Going into treatment

What have I done?

If I hear "Its an opportunity!" one more time, I'm going to stab myself in the eyeball. I'm a cutter. Dont think I wont do it.

going in for an assessment (and most likely to stay for good) to a treatment program on wednesday

i dont know what to do.
already talked to the intake person, talked to my insurance (NO THEY DONT PAY FOR THIS HOSPITAL DAMMIT!!!)

how am I supposed to come up with the money for inpatient? i'm going to have to sell a kidney or something :( I DONT HAVE THE MONEY. i dont know what I'm going to do. I'm going to have to look around the house and through my things and try to find stuff to auction on Ebay.

wednesday... dammit. thats so soon

everything is taken care of at work until the end of the school year... all the paperwork is done, lesson plans are done, the kids will be taken care of... a substitute could handle everything.

while my students think that I'm abandoning them :(

i hate myself. I HATE MYSELF!

everyone inside is in a chaotic state. One determined to kill herself, one determined to kill everyone else for going inpatient, one determined to run away, one ready to shut down, and everyone else just running around like mad.

dammit, what have I DONE??

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:


Hey Sweet Gal,
Do you mean you will go ip right away and not wait til the end of the school year?
I've finished a special gift for you and am shipping it tomorrow. I trust it will get to you. I hope you (all) will like it.
I'll give you a hint, it's lavendar...the prettiest purple they have, to me anyway.
Darlin' whatever you decide I support you and am here.
I love and care about you soo much. Amazing what 9mos or so of corresponding heartfully can do toward bonding.
Hugs and Blessings, Love, Judy xoxo

its really good

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