Hairpullers...do NOT give up on yourself

Thanx Cody. I needed that...

I'll wipe my tears, and promise to make another effort, 'cause I so desperately want to stop.
I long to not worry about weather conditions like wind and rain. And to swim, and have head under water, amongst other people, and not to ever worry about my bald patches showing. No one, except my mum, knows I pull, and even she knows only half the truth, if you know what I mean?

I actually manage to "psyche" myself up every 5 weeks to go and have my hair cut. Yes, by a hair dresser. Have had my hair cut by the same hair dresser for several years and she hasn't actually commented on the bald patches, she only seems to think that I have thin hair in certain places. But I should add that every time I go I usually waffle on about everything and nothing at the same time; ANYTHING to keep her preoccupied and to lead her away from any eventual comments about my hair (or lack of it! ha-ha... not..!)

I'm so nervous before going, and every time I have this back-up speach prepared in case she questions me about it. But so far, so good.

I'll stay tuned, so you might hear from me later.
Again, thanx for your message Cody - it really touched me!
Love 'n' hugs from Lisa in Norway... xxx

Hi Lisa

You are very brave to go to the hairdresser! You probably know from my blog that I NEVER go. I've been too scared since when I was 18 I was almost ridiculed out of the hairdresser's shop. So good for you for going! I just wanted to say that I'll bet anything that your hairdresser sees people with hair like that all the time. That's why she doesn't say anything. The nature of trich is to make us feel that we're the ONLY ones who do it. But there are SO MANY people out there who do! It may be so much more common than we think.

Don't give up, and treat yourself well. You can grow and learn from trich, instead of letting it tear you down. You're worth so much more! :-)

Sincerely,
Cody

Hi... umm... I'm 17 years old and have been pulling my hair out since I was 7. 10 long years... wow, just saying it makes me wince. I am what Psychiatrists call a Trychophager... meaning... well... you're gonna think this is gross and it's okay if you do... everyone does... I eat the roots of my hair. I've done THAT for about 8 years. I remember when I started eating the roots... I did it because I thought that by some magical ritual I might be able to stop pulling. So, I pulled out three hairs and bit off the ends where the root was. It didn't work... my Trich is so bad I have to wear a wig because I pulled out almost all of my hair. I shaved the rest off to keep from pulling anymore but it didn't stop me... I still pulled the tiny hairs out with my nails. I don't chew on my nails, I like them long... however, I had to cut them to keep from pulling, but that didn't work either! I just bloodied my fingers because I was so desperate and cracked what little nails I had left. People at school hate me... I'm officially the "outcast" of the whole school... It's been that way as long as I can remember. Oh, I've always gotten a few friends... but, not many. And lately I haven't had any because I went through a period in my life where I got so depressed I isolated myself completely from my two friends and refused to answer their calls... I got angry with them and fought with them when they only showed concern for me... they left angry and thinking I used them... and it hurts to think about that... cause, now I only have one friend left... Michael. He's been my friend for three years now. He's never... not once said a bad thing about me wearing a wig... and I don't trust a lot of people. I remember telling him the first day I met him I wore a wig and pulled out my hair. I said, "I pull my hair out and my hair's not real. It's a wig. And if that bugs you, fine. You can just run away screaming. Are you going to run away?" and he just smiled at me and said, "I'm too lazy to run away. Besides, I don't mind." and it made me feel shy and sad all of a sudden... that's when I knew I loved him. Heh... the first day I met him I knew. Anyways, I read your story and wanted to say that I admire your courage and the fact that you're doing so well! I'm sorry about your horse... he sounded like a wonderful animal. I doubt I'll ever be as brave as you and the others who battle Trich every day. I'm just not strong enough. There was a period of time where my hair grew out and I was so very proud... I loved it... but, the next thing I knew there was a little bald spot that soon grew into a massive growing one... kept growing and growing... I am an all out puller I guess you could say... I pull everywhere that there's hair... legs, armpits, eyebrows, eyelashes, scalp, arms, stomach, etc. I take medicine for my Depression and I suppose it should help my Trich, but I don't think it is... I have no idea how to stop. I don't think I can.

