Maybe the 7th time is the Charm..

I really don't know why I'm doing this again. But tomorrow night I have an appointment with yet ANOTHER new therapist. I was told this person is "the bet therapist" in my state. We'll see. Only because I'm desperate. I don't really want anyone except for Sharon actually. I am not getting my hopes up but I'm just going to give this a try and do my best. Over the last 6 replacements for Sharon, my hopes have been shattered just a few too many times. But you just never know, right? So on Wednesday night, I have an appointment with a new therapist, who is a Christian this time, so maybe that will help... it is a man this time...which is pretty scary, but this guy comes very highly recommended by a couple of people I know. I just don't know. I'm scared out of my wits right now. But my eating disorder and my flashbacks have been pretty difficult for the past 2 weeks or so. And I need someone to talk to so badly. I have been making some friends, but this is just stuff that normal people can't handle. Apparently, stuff that even trained therapists can't handle :( So I don't know. So if I come home tomorrow night thinking it was a disaster, at least there was no love lost. Anything better than "disastrous" will be a good sign I think and we can fly with that. I just miss Sharon. I just want her. That's all.
Please don't leave me any messages on "giving someone new a chance." Over the past year and a half, I have heard everything. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. And I just want Sharon. She is the one who knew all of us. She is the one who has all the details, and the one who had our heart & knew everything about us. She is the one we had the connection with. It was a one of a kind thing.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:


Your blog has been very interesting to read. I wanted to learn more about DID after watching the TV show The United States of Tara. I'm manic depressive, myself.

Anyway, I really hope that the 7th time is the charm. Can Sharon transfer records to this new doc? Everytime I read a new entry, I also think "I wish Sharon would start counseling her again." =(

Good luck, and God bless you on your journey!

Hi Pilgrim

I have been reading your blog, and want to tell you how open and honest you are. I have been learning a great deal thanks to you.

I was a therapist...and I have an eating disorder. Anorexia and bulimia. It is well controlled now...but I don't really know if it ever fully leaves. The thing for me, is to try and keep my head and my priorities in the right place.

I am sorry about Sharon. I have been trying to read archives to see if there was any type of closure between the two of you. I cant find that...but perhaps I missed it?

If not, it really surprises me. I am sure it must have hurt you deeply.

Thinking of you.


There aren't any posts about any closure between me and sharon because there WASNT any :(
That is one of the hardest things to get over...actually, i'm not getting over any of this because there was no closure, no ending. It still, for me, remains raw & open & HURTING.

Hi pilgrim.

Is really surprising to me, that Sharon didn't set things up so there was a gradual loosening of the to speak. The kind of therapy you were having is particularly intimate...and to just cut if off, is like a death happening.

I guess I just don't get why she ended with you so abruptly. It feels abusive to me.

Take care.

It is very abusive. I once saw a therapist who was going to be moving and she gave me 2 months notice. It was still hard, but I dealt with it so much better and we kept in touch via email and phone calls even after that.

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