probably taken five sick days in that whole time. I deserve the time to recuperate.

I plan to get to work early, mostly so I can get a good parking spot. I don't like parking on the roof of the garage because my car gets hot. (I know, these are grave problems.)

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 08:22 PM | Comments (0)

September 21, 2004

Cleared!

I had my doctor's appointment bright and early this morning at 8:30.

The doctor looked at my incision (well, it's more of a scar now) and was pleased at how well it's healed and that there are no gaps whatsoever or any spots that are having trouble. She said the nerve sensitivity on my belly will eventually go away. She recommended boxers, I told her I'd been wearing boyshorts, and she seemed pleased to hear a tip she could pass on to her other patients.

Then she gave me my pelvic exam. There was no speculum, I guess she wasn't interested in looking at my cervix (I can't imagine it really looks any different than it used to). She did a manual exam, first putting her fingers inside me and putting the other hand on my belly and finding my ovaries (which were right where she left them). Then she did some more feeling around inside there, she seemed to feel all around my cervix and pleased with that she pronounced me fit and cleared. She said I still had some fluid in my abdomen but that would slowly go away (yay! it's fluid, I might actually get rid of some of this belly!).

She told me I could go back to all my old activities, but I should go slow and try things out and if I have any pain or trouble, I'll need to take it easy. I'm free to have sex. But with my husband out of town, that'll still be a week.

We talked about my bleeding back at the five week mark. She said that she was quite careful to get out all the endometrial tissue she could to keep me from having a mini-period. Of course with only one cycle so far, it's really too early to tell. She said give it a few months and see if I do have the bleeding again. I told her I wasn't worried if I did, I just want to know what to expect (should I keep buying panty liners?). We agreed that a mini-period has its advantages, as it means that my remaining uterine tissue will still put out a little bit of hormones which will give some feedback to the ovaries and I'll have a better sense of my ovaries if I do have a mini-period as I'll be able to tell when I hit menopause.

I also got a copy of my pathology report. She gave me the big news when I was there last, but frankly I forgot most of it instantly and only managed to keep the big info like - 12 fibroids, one polyp and 630 grams.

There's lots of technical stuff on the report, but I was curious what sort of position my fibroids were in. It turns out that most were intramural (within the muscle of the uterine wall) and some were subserosal (on the outside of the uterine wall). The largest one was 11 cm (4 1/3 inches) - but apparently there were four of them in a row (all about the same size) that formed one super long "master fibroid" that was about 19 cm (7 1/2 inches) long and about 8 cm (3 inches) around (that was what my surgeon described as the "Japanese eggplant" they removed).

I can't say I miss them in the slightest. I'm glad there was nothing alarming in the pathology report either.

At the end of the appointment, my doctor said that she'll see me next May for my yearly Pap and exam.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 04:53 PM | Comments (0)

September 20, 2004

Getting Back

I've pretty much made the decision to go back to work later this week. I have my six week checkup tomorrow (even though I'm almost seven weeks post) and will discuss it with my doctor.

I went to the outlet mall on Saturday and if I was able to handle the hour drive and all that walking, I think I'm ready to get back to the office. Granted, after that little trip I was wiped out, but I've got to start somewhere.

I talked to my supervisor and she's all for me coming back part-time for a week or two before the full-time transition.

So, in order to feel better about this, I'm going to be getting up and dressed each morning at the "work" time to get myself back on schedule. That won't be too hard tomorrow as I have a doctor's appointment at 8:30 anyway.

I think what's also go is I'll go back on Thursday, that'll give me two half-days at the office and then two days off to rest and get ready for the next week.

I'll post again tomorrow with the results of my doctor visit.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 08:17 PM | Comments (0)

September 17, 2004

Getting Rid of Things

"Perfection is reached not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I still have twinges that having a hysterectomy was a mistake. I still get feelings that it was a selfish act, a reckless act. My condition was not dire, my symptoms not life threatening. I know that there is a chance that there will be side-effects. That maybe my ovaries won't continue to function admirably for the next fifteen years.

But I also have to remind myself that this is not the first time I've had an operation that was not generally deemed necessary.

When I was a little kid, from about the age of four, I had ear infections. Long, painful bouts of ear infections. And they weren't just ear infections, they were strep throat that got so bad it spread to my ears. It got so bad that my hearing was affected. I had to sit at the front of my classes just to hear what was going on. I was on antibiotics almost constantly from the time I was four until I was eight. To this day, the smell of that penicillin syrup they gave us just sends shivers down my spine.

