Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team

May 14, 2006

a long, hard week.....

last week was long and difficult. a lot of anger surfaced. up to this point i haven't been able to really get in touch with my anger related to everything that has happened to me. i know i have anger but i've always directed it at the wrong people, mainly myself. i see that i'm very slowly getting in touch with my anger, actually rage, and i need to really work on directing it where it belongs. i'm going to try working on this with donna in the upcoming weeks. i'm very, very scared. it's not going to be easy.

i've also been getting in touch with some new memories and feelings. right now am i am so filled with shame. i think it's related to a memory i had yesterday while i was with donna. i haven't been able to eat anything in the past 24 hours. i don't want anything going in my body. i feel very dirty and damaged and so ashamed. i wish someone was with me to hold me, preferably donna, but i'm not even sure she would want to go near me. i'm afraid that even she would see how dirty i am.

it was a very long, hard week. and i'm not looking forward to starting a new week and going to school tomorrow.


Posted by Butterflyteam on May 14, 2006 06:12 PM


Memories do wreak havoc with our souls, don't they? Please remember that you are not who you were, and that what was done to you doesn't make you a bad person. I am on your side, no matter what. There is good on the other end of the memories. Hang in there and takea care.
The Real Me

Posted by: The Real Me at May 14, 2006 08:33 PM

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