I decided to go inpatient on my own

The title says it all.
I made the decision to go into a treatment center on my own.
I told my therapist tonight that I would.
We were talking about it...and talking about it.
She didn't say I had to. My husband didn't say I had to.
I said I would.
To everyone who has tried for YEARS to get me to go....
now get the hell off my back :cry:
i am having such a damned bad night.
Inside people are FREAKING OUT. I have been cutting and driving recklessly and I dont even know what else and its lucky I didn't get myself killed on the way home from my therapist's office because i was so upset, the 5 year old was screaming out loud at me (LOUDLY), and Missy was hollering "I AM GOING TO F***** KILL YOU!!" as I was trying to drive.

this is not good
this is not right
my head is going
to explode tonight.

My therapist tried to give me some sort of pep talk about how its so much better to make the decision to go on my own instead of having it made for me... but I could barely hear it because as soon as I told her "OK, I'll do it, I'll go," a cacaophony of screams and pounding started in my head and it sounded like a freigh train inside and I covered up my ears and curled up in a ball on her couch.
Of course then it was time to go. Naturally.

Here I am again, dealing with things on my own.
Me and my razor blades.
I dont care. :(
I'm already going into the crazy hospital anyway...
who cares.

i dont know what i'm doing.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:


I went inpatient of my own accord. I think I had more of an issue with being in the "looney bin" than anyone else in my life did. That was a few years ago. I think it was the best decision that I have ever made. Good luck.

Cudos for you for making YOUR decision. It will only benefit if it is your choice.
Hugs and Blessings, Love Judy

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