As a result of these painful throat infections I also didn't eat. I was grossly underweight for my age (20%), shorter than kids my age and had a bad bone break when I was eight that was probably made worse by the fact that I wasn't developing properly.

Now, this was the mid-seventies and it was during a time doctors didn't want to do tonsilectomies any longer. It wasn't medically necessary. The doctors resisted for years. Then we moved to another state, I broke my arm, which healed very slowly, I continued to miss school and finally a doctor agreed that my hearing problems and impeded growth were caused by my constant strep infections.

The week after my ninth birthday my mother took me to the hospital and I had my tonsils and adenoids removed.

Shortly after the surgery I discovered that food was actually good! I gained weight and actually started getting taller. My hearing returned to normal. By the time I got to junior high, I was perfectly normal.

It got me to wondering. My mother is 5'8" - could I have been that tall if I didn't go through those constant infections for all those years? Would I have done better at school or made friends easier if I didn't have the hearing problems? Certainly I was lucky that removing my tonsils did in fact cure my recurrent infections. I've not had strep throat since, not one throat infection of any kind.

I've started thinking about my hysterectomy in the same way. I was not using my uterus. My uterus was causing me troubles.

I have to believe that awful pressure on my bladder, bulk in my belly pressing on other organs and my intestines, and the heavy bleeding has an overall affect on my health. That much bleeding cannot be healthy. These were not things that were going to kill me, but then again, a little bit of my quality of life was being chipped away. I couldn't be as active as I wanted to be because of my increasingly small bladder capacity. Let's face it, if anything is going to affect my longevity, it's lack of exercise and altering my diet because of bowel troubles.

Perhaps this is all just a complicated rationalization. Call it elective surgery if you want, but at the moment I'm glad I did it because it gives me a much more optimistic outlook on the next 50 years.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 07:53 PM | Comments (0)

September 16, 2004

Back on Subject

I forgot. This diary is supposed to be about uterine fibroids. I'm not quite sure if I should have this diary filed under fibroids any longer since I don't have them.

I have to say, I don't miss those rocks in my belly one bit.

I was talking on the phone this evening and I was on the bed ... on my stomach.

Ah, the little things.

I went out today and didn't go to the bathroom before I left the house, but that wasn't a problem. I didn't need to go!

Oh, I almost forgot, Happy New Year!

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 10:51 PM | Comments (0)

September 14, 2004

Brilliant

I had a brilliant idea this morning. I've been on a kick lately to organize things. Since I've been trapped in the house I've wanted to reduce clutter.

One of my pet peeves at the moment is the proliferation of drugs and supplements sitting on the kitchen counter. So I got it into my head that I could put them in the cutlery drawer in a spice rack. So I went out to the store this afternoon and picked up one of those spice racks that fits in the drawer. I tried to put it in the drawer and drat! it didn't fit. I'll have to return it.

Well, I suppose that gives me something to do tomorrow.

I also made stop at Victoria's Secret too. When my husband and I were wandering around the mall on Sunday he remarked about some very nice looking lace panties. They were $25. I wasn't about to pay that much money for one pair of undies that I probably wouldn't wear on a regular basis and would have to hand wash. So I went back today and found some rather nice and equally sexy little panties that were on sale for three pairs for $25. They also offered me a free bra fitting ... but I don't think I'm ready for that. My breasts are a little big right now and I'm a little worried they're going to stay that way.

My next check-up is next Tuesday. I'm looking forward to that. I feel sometimes like I need to impress my doctor, and this time I'd like to impress her with how well I've been healing.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 09:35 PM | Comments (0)

September 12, 2004

The Mall Life

Today, because it's still hot, my husband and I went to the mall.

He needed a new suitcase for his trip next week and I was interested in looking at some clothes that I might be able to wear back to work.

My belly is still a little big and I don't think my old clothes will be comfortable. I was thinking of some business-style jumpers. Alas, I didn't find anything like that. I did see an ultra cute dress at Ann Taylor. They just don't make dresses anymore. I want a short sleeve dress that comes to my knee, is that so hard? I don't want to look matronly, but sometimes I wouldn't mind looking like Donna Reed, you know, feminine and crisp.

Tomorrow I might make another journey out to do that again. Or maybe I'll just kick back. I suppose it depends on the heat.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 09:35 PM | Comments (0)

September 10, 2004

Hot Time!

Tonight a few friends from the neighborhood came over to watch fireworks from the roof. We're not far from Dodger Stadium, so on special nights (tonight was fan appreciation night) we get treats like this.

