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October 6, 2009

Tired depressed and miserable

I am in so much pain and I am at work. My neck, head, and left leg from the hip down hurt dreadfully. I looked in the mirror today and noticed I am getting my "mask" back. I hate seeing the black mask start to form on my face it seems it always brings a hospitalization flare up with it. I wish I may I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. I wish I could make this go away for ever and not have to deal with it anymore. It is worse because a friend of mine has a friend of hers that moved here that also has lupus and she is on disability for it and the two of them tell me "oh you should go on disability, oh you dont have to work, oh you would feel better if you stayed home"-BULL-that might work for her but it would kill me. I have no kids left at home, I have nothing to do all day but wait to die? I am only 40!!!! I am not done living yet. I am studying for my insurance exam and I have alot of plans still! This may be the hard way to do it but it is my choice!

Posted by Lisa at 4:46 PM | Comments (0)