Main » March 2005

March 24, 2005

It has been awhile :)

Hi all sorry it has been so long since my last update-I was having computer problems then when I got those resolved I was having problems with this site-thank you Traci for helping me get back on track :)

I am still home on medical leave from my job-I go tommorow to have more blood work pulled. If it has came down then they will consider letting me go back to work-if not then I am still home :(. At first I was feeling so crummy that being home was not too bad. I still have days where I am glad I do not have to get up so early and I am grateful to be home but mostly I want to go back to work. Me being off is causing some tension in my home as my husband is resenting me being home all the time. I do not understand that at all. He acts like I am just being lazy. I do notwant him to feel as bad as I do but there are times when I think if he had to feel like this for as long as I have-he would whine way more than I do plus he would not be doing all of the home care that I am. It is odd-we got into an argument about it the other day and I am upset because he has three sisters and none of them work, I have only been home for a little over a month and he acts like it is a crime.

I signed up to take health care management online college courses because with a degree that will help me make more money if not at my current employers then with someone else. So I am taking college courses, working part time from home, and taking care of the children and the house so really I am just as busy if not more so than I was when I worked full time. I am just better able to pace myself now than what I was before.

I think part of it is the money situation. We are still working on our first million (LOL) and this definetly does not help. It is hard financially and emotionally for me to be off work this long. It is hard for me to deal with at all because I hate to admit anything has me "whipped" but at the same time I know and have finally accepted that part of the problem is I do not listen to my body at all. If I want to get better or at least come to some form of acceptance of this illness then I have to make better choices as far as listening to what my body is telling me. I am happy to say I am doing that-when my body says nap time, I do not even fight it anymore, I stop what I am doing and lay down for a little while. This has been a wonderful discovery for me. If I do that for my body then my body repays me in kind by having more energy when I get up and by letting me do more instead of dragging through the day unable to complete anything.

Back to work I go-I am working part time from home and this has been a big help also.

Until then-keep smiling :)

Posted by Lisa at 7:37 AM | Comments (1)

March 10, 2005

Bad day

I am tired all over. My mother has been in the hospital all week and it is really hard because she needs me as most of my family is contagious and can not be at her side. This coupled with the fact that I have been feeling good lately until today. Today I have been achy, sore, fevered, flaring again,tired and just gneral maliase.

I was reading an article regarding lupus and epstein barr virus. It does seem like a lot of people dx'd with lupus at one point in their life was also dx'd with epstein barr.

A couple of years before all of this started I was dx'd with epstein barr and I know how dragged down I felt-it was horrible. I felt so sick and weak and tired, yet it is noting compared to how I have ben feeling today.

Talk about depressing-I was thinking REMISSION, but now I am thinking-not yet :(

This is so depressing. I am not much in the mood for writing but I wanted to stop and briefly update everyone.

Keep smiling :)

Posted by Lisa at 4:23 PM | Comments (1)

March 6, 2005

Morning has broken and taken my back

Wow-I am hurting hurting this morning. Mostly my back which unfortunately you need to move very well-LOL.

My daughter is being a hair model in a hair show today so I thought that would be good for her but now she wants me to stay with her the whole time (she is doing for a good friend of mine who has babysat her even) and I am not so sure how I will do at the mall for five hours-the lights are going to be the hardest part I guess. But we do things for our kids that no one else could get us to do so this may be one of those things and it may be good for me to get out of the house-who knows. But I do not want to let my daughter down.

So anyway-off to the shower to get ready and take her-may update tonite or at least do a joke :) Laughter is the best medicine and it is free even after co-pays.

Keep smiling :)

Posted by Lisa at 7:41 AM

March 4, 2005

Mixed emotional bag tonite

I woke up feeling pretty good again and was thrilled about that. Had a couple of visits from friends whos company I always enjoy and I was thrilled about that. Still felt pretty well, my friends oooh and ahhed over my bishops hat napkin fold that I perfected last night and it really was overall a great day. Then it went downhill-ever had one of those days where a day that starts out so promising suddenly ends so badly? If you haven't then welcome to my word and if you have you probaly already know where this is going.