I woke up this morning and found that I was bleeding. Not just a little tinge of pink when I wiped, but really bleeding like the beginning of my period. It alarmed me enough that I called the doctor's office.

The doctor was off delivering a baby but I talked to the nurse, who assured me that even at five weeks such a thing was normal and it wasn't a mini-period. It couldn't be a mini-period. She said that the doctor is very careful to remove all endometrial tissue from the top of the cervix. Okay.

I'm not really troubled if I end up with a mini-period. My feeling is this: it's like I've kept a functioning part of my uterus. The studies say that women who lose their uterus go into menopause 3-5 years sooner than women who keep it. Well, what if the reason they go into menopause early is because they're not getting any biochemical feedback? If I have a bit of my uterus, maybe it'll keep my ovaries on their toes!

I have no clue if that's true.

But the bleeding is not that bad. Two panti-liners today.

No pain to speak of. My energy level is good and I had a drink today.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 11:20 PM | Comments (0)

September 09, 2004

Big Trip

Today I'm off on my first long-distance adventure.

My neighbor is taking the day off of work and wants to check out a furniture store down south from here in Costa Mesa.

She wanted some company and advice so we're heading out in a little bit. It's an hour drive. The mall there is huge, though I've never been to this furniture store, but I think it's in one of those satellites of the big mall.

Yesterday was more humid than hot, but I think I'm doing okay.

I've been hungry, but I think it's boredom. I'm trying to eat healthy things when I snack. Fruit, baby carrots, I had a few corn chips yesterday. For a real treat I also had a little chocolate and some crystallized ginger.

I have a little itching on the outside of my vagina. I don't know if this indicates an infection or if my body is just adjusting to the changes. By my records I should have my period, so maybe my body was expecting a pH change in my vagina. Or it could be that it's so unbearably hot that things are just irritated because of that. There's no discharge or odor so I'm not thinking it's an infection, just an irritation. (Also, I've had a few serious bouts of diarrhea as well, which can sometimes just irritate everything down there for a few days.)

I'm watching more TV but it seems that my sudden interest in watching TV is matched by the sudden nothingness to watch. I wish the fall season had started already. I have a friend who's been threatening to loan me the DVDs of The Office, so maybe I'll have to bug him about that.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 09:40 AM | Comments (0)

September 07, 2004

It's Hot

I've really nothing to report other than it's hot.

Today I went to the grocery store. I bought healthy things. I bought fruit and for some reason took great joy in measuring out 1.4 pounds of each item (because that's how much the fibroids weighed!). Two grapefruits, two mangoes, a small cantaloupe and four apples. I also got some frozen strawberry juice bars because I ran out of frozen bananas. Some yogurt. The only moderately bad thing I bought was a bag of corn chips and some fresh salsa. But hey, salsa is just tomatoes, and they're chocked full of antioxidants and vitamin C.

I've been playing with the phone wire too. I made a dreadfully ugly necklace. And a couple of cute chokers a few days ago.

I watched TV.

I had been having some pains in my abdomen, kind of in a line from the corner of the top of my pelvis to the top of my pubic bone. More on the left side than the right. But I've been very good about not doing anything for the past few days and I didn't take anything for the pain and it seems to have subsided.

I'm bored. I want to go back to work, but I know I don't have the strength for it. I certainly would have to go out and buy some other clothes too.

I think I've got PMS, which I will now call Post Ovulation Syndrome, since I can't menstruate. My breasts are sore and I'm carrying around at least five pounds of water in my belly and breasts. I've been drinking huge amounts of water, I think at least three quarts a day, probably more. I also started taking cranberry supplements again, to try to reduce this water weight and I was worried I had a UTI, but I don't have any symptoms except for a little bladder pain when I am very full.

My husband took the camera on his business trip with him. Maybe tomorrow I'll post all the other photos that I took to bring you up to date. There's very little reason to take photos every day now, nothing changes. The scar is still a dark purple line with small ridge of swelling at the top of it. It doesn't hurt much except when I sneeze or cough or the dog jumps up.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 09:51 PM | Comments (0)

September 04, 2004

Long Walk

My husband has gone out of town for nine days.

My dear neighbors came by to check up on me (I'd been alone for four hours!) and suggested we take a walk.

So I leashed up the dog and we went on a walk, down the hill, around to the main drag by our house and then, because I live in the hills, we tackled the "stairs" which the city built for pedestrians instead of going up the windy hill, you can take five flights of concrete stairs.

I took them two at a time! And though I was winded at the top, I was always winded at the top of the stairs.

