September 21, 2005

Still not pull free...but I have other good news

I've still been pulling my hair here and there. I think I have had more than five pull free days sprinkled in, but I honestly haven't been paying much attention. :-)

My husband and I just found out two weeks ago that we are pregnant with our second baby! :-) I had been keeping our secret pretty well, not telling anyone that we were even trying. I did this for a couple of reasons:

1. I was afraid that there would be residual effects from Sammie's birth that would not allow me to have other children. I didn't want other people to know we were trying because they would ask questions and it would be un-needed pressure.

2. My parents. I don't think they wanted any grandchildren...and to announce that we were trying for another would be really crappy and it would have hurt me to see their reaction. So, for more fun and more effect, we just out and tell them that we're pregnant. Ya-hoo! Fun for everyone.

My parents are one of the few people in this world (at least that I know of) that would consider children being an inconvenience. Like when I told my mother, she said something un-positive, to which I replied: "Gosh, you guys act like my children are an inconvenience". and she says: "No no no, we just don't want them to be an inconvenience to YOU." No worries, mommy. My life revolves around my new family. Unlike you and that person we never called daddy, I and my mate do not have "other things" that we want to do. We do not want to be on bowling leagues, we do not want to go to hoity-toity association parties, and we do not want to do other people. ;-) (Okay, that was rotten). My children are and will continue to be my life. They won't be here forever. Unlike you, I want to cherish every moment with my babies. And I want to love them and create memories because someday, I will need their love and memories in return. I want to create genuine relationships based on truth and reality and honesty and saying "I love you". My family will not be YOUR family. And I, for one, am forever grateful that I'VE been chosen to break the cycle. I'm a real times two. And I will thank the Lord for that everyday.

The timing is perfect in my mind for having a new baby. Sammie will be three in a few she will be almost 3 1/2 when the baby comes. Sammie has changed so much just during the summer. She still needs me quite often, but more often now she wants to do things herself as she becomes more independent. I know she'll be a great help with the baby.

I'm also finally confident enough in my parenting abilities (after running a bit of a gauntlet with Sammie) to know that I have the tools, the patience, and the love, to be the mommy of two. Even if both are high-needs. :-D I know I'm NOT my mother. And I never will be. I'll continue to grow in love and patience with the second baby too.

The only things I am worried about are: My weight. My weight right now is really high and it would probably be best if I gained only 5-15 pounds with this baby. I know that I can do it and that I am in control of my eating. I'm giving it my best shot. If I gain only 15 pounds with this baby, I will still come out ahead of where I was when Sammie was born. (I gained seventy pounds with Sammie). So that is my goal. My second worry is the post-partum depression. I want to be prepared to handle it should it come and have tools at my disposal. I've read "Down Came The Rain" by Brooke Shields and I have a lot more information on this subject now. Plus I plan to talk to my doctor about it at our first appointment.

Being pregnant the second time is so interesting. I want to enjoy it since I feel this will be my last pregnancy. I'm so anxious to hear the baby's heartbeat, to feel the baby move, to see the baby at our first ultrasound. I want time to go by fast in that respect. But also, I want time to slow down, since the days of it being just "Sammie and Me" are coming to a close...and soon it will be the three of us.

Until next time.

Posted by Cody on September 21, 2005 9:17 PM


*~*Happy Dance*~*

You are already such a great mommy, and with 2 kids its going to be twice as wonderful! I can't wait!
And now I'm going to be a double aunt, with double the kids to spoil and buy presents for, and an extra kid to love, and its just going to make my heart fill up even more.... this is SOOOOOO EXCITING!!! :)

Hi. First I would like to say congratulations on a new baby. I was also afflicted with trichotillomania. I started when I was in the fourth grade, but i grew out of it. I hope you can recover too. Its so refreshing to see someone write about freely.

Hello. I have quite the same problem and I realize that I need to stop it now. I had tried to stop but fail. I stop pulling 2 or 3 days and I pull it again :(

let's stop this habit together... i write down my progress here:


hey Cody. Congratulations. I've had the honor of knowing your sister for a few years now. Congratulations. We're both going to be Aunties again. Theres a little "bun in the oven" of my cousin, over here in england. Wot an obscure phrase huh? must be english. Just think of those children growing up. I said to your sister one time, just think of S's graduation... or her 21st... or... And now we've got another little one to look forward to. S is pretty much the same age as one of my nephews D. As for the overeating (I know that one...) a lot of it is to do with breaking 'habit's' Just a note as well, my cousin suffered crippling PND after her first child, her second had some but it was controlled, the third and Wow she's fantastic. For the first time in years she is radiant... It's just a matter of getting things tuned in. How many months along are you? Congratulations, you have overcome.

Thanks everyone for your comments! It's so nice to see feedback from my diary.

I'm 9 weeks along now and my tummy is showing despite the belly fat. We are due around May 10 to May 17th. :-)

I am so excited. Thanks everyone for being excited for me!

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