my name is lindsay and im 15 and ive been pulling my hair since i was 6.i used to knot it then rip it out.then i stopped for about 4 or 5 months.And quite recently ive been pulling the split ends so that my hair has many fly aways and is very embarassing.My hair has been shoulder length since i was 7.ive never pulled a bald spot but i did make one side longer than the other so i had to cut it even shorter.While im in class all i do is sit there and pull my split ends.ive never pulled my eyelashes or eyebrows or any other area.my parents wont let me take any kind of pill and we dont know how to stop this.does anyone have any ideas?

hay im lily from australia. ive been pulling out my eyelashes for quite some time now and every time i do it, i completely regret it. i get in trouble and ive tried everything. do i have a problem? or is it a really difficult habbit to get rid of like nail biting. i need desperate advice and id appreciate it immensely. is there any treatments that make the hair folicles grow back faster? thanks a million

hi there
im jess, 21 from sydney and have been pulling out my hair for longer than i can remember. im thinking abt buying a wig, i havent been to the hairdressers in over a year because the last one made me cry when they teased me abt going bald. i have a small bald spot, not too noticable, but noticable enough that i have to wear my hair up all the time to cover it. i hate myself for doing this.

Hi, I have been pulling my hair out for about 12 years... I pull it out strand by strand and basically chew it!>? Its disgusting I know but at one point i was bald around the section behind my ears... As a result my hair is now very very thin and lank... I didnt visit hair dresser for 8 years... I dont 'pull' so much these days but im guessing on account of a busy profession and simply not having time... My pulling is at its worst when watching TV. So I advise everyone to keep busy and hopefully the need to pull will in time subside as it has for me... Keep positive.

Alixxx

hi. i've been twisting, and chewing on my hair since i was a child and in high school i started actual pulling of it. my mom plays with her hair too. i think she also may pull it out. we're both very worrisome people.
i also pull my eyelashes..but thats because i get this sensation that they are tangled together and it annoys me and i cant stop. but i only pull from certain areas on my head. behind my left ear and at the crown. i really have no idea why. are there any specific areas that any of you only seem to pull from? i wish i knew why i did that and could stop. i like having cool hairstyles but its starting to get in the way of me being able to do that.

Hello everyone,

My name is Heather and I am 31 years old, I've been pulling and chewing on my hair since I was 12. I have been fortunate to be blessed with very thick hair, I have learned to pull underneath the layers of hair so it is easier to hide the damage. Sometimes the bald spots do get bad enough that I have to wear my hair up to cover them or color in the bald spots with an eye pencil. I have had periods in my life where I didn't pull even for a year or two at a time, but it always comes back.

I am so disappointed in myself I had my hair completly grown out and looking gorgeous and now I'm back to hiding bald spots. I don't know If I will ever be able to stop.

My daughter is nine and I worry about her picking it up. Sometimes she notices me pulling and I am so embarrassed that I allowed her to see it. I just want to hide under a rock. My husband and I are very happy, but he doesn't understand and it hurts him too. If anyone has advise I would love to hear it.