I feel pretty good today. I've got a little muscle tug over on my left lower ab, but that's been there for a couple of days. I'm also a little worried because I sometimes get a slight pain when I void my bladder. I don't know if it's an indication of a UTI or just something normal. So, because it's the weekend, I've started taking megadoses of cranberry extract and I'm trying to up my fluid intake.

It's so hard to differentiate between what a normal little pain that comes with healing and what indicates a problem. I have a very high tolerance for pain, so sometimes I worry that I ignore signs that mean something.

I'm going to go visit at another neighbor who also works in my office later today. She'll fill me in on all the poop that I've been missing with the political stuff going on at our company (it merged with another company a week after my surgery so I've been a little worried about my job).

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 01:10 PM | Comments (0)

September 02, 2004

Getting around on my own

Well, today marks four weeks to the day from my procedure.

I'm officially released to have all the orgasms I want.

Well, I didn't wait for the official word. I wanted to know much sooner. That doesn't mean that I won't continue to check things out.

In other news that is perhaps related to that, my husband is leaving tomorrow for a ten day trip overseas, so I'll be all alone for a while. I'm not too concerned. I can drive now and do light shopping. I have lots of bottled water in the house and already stocked up on dog food - you know, the heavy things are taken care of.

Of course I'll miss him. I'm so lucky that we were able to schedule the procedure so that he was here for the most important part of the recovery. He'll be back in time for my next checkup, and I'm feeling good enough that I'll request to be cleared to go back to work, if only part time until the eight week mark.

The back is still bothering me, but I'm feeling fine otherwise. I did a little gardening last night after it cooled off. We planted some herbs in the back yard. I really wanted to replant some of my pots that used to sit by the back door, but the nursery didn't have anything I really wanted. September isn't exactly the time to be going to the nursery for plants like that.

It's hot now in Los Angeles, and I know it's going to be a struggle to keep cool for the next week or so. I don't feel like going out to air conditioned placed because I get tired so quick. So I'll have to make do somehow in the house. Or find some air-conditioned friends.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 11:03 PM | Comments (0)

August 31, 2004

The Thing about Vicodin

Well, it turns out that my biggest challenge at the moment has nothing to do with my recent operation.

Nope, I've tweaked my back. It's an old injury that's given me trouble since I was 17 and I slipped in the shower at the dorms. It's between my shouldblades on the left side of my back and when it starts spasming it causes some sort of nerve compression that goes all the way down my left arm. I'm also left-handed, which is double difficult for me.

So, today, for the first time I took a vicodin. Not because of the operation, but because of the back. Well, I took half a vicodin after dinner. I'll take the other half at bedtime. I was worried it would make me nervous, because codeine usually does. But it's really taken the edge off of the pain, which is good because I'd say I've been at a seven or eight for most of the weekend and I really should have done this sooner.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 09:13 PM | Comments (1)

August 30, 2004

Back Pain

Well, it turns out that my biggest challenge at the moment has nothing to do with my recent operation.

Nope, I've tweaked my back. It's an old injury that's given me trouble since I was 17 and I slipped in the shower at the dorms. It's between my shouldblades on the left side of my back and when it starts spasming it causes some sort of nerve compression that goes all the way down my left arm. I'm also left-handed, which is double difficult for me.

So, today, for the first time I took a vicodin. Not because of the operation, but because of the back. Well, I took half a vicodin after dinner. I'll take the other half at bedtime. I was worried it would make me nervous, because codeine usually does. But it's really taken the edge off of the pain, which is good because I'd say I've been at a seven or eight for most of the weekend and I really should have done this sooner.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 07:12 PM | Comments (0)

August 26, 2004

A Bit Tired

At the moment I'm a bit tired. Mentally, I'm quite sharp (which means I can blog) but physically I'm wiped.

I took my husband's car into the shop to have a tire replaced. It was a rather long drive (about 40 minutes) and instead of using a pillow this time, I put a folded up bath towel between the seat belt and my incision site. That allowed me more range of movement but still protected my belly.

The good news is that bumpy roads don't seem to bother me at all anymore. Traffic is exhausting, but that's not really anything new. I'm also not accustomed to driving my husband's car, as it's radically different than mine, so that always throws me a bit. But now with his working again, I can use mine (he'd been driving mine - he's so busy with work and taking care of me, he didn't have time to take it in).

While waiting the 90 minutes for the car, I tried sitting in the nice waiting area, but found the chairs not quite suited to the way I wanted to sit. So I took a walk down the street - two blocks down to a coffee place and got a non-fat latte and then up and around two blocks past the car place to make a nice big loop. Walking seemed more comfortable than sitting for some reason, which is a huge change as walking before made my incision site hurt.