Just went to the Cleveland Clinic on Tuesday-the doctor not a nurse not a receptionist but the doctor called me today. Some of my blood work apparently is not quite up to par and there are apparently now some concerns over my heart as well and I may have to see a cardiologist-we are going to wait four weeks run the blood again and then decide. So that brought me down, then I stayed up late to talk to my husband and we got into and arguement-mind you he argued while I cried and said I do not understand why he is talking like that-he said he was not going to "baby" me. Not to seem overly clingy but right now-I kinda need babied-I am scared, I do not want to have cardiac involvement with this-the stats on that are not too impressive to say the least. He ended up anging up on me then unplugging the phone there so as not to have to hear from me again tonite. I do not get it-I just want his support and love and yes to be babied-I want to feel cherished and protected right now-O feel alone and scared instead and that is the story of how my great day turned itself around.

Since I started this I have tried to be consistent and end with keep smiling however tonite I can not find one thing to smile about.
Oh wait-I just remembered my kids and my animals ok-Keep smiling :)

Posted by Lisa at 7:51 PM | Comments (2)

March 3, 2005

Talk about truth being stranger than fiction-LOL

Man Sues Coffee Shop for Ice Mocha Mishap
August 26, 2002 - Michigan, USA
After spilling an iced coffee beverage onto his lap while driving from a local coffee shop drive-through a Michigan man is now suing the shop for $800,000 in damages and mental anguish. The man claimed it was a "traumatic experience" that has negatively altered his life in many ways. He claims that he was unaware of the frigid temperature of his Ice Mocha or he would have taken better precautions with handling the beverage. The coffee shop owner said during our interview, "Anyone who doesn't know the temperature of a drink that has the word 'ice' in its name has much more important things to worry about than a moment of discomfort due to his own negligence. He sustained no physical harm, there were no damages to his vehicle or possessions except a brown stain on his pants, which I am sure is something he is used to."

Posted by Lisa at 10:35 AM

I feel good :)

A little James Brown anyone? LOL-I feel good and I knew that I would, I am having a good day, I feel good I feel like I will overcome the worst of these flares and I am feeling very optimistic today. I think I have caught up on some rest and that helps aswell as being able to work at home even if it is only for a few hours-I at least feel like I am being productive.

You know sometimes life is just hard-regardless of medical conditons or anything life just gets hard sometimes. I had a very good friend his name was Hans and he used to tell me some people were just too sensitive to live in this world as crazy as it gets. I think there is alot of truth in that. He committed suicide being one of the too sensitve to make it-this happened about ten years ago but I still think about im and that remark when life gets too hard. Life in itself is hard and when you have lupus or any other chronic medical condition it is easy to get caught up in it and let it define you-but today I am saying lupus does not define me it will not define me and I will stillfind things that I can do and enjoy and I will still suck every bit of life out of my life. I think I have reached a place of acceptance and am now ready to move forward and find a way to be me again just sowing the disease the respect it deserves but not allowing it to take over my entire life.

Keep smiling :)

Posted by Lisa at 10:20 AM | Comments (1)

March 2, 2005

Top Morons of 2004

Presenting the top morons of the year...

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from own his bank accounts.

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked at the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each man in the line-up to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power was applied.

After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong.

A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.

He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE ... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer

Posted by Lisa at 7:43 PM

What a relief to go to the doctor and be treated so well

I went to Cleveland Clinic yesterday and first of all left with a much better impresion of what rhuematologists are supposed to do secnondly left with a better respect for the medical profession and thirdly the doctor LISTENED to me. He said I do not have psoriatic arthritis-he said the dx was based sley on swollen joints and the obvious fact that I have psorasis. He said that I have fibromyalgia, rauynauds syndrome and he is pretty positive SLE lupus. He said he does not base all of his dx's simply on bloodwork as with auto immune disorders it does not work that way. He spent over an hour with me explaining the fibro, raynauds and what we are going to do to make a definitive dx of lupus-it was wonderful-he even wrote in my chart that I was physcoligcally (forgive spelling) sound!! He never thought it was in my head that alone made me adore im.

If anyone is near enough to Cleveland Clinic in Cleveland OH and needs a good rheumy I highly reccomend Dr John Carey. He really was a wonderful experience.

Other than that I have simply been sleeping alot, he explained that by saying with fibromyalgia you do not get restorative sleep-so you are always tired he is going to recommend to my primary doctor that she try amitripilyne at night (not sure if I spelled that right) but it is supposed to help with the sleep problems.

I am going to close here because surprise surprise I am ready for bed.

Anyway-keep smiling :)

Posted by Lisa at 7:36 PM | Comments (1)