April 06, 2006


Last night i got the news that my mom's mom had died. I don't even know her, but i know that my mom is sad. I don't understand love, but i understand caring about someone. I care about both of my parents. I feel sad, just knowing that my mom is sad and i can't be there to help comfort her.

I was watching a show on dementia last night since i had to be up anyway, stupid insomnia. I remember just sitting there and watching the people break off mid sentence, or looking like they were really thinking about something but nothing comes out. I go through that all the time. It happened to me yesterday while i was doing a verbal permission for contact. I couldn't remember the name of my caseworker, and she was standing right next to me. it wasn't just forgetting her name, i forgot why i was even calling. this sorta stuff literally happens to me all the time and it's very frustrating. Sometimes i feel really dumb even though i know that i'm not. Its hard for me to recall even the simplest things at times. I tried telling my psycologist that this is going on. His reply last time i saw him was *show me your mind*. It's been about 2 months since i went in and i am still very frustrated over it. How am i supposed to know where my mind is going, if i can't even remember a simple detail in the first place? Stuff that i could recall no prob 2 years ago. It's even everyday stuff i'm forgetting. I'm too young to be going through this.

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