This is such a good sign that I think I'm going to start working out on the treadmill a few times a week to try to get back in shape. Not that I've gone so far out of shape in just three weeks, but hell, I want to look my best when I go back to work (and I'd like to fit back into my old work clothes).

The incision is healing nicely, though it won't show in the photos, the lumpy ridge at the top of the incision seems to be going a way. I don't know if that was pooled blood or scar tissue or just swelling, but it's going away. The feeling seems to be coming back as well. Of course that leads to more pinchy/itching feelings, but I've been putting oil and neosporin on it and doing a little light rubbing/massage to help it along.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 06:28 PM | Comments (0)

August 25, 2004

Workplace Privacy

My general thought on this is that it's no one's business what's going on with your health.

I mean, your boss and co-workers are entitled to know that you're taking some time off for medical things and that there may be restrictions on what you can do when you come back, but beyond that, it's none of their business.

I came upon this way of thinking like this:

Back in May I went to the doctor and was told that I had fibroids and that my uterus was the size of a 16 week pregnancy. My doctor was a little concerned that my uterus was also a bit misshapen and she couldn't palpate either of my ovaries. So she sent me off to have an ultrasound.

I arrived at the office a little late and though I was uncomfortable for the rest of the day, I didn't tell anyone where I'd been or what had been going on. Later in the afternoon someone came to my office and said that there was a surprise going away party for one of the other fellows who works on the floor. I didn't know him well, he was a couple of years older than me and worked for a different division but we always said hello in the copy room. He was going on medical leave because he'd been diagnosed with metasticized prostate cancer and was going to have surgery and then chemo and/or radiation.

It was the worst party I have ever been to. It was a surprise party, first of all. How do you give someone a surprise party the day before they go in for cancer surgery? And it was the worst cake I have ever had in my life, cloyingly sweet yellow cake with white frosting and peaches in the middle. I ate it, to be polite, but after my morning of being probed and made to hold a half a gallon of water in my bladder and now bleeding for some reason, I was really in no mood. To top it off, the conversation drifted into the area of his procedure and his fears about never waking up from surgery and the thoughts of all the things that could go wrong.

So, when my time came around to tell my boss about the upcoming surgery and medical leave, I said nothing.

She asked me point blank and I said I wasn't comfortable discussing it. It wasn't life-threatening but was urgent enough that I didn't want to put it off until January which was the next time where I thought I could safely take off eight weeks (not to mention the fact that my contract is renewed each February and I didn't think it'd be a good time to be off work).

That's where I left it. We made an announcement at the staff meeting that I was taking a two month medical leave and no one has really asked me any questions.

I did tell one friend at work and she even came to visit me the week after I got out of the hospital, so they all know that I've made it through.

My point is, to reinforce that it's no one's business what goes on with you medically. I see people on the hystersister.com chat boards complain about insensitive co-workers and I have to wonder why anyone would tell someone who wasn't an intimate friend what was going on in the first place. If it's not someone I feel comfortable talking about my sex life or menstrual cycle, I'm certainly not going to tell them about my sudden infertility. I filed the appropriate forms with my HR department which are rather vague (abdominal surgery to correct uterine fibroids) but I know that information is protected by privacy rules in the company.

On the other hand, if you want or need support from your co-workers and consider them friends, talk away.

I'm actually pretty comfortable talking about my surgery after the fact, but beforehand I really didn't want anyone bringing it up. Maybe it's all part of my control issues or maybe it really is none of their business.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 06:10 PM | Comments (0)

August 24, 2004

Driving, Miss Lizzie!

Yes, today I drove.

It's a good thing, too. My car needs to be driven every two weeks or so!

I was glad to get out of the house too.

I didn't go far. Just two miles to the bank and back. I needed to transfer some money and couldn't do it online (for some bizarre reason) but could handle it all at the ATM. So I dressed accordingly this morning (I've not been wearing a bra most days, so I had to remedy that today) in some lounge pants that are decent enough for public and a clean tee shirt.

I took a little throw pillow and put it diagonally across my middle, with it under the lap belt but over the shoulder one. It wasn't too bulky for driving but I think it was much better for my incision area (when I had my doctor's appt last week, I forgot the pillow but did keep my hands in front of my incision the whole time - but not exactly a way to drive a car).

Other than that, it was uneventful. It's not like this is the first time I've gone weeks without driving, though probably the first time I've gone so long without being in the car at all.

