August 12, 2005

Trich Memories

I didn't pull too much today. Today was pretty low-key and not much to stress about. I plan to have a really low-key weekend and just do things that Sammie enjoys (going swimming, playing dolls, playing games, etc.).

I was thinking back tonight to some of my worst trich memories. One is from high morning I was seriously stressing about a boy friend of mine. My mom and my sister were in my bedroom with me, and watching TV I think. I don't know why but I reached for my eyelashes and pulled a little. Right in front of my mom! Yikes. I think I was crying out for help a little bit at that point. Well, mom says: "Quit pulling out yer eyelashes! You sick or something?". I felt pretty stupid at that point and made some lame excuse about my eyes being itchy.

Then one time I had been surfing the net back at the office and my dad checked the history and found some hair-pulling sites. (He also found some porn sites that were pretty gross and also questioned me about them. NICE. Like I would like at that s^&%. It was probably his brother or employees, or crap, even himself. Anyways...). He said: "You don't pull YOUR hair out do you?". I could tell he was thinking "OH GOOD LORD please don't let my normal daughter turn out to be a FREAK.". Of course I denied it, claiming that someone had sent me the links for a college term paper (I was in college at the time).

Does anyone yet wonder why I despise my parents and do not trust them? Heh heh.

Then one other time we were at a concert for some kind of youth gathering and this boy who was really dorky and always hovering over me shouted "She's going bald on top!" after hovering over me from behind. What an idiot. I didn't say anything to that one. I'm sure everyone around me knew it was true anyways. That was in high school.

I'm sorry if I've already posted once about these memories. I've been posting here for a year now, so it's time for me to start repeating myself! :-)

Then one time my college boyfriend wanted me to meet him at this coffee house in the city. It was weird...since we never just "met" anywhere...we usually went to each other's houses. I couldn't figure it out...turns out he had set up a meeting with a psychologist friend of his who wanted to meet me to discuss my trich. NICE. I never showed up to that one. Too bad his friend never got to meet this "specimen".

So, those are just some random thoughts I've had lately. It's nice to get those out of my head for now.

Until next time!

Posted by Cody on August 12, 2005 9:45 PM


That is SOOO typical of mom and dad. I am SOOO not surprised. GRRRR> pisses me off. :(

Sorry for the assholes that you've met along the way.

There is NOTHING to be embarassed or ashamed for for pulling your hair. Course, I've always done it too, eyelashes and eyebrows. But still. Remember a few years ago telling you about my young friend Jenny? I didn't think there was anything wrong with her. I couldn't understand the other teachers making mean remarks. So she pulled her hair--- WHO CARES? I didn't see how this affected her as a person, her worth, or anything. I gave her a couple of cute hats and if she ever wanted to talk about it, we did.
I SOOOOO do not understand what the big deal some people make out of things. So you pull your hair. So what? Some people bite their nails. Some people pick their nose. Some people have twitches. Some people have OCD. Some people have DID.
Big deal!
/end soapbox

Hi...I'd like to ask you if your eyelashes and eyebrows still grow in after all those years of pulling? I have been doing it since I was in grade 6 and now i'm 28 and I have decided to let them grow in. For a while I gave up but I don't want to be like this anymore. I am also scared now because now that I am actually trying, they seem to not een be growing in. It's taking me all there is in me to not pull..and I'm doing well...but I worry that maybe i've caused permanent damage already. Does your hair still grow? If you or anyone can answer this for me, I would love to hear.
I wish there had been more understanding of this problem when I was young. It's been hell my entire life...mind you I've had a lot of good times during my years. But's it's always been HIDING from it. I'm sick of hiding. I want to be free from this. Thank you.

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