Do's and Don’ts for Singleton Friends of Multiples:

I found this online tonight at, and it resonated so much with me that I just HAD to post it. These are just a few off the list, the ones I felt are really important to me. The rest of it can be found at:
-- Pilgrim

Do's and Don’ts for Singleton Friends of Multiples
Do NOT ever touch us from behind.
DO speak to our inner children like children.
Do NOT ask "Who's here now?" If we wanted you to know we would tell you.
Do NOT expect consistency of feeling, thought, or action on any subject.
Do NOT tell anyone to go inside because you do not like their views.
If you are uncomfortable with something said or done, say so, and do NOT avoid us in the future without an explanation.
Be understanding that we have many crisis situations in our lives of healing from our abuse, i.e.: flashbacks, panic attacks, body memories..
DO be encouraging.
DON'T tell us that the abuse happened a long time ago and for us to "just get over it!" That is a HUGE insult!!

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:


hiya pilgrim!

Thankyou thank you thank you, hmm did i say thank you yet? THANK YOU!!!!!!! for posting this on your journal. Sorry i havent been around much, been thinkin bout you lots though. Hang in there k? *safe hugs*

This is all very true. I think it not only goes for DID's but for survivors as a whole.

I have friends that are touchy feely type people. I hate that. They dont respect personal space. They hug, they lean in too far, they dont understand that it's braking boundaries because as abuse goes they dont know what it feels like to have such boundaries repeatedly broken. no, they dont mean harm but the harm is there.

i have to ask though, do you ever get concerned when people address your little ones? We in Morton's Pride dont appreciate it when someone asks for a little one to come out or for anyone to just say, "hey tell Morton I said," or ask Morton if this that and the other. I often wonder if other multiples have similar boundries with insiders. On our journal we dont even write the names of our little because we dont feel safe enough to do it. As much info and openness that we have online we dont feel safe enough to put the names of our littles down or to let others address them personally. do you feel this way?


Being the SO of a multiple i can attest that they as well as I agree with your Do's and Don'ts.
We have a common friend, a singleton, who is trying to learn more about MPD by asking questions and even providing a point of view keepers (my wife) may not see on her/their own. Do' and don'ts are pointed to him and he graciously accepts them, learning from them.

Do's and Don'ts set boundaries and boundaries ar enecessary to build trust.

john w and Keeeprs

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