I'm tired today. I got up and put away all my laundry. Then I started doing things that I'm supposed to do on my list. Things like calling the imaging folks who did my sonogram to ask about some billing. I paid a few bills. I called the exterminator because I think we have termites again. And now I'm exhuasted. I still have lots of things left to do, but I'm well on my way to half of them, so I'm satisfied.

But a little lie down in front of the TV for a half an hour and I should be right as rain.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 03:24 PM | Comments (0)

August 23, 2004

A Few Tidbits Today

Funny thing first: since my pubic hair has started growing back my husband calls it my crotch mullet! Business on the top and party on the bottom! (Yes, we are randy sometimes!)

More of doing nothing today. Played a little more with my new wire collection and made a little necklace last night. I talked to my dad on the phone. A friend spent much of the day with me, we talked, had some lunch and watched some Olympics and the first episode of a TV show he likes called Dead Like Me.

Hmm, in other unrelated news, I'm finally able to lie on my tummy comfortably.

I got the first bill from the hospital today. It said not to pay it. Thank goodness! It's just for my reference as they're going to be billing my insurance company. It doesn't include my anesthesiologist or surgeon but the total for the hospital stay, operating room and drugs (IVs I guess) comes to $25,900! I have no idea how much the insurance company will pay but I'm sure it will all be worked out to everyone's satisfaction. It was a clean hospital and everyone treated me well, I've ended up with no infections, not even the dreaded and wholly expected UTI, so I'm in such a gracious mood I'd tip them if there were a line on the bill for that!

I'm working on processing the last few days of photos, but I think I'll do those as a post later today.

Good news is I've got plenty of energy and am looking forward to getting out an about this week sometime. For today, I might just put on some pants and take a walk around the block (I'm wearing a nightshirt today - can't look too invalid for the neighbors!).

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 04:38 PM | Comments (0)

August 22, 2004

Good Intentions

I meant to do a little more exercise today. I meant to put away the laundry. I meant to pay a few bills.

I did none of these things.

A friend came over for a little while this morning and we chatted and she filled me in on her life. She's the friend I've mentioned that had a myomectomy about ten years ago (laproscopic after lupron). I asked her a little more about it. Her fibroid was the size of an orange and shrunk down to the size of a plum with lupron. She said the lupron was no big deal - it made her skin dry, she said. Right now she's going through menopause and using lots of herbal supplements and said that other than the irregular bleeding it's going pretty well.

My in-laws also came over for lunch. After a relaxing lunch on the deck we had a little desert then went in the living room to relax (for me to put my feet up). I helped to prep and serve, and that kind of tired me out, especially the stairs. We went out in the yard for a bit too and so by the time I got back in the house I was wiped and excused myself to lie down. They stuck around for another half hour and then left (without disturbing me with good-byes or anything).

The incision looks good today and I'll probably post the last few day's photos tomorrow.

My belly is a little swollen today, but not as bad as Friday. I think pants make a big difference, but I'm not sure why. Yesterday I wore a jumper. Friday I wore yoga pants that were a little snug. Today I'm wearing drawstring pants. Now that the laundry is clean, I can go back to wearing my nightgowns when I'm not expecting company.

Good news is still no pain. The occasional twinge, still occasional gas pain but really it's all rather manageable. I've even been sleeping on my belly a bit in the morning (after the swelling goes down overnight).

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 09:51 PM | Comments (0)

August 21, 2004

Yet Another Uneventful Day

I think the thing I've noticed most of all about being open and frank about my gyno problems is the fact that it seems to get so many other people talking about their gyno problems or problems other people they know have had.

Today I found out that my mother had a polyp a few years ago.

A friend from NY told me that he forwarded my most recent email about my pathology report to another friend who has a fibroid the size of a grapefruit. Another friend just emailed me about her myomectomy she had a few years ago (another grapefruit).

I didn't do much today. I sorted the laundry and later when my husband pulled it out of the dryer, I put it away (while watching the great old film, The Shop Around the Corner with Jimmy Stewart).

I sat in the back yard earlier in the afternoon. I emailed a few friends and talked to my mother on the phone.

I skipped breakfast. I had something that only approached lunch but my husband made a great dinner. I don't feel much like eating, but I've been doing it more out of boredom, which I know is a bad habit to get into.

Later this week I really want to get out of the house. I don't know if I'm ready to drive yet or not, but maybe I'll take a short trip to the bank or something just as a test.

I had a disturbing dream last night. I don't know what it meant, in it I felt like I'd been forgotten or something. And it seems that John Goodman was in it. Go figure.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 10:03 PM | Comments (0)

August 20, 2004

Busy, Busy Day!

