March 2, 2005

I hope I'm posting this right

I have so much on my mind lately and no way to get it out.

I want my life to slow down. Just for a minute. I just want to sit and think for a minute. It's not fair that I can't do this. Why do I push myself so hard?

Today I was so tense and so tired and just so....everything...that I ate to comfort myself. I'm actually sick tonight. I hate when I do this! Just when I think I'm making progress, I go back to my old ways. Tonight I believe that I'll never lose weight. Not only that, I'm just going to keep gaining and gaining and gaining until I'm confined to my bed and have to be cut out of my house in order to appear on the Jerry Springer show.

Okay, not funny.

I really believe it could happen. I could just eat and eat until I'm a blobby, limb-less person lying in bed because I can no longer get up.

I really want to change. But wanting to change isn't enough anymore. I HAVE to change my actions. That's all there is to it.

Tomorrow is another day.

Hey, at least I'm not yanking my hair out anymore. *sigh*

There's too much in my head tonight to post anymore. I'll post again tomorrow night when things are clearer.

Until next time.

Posted by Cody on March 2, 2005 8:34 PM

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