Nervous about therapy today.

I went to therapy today.
I was shaking so hard, afraid to face her after what I talked about last time.
But she was nice to me (so confusing). it confuses me so much when people are nice to me... i dont understand it at all. I'm supposed to hang on to what i know... that i am telling the truth.. that I want a better life.
its hard. everyone else inside knows. i think they hate one's talking much these days to teach other. i'm so ashamed. this is all my fault. all this breakdown inside. its all my fault.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under: Migraines


Hi dear Nobody,The therapist is supporting you and all the others on healing. She wants to listen to you and help you.Of course she was nice to you. I understand when people have been mean or abusive that can become all that you expect from all people........we're not all like whoever hurt you sweet Nobody. I understand that due to the traumatic stuff you remember and survived and because of your age, it's hard to expect much from adults or to trust us much. But there are so many people here, and at AMJ that truly care about you and each of Pilgrim's others and want you all to come to feel safe and be healthier together.those sound like good things to hang on to:You are telling the truthYou want a better lifeBelieve me Pilgrim will believe you, as hard as it may be for her to listen to the bad things. And Pilgrim too wants a better life, for herself and all of you.Don't think the others hate you. Pilgrim has told me that she likes it that Caroline is taking care of school and that you are pretty much around the rest of the time and that she's glad you are because she feels afraid. See grownups are afraid too. And nothing is your fault, nothing! Pilgrim and all of you are victims, even if you did something bad because you were a victim. They don't hate you and nothing is your fault. Cling to the truth and your hope for a better life, and you'll get there eventually.Hugs, Judy

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