This morning a friend came over for a day-long visit. He keeps me company. He's been reading to me, sometimes we play Scrabble. Sometimes we just sit in the back yard. I think of it like some sort of Victorian recovery - where I've gone to the desert or the shore to get over my long illness or something and he's my ever-present companion.

Anyway, today's special treat was 60 feet of 25-pair phone cable. If you don't know what that is, well, you're missing quite the treat. It's just phone wire. 50 pieces of phone wire in 25 different colored patterns. I don't know what I'm going to do with it. It took the better part of the day to cut the insulating sheath off of it and then separate out the different strands of wire and roll each of them up into a single little bundle.

I'm thinking of making a little basket with it. (Probably not as nice as this stuff!) I've never made a basket in my life, so this should be an interesting task. When we were kids and we had phone wire we'd make rings and other little pieces of jewelry, so maybe I'll make fun little gifts for people.

I was also thinking of using it to decorate Christmas packages and other gifts for the rest of the year. I still don't think that's going to use it all up. After all, I've got 50 pieces and they're each 60 feet long ... that's 3,000 feet of wire!

In other news, I'm feeling pretty good today. Other than teasing the wire apart (which meant laying it down from the front of the house to the back - so lots of walking about), I did some dishes and of course wrote some emails and played online quite a bit. I haven't eaten much today and I'm kind of glad for it. I'm a bit swollen up in the belly - probably from the car ride and a bit of other walking about yesterday (a couple of friends came over for a visit last night and stayed for dinner a little Olympic viewing).

Just a little while ago my husband and I took the dog for a walk - once around the block. A big thing for me, but a mere warmup for they hubby's evening workout before dinner.

I look forward to doing more, but I know I shouldn't push it too much. I'm still getting a little blood-tinged discharge which might last another couple of weeks (doctor said it's normal). I'm really looking forward to not wearing panty liners ever again!

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 07:18 PM | Comments (0)

August 19, 2004

Two Week Mark

A friend was supposed to come over today to keep me company. But no biggie.

So I didn't do anything at all today.

A little cruising on the internet. Talked on the phone. Had some lunch. Checked in at work.

Really. I did nothing.

I feel pretty good too. My belly is more swollen today than it has been in the past few days. It was pretty swollen yesterday evening too. I guess maybe I overdid it yesterday.

Tomorrow morning first thing I've got my incision check at the doctor. So that'll make for a fun day. And probably a more fun post in this diary.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 12:28 PM | Comments (2)

August 18, 2004

Sneezes Hurt!

I've had only one other sneeze up until now, and not a big one.

Just now I had two in a row. Owie! I tried bracing my belly, but the spot that I didn't seem to cover really hurts, just on the left edge of the incision. It looks fine. Maybe I hurt it on the inside?

Owie, ow, ow, ow!

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 07:40 PM | Comments (0)

The Nothing Day

A friend was supposed to come over today to keep me company. But no biggie.

So I didn't do anything at all today.

A little cruising on the internet. Talked on the phone. Had some lunch. Checked in at work.

Really. I did nothing.

I feel pretty good, too. My belly is more swollen today than it has been in the past few days. It was pretty swollen yesterday evening as well. I guess maybe I overdid it yesterday.

Tomorrow morning first thing I've got my incision check at the doctor. So that'll make for a fun day. And probably a more fun post in this diary.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 04:17 PM | Comments (0)

August 15, 2004

Stupid Hormones

Well, I'm doing great. Much better than I thought.

I get tired, and I knew I would, but I don't think I really understood what that would feel like. It's not like a sick tired, like when you have a fever. It's more like a tired you get after donating blood. Like my body is occupied elsewhere.

I have trouble focusing sometimes. I have a rather short attention span. The blog entries I've been doing take a while. I'll type for a bit and save them and then come back to them later.

I try to read, but I can't get more than a page or so. Magazines are good and reading the papers online. I've tried watching movies but I can't really do that for more than an hour yet. Sitcoms and cartoons are about my speed. I have to be careful with things like The Daily Show though, funny hurts.

My incision is healing well. My pubic hair is growing back and it itches at this point. I know it'll only be a few more days and it'll be fine. The bruises from the operation that are around the incision site and those on my arms where I had the needles are also fading nicely.

I take maybe two super Ibuprofen a day. My bowels are back to normal and I pee pretty regularly (actually, I'm still peeing about as much as I did before, but without that burning pressure I used to get because of the fibroids).

