March 8, 2006

No pulling

How long has it been since I've pulled? I've lost track of the days again. That's okay. My urges have been less and less each day. Lately I haven't even had the urge to touch my hair. Usually at night I feel like I NEED TO sit down on the couch and search through my hair for the split ends so that I can pick them off. I haven't done this for the past three days. Doing that can easily lead to pulling anyways, so it's better that I don't.

I started searching through my hair for split ends when I was 11 or 12. I would sit for hours, just searching through my hair and picking off the split or broken ends. I remember when I found a hair that was split about 12 times. I remember how exciting that was for some reason. I think I even showed it to my sister. (ha ha!). This was at least 3-4 years before I actually pulled. Isn't that weird? It's like even then, picking the split ends off was very relaxing to me. I would even do it while sitting in the classroom.

But I've seen other girls do this too. And they didn't seem to have a problem with pulling the hairs out. What is it that made my desire morph into something uglier? Doesn't seem fair. I would still like to be able to sit and break off the split ends without even thinking about it, just enjoying it, but I can't do that anymore. Because it's one more step to pulling.

Well, that's all I really have to say. Life is very busy right now and I'm tired. My son is really pressing into my ribs today and it's somewhat uncomfortable to sit. Did I mention I have less than 1/3 of this pregnancy to go? I'm anxious....I'm very tired of being pregnant. Tired of the exhaustion and being so bloated. Ah well.

Until next time!

Posted by Cody on March 8, 2006 10:14 AM

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