"I would do anything for love"

Tonight on my walk, I was thinking hard about how ever since I was about 12 years old, I have prayed really, really hard for a friend. Every night since I started to get really lonely, in the 5th or 6th grade, I would pray so hard-- God, please just bring me a real friend. I would pray that I "would do anything. ANYTHING." I've been praying that ever since then... which makes that prayer well over 20 years old.
It hasn't worked yet. It isn't that prayer doesn't work, because prayer does work. But sometimes God's answer to prayer is "wait".
I have had friends.... sort of... through the years. None of them have been true, real friends, I guess, because it seems so easy for them to leave me, for them to get too busy and forget about me, too easy for them to walk away, too easy for them to not be here when I need them. (I am not talking about some good friends I know online-- I am talking about people in real-time, real life)
Tonight though the thought occurred to me... I have always been saying, "I would do anything for love." ANYTHING. And I have. At times I've compromised my safety, or my ideals, or my identity, in an attempt to find true friendship and love. None of that has worked.
Tonight I realized... things are different now.
I WONT do anything for love. Not anymore.
I will no longer compromise my safety, my morals, my ideals, my identity, my beliefs, or anything else, to get someone to love me or to like me.
Maybe ... just maybe... this realization will help me find real friendship after all.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:


Hey Sweet Gal,
Glad to see you're commitment to yourself in your message.
Again, wish I lived near you. Come to AZ??!!
My Mom's doing better, really, doing ok. and our computer was down the last week, but back, hence this message.
You're always in my thoughts and in my heart,
Love & Blessings, judy

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