Losing weight, and how we all see ourselves
Some good news.
I'm happy to report that I've lost a couple pounds and fit into a pair of jeans that I haven't been able to for a while. The meds I'm on make me lose my appetite. Not the best when you're in recovery from an eating disorder, and my treatment team isn't ever thrilled when I lose weight, but at least I'M happy with something for a change.
Its interesting how each of us inside view ourselves. I dont know if I can quite explain it. The younger kids, of course, look and feel younger. One of the ways I can tell that they are about to come to the front is that I begin to physically feel shorter. My fingers start to not work right, like I can't control them. I stumble more (its really embarassing). Things around me start to look like they are higher, like it looks like I can't reach up to get things out of the cupboards. Mae feels like she has a round tummy. Blue feels smaller and skinnier. Tuck physically feels like a boy...um...if you get my drift.
Among those of us who are older, Jo feels really fat like I do. Fat thighs, stomach, hips, arms, everything. We see ourselves as very fat. But Missy is thinner. She sees herself as in control of everything in her life, including her food, so of COURSE she would never have overeaten in the 1st place, and so naturally, she sees herself as naturally thin. Some of us are taller. Some of us can't see ourselves in the mirror and some won't even look.
And me... I have no idea what I look like. I can't even tell.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
That sounds confusing but if you think of each personality as an entity, it makes perfect sense.
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