July 14, 2005

The Firm Workout

It's been a while since I posted. Things have been busy here. I've started working out faithfully again which doesn't leave much time at night to play around on the computer.

My eyes have been itching something fierce lately and I haven't been able to figure out why, until I looked in the mirror. I've been pulling a LOT of eyelashes lately...and my eyes are itching from the new eyelashes growing in. DUH. Time to stop pulling eyelashes. It is really driving me crazy. No eyelashes pulled today. My eyes are very swollen and red from rubbing. Yuck. And they are still itchy.

I have been pulling my hair though. Not a lot. Just pretty regularly. I haven't even been making a conscious decision to stop myself. Why is that? I guess I am in some kind of "I don't care" state of mind. I hope to soon find my way back to the non-pulling phase...but it doesn't seem like it will come anytime soon. I'll keep trying though. Tomorrow I'll really make an effort to stop myself.

I have not made much progress in the weight loss department. I HAVE been making progress in the FIRM department though...I did my 8th workout tonight and it feels great. When I get to this point, I feel like I never want to stop. This time I hope to keep FIRM'ing...even if I have interruptions like Sammie being sick or me being sick.

I'm not sure what to say about my weight loss. I weigh about 241 right now. GOD that looks so ugly here on the screen. But I don't FEEL ugly. I know that I have weight to lose, but I no longer torture myself with those "fat and ugly" feelings. I know I have a lot to offer even though I'm not thin. (Even though I want to be thin again so bad that I can TASTE it and FEEL it...). So, that is some progress that I've made too. I've stopped torturing myself. Which actually had led to a lot less overeating. So I've managed to stop the gain. But, that's no longer enough for me.

I can't remember what else I wanted to talk about tonight. I don't feel very thoughtful tonight...so I guess I will end here. Until next time.

Posted by Cody on July 14, 2005 9:44 PM


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