Encouragement about going inpatient

I need encouragement.
There, I asked for what I need.
I can't believe I'm doing this. *sigh*
I am going in a few days into a hospital that treats trauma and DID... everything is almost ready, after spending a lot of time on the phone with insurance and filling out forms, and getting confused as all get out. I'm really overwhelmed.
The members of my support forum at A Mind's Journey have been so helpful, and I am so grateful for them. I'm so glad that I have their support.
I am so nervous and scared. Inside, things are messy. There is a lot of yelling, nightmares, flashbacks of a hospital I was in for a separate issue (eating disorder) several years ago that was a bad experience, the 5 year old screaming a lot.
But the situation has improved. I have heard some good things about this particular treatment center... I have heard a few people say its one of the best places to go. Its good that I'm choosing to go on my own and being proactive. I think the idea of having 24 hour therapeutic support is good... I have needed it for a long, long time.

But I am still scared out of my mind.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:


You're doing such an amazing job! Don't feel bad about asking for encouragement, you need all the encouragement you can get! You're doing a very brave thing, doing what's best for you in the long run rather than what's easiest at the moment. It sounds like you've really researched this and found the best place to go. I think that's great - you're in control of what happens, it's up to you where you go and what you do. It will be scary at first, but I bet you'll get used to it and find it less scary than you're imagining - anticipating something is just about always worse than the thing itself. Hopefully you'll learn things, maybe make some friends, and be glad that you did this in the end. And even if you end up not liking it, it's only for a couple weeks, right? You can survive anything for a few weeks. But from what other people at AMJ have said, I suspect you'll settle in there and find it much less scary than it seems now. I can't wait to hear from you when you get back, to hear all about how it went, who you met, what you did. And in the meantime, we'll be writing to you through AMJ, you don't have to stop getting support from AMJ just because you won't have computer access! Good luck Pilgrim, I really think you can do this! And me, Jamie, and everyone at AMJ are thinking about you!


Hey Sweet Gal,
You said it..."you've needed to do this for a long time" and it's something you have decided, something you control, a rare thing.
From what I've seen at the place's site, and what I've read from others encouraging you, you are going to a place where they know how to help you...

They are not going to hurt you there...and I believe if treatment gets too intense they back off and wait for you to feel better and try a different approach next time.

You are courageous, really, for making this decision and deciding to do it NOW rather than waiting til school's end.

The waiting and unknown can be scary and crazy-making. You just keep focused on the fact that you'll have people helping you 24/7 who believe you and understand what you go through...wow SUPPORT in person for maybe the 1st time.

I'm a nest-er and I re-nest while I'm away or preparing to go away. I re-nest my suitcase, I go over my lists again. And when I am prepared, I try to do things to bring my mind to the present... movies, be outside, journal, read, go out (I know you are limited in that due to your heart).

I don't know how long you'll be away, and I hope I can snail mail to you. I cherish you and our friendship and want to support you however I can.

In the end, 'this too shall pass' and you'll be home and feeling and dealing better and it'll feel like you just left.

I hope you remember all of us who love you and I will be offering prayers daily and thinking of you lots every day. As you know I don't do alot else these days...your surprise was my devotion for you for the past couple of weeks. I want only the best for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll be waiting too to see you back.....

Hugs and Blessings, Love, Judy

Hi Pilgrim -

You've courageous to take this step and seek treatment. You have so many readers and fans who are sending positive thoughts your way, including me. Even though we'll miss you around here at Health Diaries, I know you'll be doing something positive for yourself and that's the only important thing. I'll keep your seat warm while you're gone. ;)


Thanks Tracy.
I WILL return!!

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