Thursday next week is my first appointment and I'm hoping to get some restrictions lifted then. I don't think I'm ready to drive right now. Hell, I've only been out of the house once to go to the back yard. I certainly couldn't drive right now unless it was an emergency.

I'm spending a lot of time online. I chat with friends on instant messenger. I blog things. I read website and stuff.

I also spend a lot of time at a website called HysterSisters.com - it's a bulletin board for women planning or recovery from a hysterectomy. They have lots of great info but mostly it's just seeing posts from other women who are going through the same thing. It's good to see real life examples - I like to find folks that are most like me to see how things are going for them four weeks or four months ahead of me.

Right now it's lunch time and my husband is making me a sandwich. I think I'll eat that now. I have no appetite but I've been eating anything he puts in front of me because I know I need to. I'm losing weight, about two or three pounds since surgery. One of those was what they took out.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 09:23 PM | Comments (3)

August 14, 2004

Oh, the Itching!

Yes, everything itches. The incision area itches. The incision itself has no external stitches, just surgi-strips. (Yes, my guts seem to be taped closed.) And of course they shaved a good part of my pubic area too.

And it all itches. The trouble with stubble down there is that once it gets to a certain length, it pokes through my underwear, so that when I move around, it kind of wiggles the little hairs and just bugs the bejeezers out of me. Of course I can't scratch, but boy do I want to! And of course I can't put anything on it, because the doc specifically said I couldn't. I can't even wash the area of the incision! When I take a shower every morning, I tape a piece of plastic over it and when I'm done I blow dry the area (no touching!).

Some of the tape is coming up. Not at the edges like I thought it would. Actually, there's a ridge or bubble along one side of the little strips of tape. I'm guessing that's because the area was swollen when the put the tape on, and not that it's not, it's not making contact.

I've been taking photos every day, just as a record for how it heals. I haven't looked at them yet, but I might do that later today and perhaps post them for those of you interested in gory details tomorrow. (Actually, it's sadly not gory at all. I expected it to be shocking, but it's really not.)

Other than a bit of pulling and pinching in my abdomen, I'm feeling pretty good. My energy level is better. I feel like I can do more things, though I don't of course. I feel like I could sort the laundry or do a few dishes, but I'm going to wait another couple of days for that. I went out in the back yard yesterday for a while. I've got a great Adirondack chair to sit in, which is the ideal angle for keeping pressure off my belly, but the yard is down a flight of stairs and the patio is a hundred fifty feet from the back door, so I was pretty tired after coming back up. Funny how that works.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 09:22 AM | Comments (0)

August 13, 2004

One Week and a Day

Well, I'm doing great. Much better than I thought.

I get tired, and I knew I would, but I don't think I really understood what that would feel like. It's not like a sick tired, like when you have a fever. It's more like a tired you get after donating blood. Like my body is occupied elsewhere.

I have trouble focusing sometimes. I have a rather short attention span. The blog entries I've been doing take a while. I'll type for a bit and save them and then come back to them later.

I try to read, but I can't get more than a page or so. Magazines are good and reading the papers online. I've tried watching movies but I can't really do that for more than an hour yet. Sitcoms and cartoons are about my speed. I have to be careful with things like The Daily Show though, funny hurts.

My incision is healing well. My pubic hair is growing back and it itches at this point. I know it'll only be a few more days and it'll be fine. The bruises from the operation that are around the incision site and those on my arms where I had the needles are also fading nicely.

I take maybe two super Ibuprofen a day. My bowels are back to normal and I pee pretty regularly (actually, I'm still peeing about as much as I did before, but without that burning pressure I used to get because of the fibroids).

Thursday next week is my first appointment and I'm hoping to get some restrictions lifted then. I don't think I'm ready to drive right now. Hell, I've only been out of the house once to go to the back yard. I certainly couldn't drive right now unless it was an emergency.

I'm spending a lot of time online. I chat with friends on instant messenger. I blog things. I read website and stuff.

I also spend a lot of time at a website called HysterSisters.com - it's a bulletin board for women planning or recovery from a hysterectomy. They have lots of great info but mostly it's just seeing posts from other women who are going through the same thing. It's good to see real life examples - I like to find folks that are most like me to see how things are going for them four weeks or four months ahead of me.

Right now it's lunch time and my husband is making me a sandwich. I think I'll eat that now. I have no appetite but I've been eating anything he puts in front of me because I know I need to. I'm losing weight, about two or three pounds since surgery. One of those was what they took out.

Posted by Elizabeth M. at 01:26 PM | Comments (0)