a feeling of unreality

This is such a strange day. i am so, so dissociated and i cant get grounded no matter what . I have had such a weird day.my brain is all scattered, i c ant get grounded. i tried taking a nap, i tried a few ways of growdning miself. My friend is trying to talk to me, She says it sounds like Mae is around too, but I swear this is Pilgrim and not Mae.
and i no this looks like Mae's writing but this is me writing and I can't seem to help it because i am so far away down a tunnel that I cant cjonttrol my fingers or my body.
i tihnk my husband is mad at me i think he is frustrated. he said you eat what you want to eat, i'm not going to tell you what to eat anymore. i am not sure what i did wrong, i think i must have done something wrong last night, except that I cant remember ANYTHING from last night
and this morning he snapped at me. i dont know what for. i was so far away inside that i couldn't understand his words, i just heard the tone of his voice. Then i had pr o blems understanding at church and ... this is such a frustrating day.
i want to hide ferom everythhing including myaself. i am sick of other inside peo eple tak=ing over my bod y and doing things i dont knw about.\ it feels like i
a m ffrozen inside my bod yand cant get out b ecaues i am too far away from the oustide.
i wish i could call my therapist to tel l her what is going on because mayhbe you d have some ideas. i and somentihng realy is not rite here inside me today.
It feels like Mae is a bout to scream her head off. but i dont know why. theres nothing even wrong.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:


I'm sorry you are so dissociated and that apparently something went on that upset your husband and maybe Mae. Can you step up and ask him what happened, what is he upset about? He knows your diagnosis, he understands the disorder, he could understand that you don't know what happened...
Ask him....
Love, Judy

Hiya hun :) I understand what its like having days like that. I went through one of them today. just wanted to let you know i have been thinking of you. i'm glad to have you as a friend.


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