April 16, 2005

Starting over again

Announcement to the world: "I'M NOT PERFECT."

I wish I could say that. I wish I could stop wanting to be perfect. Perfect should be a dirty word...in any language.

It's amazing how fast I went from one world of feeling to another. I went from never wanting to pull my hair out again to having to fight it every minute of every day...just like before.

I'm right back where I was before. Can I stop it this time? Before the pain gets really bad? Before I have to start wearing hats all the time again? Before I have to cut my hair? Before I have to start drawing my hair in with an eye pencil to cover the bald spots?

I swore I never would go back to this place. But I have. Here I am, I have a bald spot the size of a half dollar on one side of my head (underneath my hair), and a nickel size spot on the other side. It's ugly. Right now it's easy to hide, because I have so much hair. But it wouldn't take long to become 1/3 bald on my head again if I continue at that rate. I just hoped I wouldn't ever have to be here again.

CRAP Sammy is awake. Back later.

Posted by Cody on April 16, 2005 11:00 AM

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