Pulling too much again

First of all, thanks to all the people who have commented on my posts. It makes me feel good to hear from all of you! I don't have that much time these days to read everything, or to post as much, but I do try.

Judy...I hope your mom is doing okay? Thanks for sharing in our excitement! :-)

We are due around May 10th or May 17th. We'll know more after our ultrasound in January.

I am so excited about this baby. I just can't say that enough times. My belly is starting to show now even with the belly fat. I can't wait till I'm REALLY showing that people will KNOW that I'm pregnant, not just getting gaining weight 'round my middle. :-)

I have been trying to eat well which is easy because most sweet things now make me very sick. Most of the time my appetite is non-existent, although I do get really hungry at night. I try to eat very high protein items, since that's all I'm really hungry for anyways. The only thing I could really do bad on right now is cheeseburgers from Burger King. They taste so good; it's like heaven on a bun. I try to have only one every two weeks. I can't think of anything else that tastes really good right now. I've already been through my chicken broth/noodle soup phases (same as I did with Sammy) and now I'm getting through the really hard part...the 9th-14th weeks where I remember being very sick with Sammy. It's hard since I feel nauseous from the time I get up to the time I go to bed (with breaks sometimes in between) and sometimes even during the night. I feel sick after eating almost anything, no matter how much I enjoyed actually eating it. Weird huh?

I haven't been able to work out at night because I am so fatigued by then. Anyone who has been pregnant would understand this mind-numbing fatigue that comes with the first trimester. It almost cannot be explained. It's as though the only thing you can do is stare into space and lay down. I don't even want to look at the TV...that's how tired I get. Which is really hard when you have a two year old to entertain! :-)

We are really happy though...and I'm going through one of the happiest times of my life right now. I know there will be many rough patches, but like I said, my confidence is high. I KNOW that I am a good mother now. There is not a doubt in my mind. I do sometimes miss the quiet times of my life, like in 2000 or 2001, when I was alone much of the time. It was just me, my horses, and my cats. I would work in the office alone and come home to a quiet house. The dog and I would go for a walk in the woods alone. I would ride my horses and there wouldn't be anyone to watch me. It sounds lonely, but I miss that quietness sometimes...and the oppurtunity to just sit and think about my life. I know that someday I'll go through another quiet part of my life...it may not be for 20-25 years but I know it will come. And then I'll need the memories that I'm making today.

However, I've been pulling pretty frequently, especially from the top of my head. I'm trying hard to stop today. I miss my hair being beautiful...even if I didn't do anything with it. I"m going to try and not pull the rest of today. I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks again everyone.

Posted by Cody on October 21, 2005 9:57 AM