Heather

My co-worker will not stop twisting her hair...is this a problem

Hello my name is Maria,and Im from Poland.My trich start with age 5,first i pull my eyelashis,after hair.The same symptoms,eating the ruts of the hair.Ironically when i finish the pre school i go to study hairdresser:) so I always lie to my freands that my hair bern from the 'Biondella' from the back of my head.Sorry for my grammar.
I just have this urge to write to you all ppl from over the world,to tell you that.Yes when i got merryge and give a birth to a beautyfull girl ,and i left Poland i just stop.Stop pulling .Now is 20 years nearly when my hair are beautyfull and long.But sametimes i have needs to pull and eat from my virgina when i see thim ,but prefering to have nothing there to not make me want it:)
Now im working on my self realisation,I have big problem with sense of security,with trast that im loveble person.My relation with man sux,iven that i have no problem with geting whom i want.My work start now,with in,and i found alot of rubbish there.But i think what stop me pulling the hair in the ferst places it was the sense of secutity and acceptanse what my husband give me in 100%. Ofcourse i know now after divorce that acceptance and security is inside me,and he only show me a moonlight(the sun i got it).But what ever i learn,and im with all my heart with you guys.NEVER GIVE UP,TRUST IN YOUR SELF,TRUST IN YOUR SELF AND AGAIN TRUST IN YOUR SELF.
Dont give up trust becouse you do samething what you dont want to do.This your body not you.Observe your body,love your body,talk to your body,respect your body.Its only what you have in this earth:) the closest to you,the nearest to you.You'r body.
I love you guys,and sending you huge amout of good energy and LOVE.

Hi uh...my name is Tray and I've been pulling my hair for about a year now. I can't seem to stop, no matter what I try. I get weird looks from everyone I meet and even my friends and family! I'm so sick of thinking up stories to tell people why I wear bandanas all the time. And I'm running out of I don't know...strength? I can't stop myself...I'm so far into depression that even though I sit and consciously know I'm pulling my hair and that I should stop...I can't. And then I just feel even worse. At first...it wasn't bad. If my head itched, I'd only pull in that one spot. Then it started to gradually get worse, like I would target the back of my head, then the side behind my ear. Then before I even knew I had a problem, there was bald spots everywhere. Just recently it's gotten worse. Almost half my scalp is bald and the scary thing is...I'm doing it in my sleep now. I've tried sleeping with bandanas, hoodies, beanies, and ball caps but no matter what I go to bed with on my head, I wake up with a pile of hair on my pillow or the floor. I can't do anything comfortably now. When I go out I'm always self concious and wondering what people are thinking as they look at me. I hate myself for it and no matter how bad I want to stop and no matter how hard I've tried to, I just can't. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to live with this anymore. I was so glad I found this thread...and as silly as it sounds, I would love to chat with some one like me...because for a while, I thought I was the only one. I would just like some one to tell me I'm not a freak and that I can get better. It gives me incredibly low self confidence...I'm afraid to talk to guys even. I only imagine what they must be thinking about me to see me with a bandana all the time. Can some one help me? Because from what I've seen...I can't help myself.

Tray *murakisaddict@aol.com*

Hi! I'm Jessie, I'm 14 years old and i have been pulling my hair since the beginning of 6th grade and now i am a sophomore at Claremont High School. i hate pulling out my hair it makes me feel different which is good, but how it makes me feel different is not a good way to feel different.
i use to get laughed at in 6th grade for having little bald spots on my head which made me feel less confident in myself, and 6th grade you should feel confident in yourself because you are changing in that time period. all my friends left me because i pulled my hair and i didn't have beautiful hair like everyone else. My best friend of 7 years left because she couldn't be scene with me, and that made me go crazy!!!
I am now in 10th grade and almost fully recovered i go to therapy to talk to my psychiatrist because i cant really talk to anyone else. i am getting better with my hair pulling and all i have to say is DON'T GIVE UP!!!!
if i could go through that bad patch in my life so can everyone else and trust me i have very low self esteem. believe in yourself as much as you can...
or everything will feel like its crashing down on top of you....
P.s. GOOD LUCK!!!!
<3 always gorJess!

hey am 16 years old and have been plucking out my hair for almost 10 years. i never thought it was strange till a few months ago when i read some article. i guess am in denial cos i still dont think its wrong cos it helps me relax and stay focused. i have never pulled out loads of hair i just pluck random single hairs from my head and chew the roots.

Hi, my name is Andrea and I am 17 years old. I think that I have been pulling my hair out since I was in sixth grade, maybe fifth. I remember that I was watching tv one day, and my mom was in her room crying (she did that a lot) and I just started touching my hair and finding "bad ones" that I HAD to get rid of. It's like the "bad ones" are damaged and if I get them out, I'll look better. I know this reasoning is kinda dumb because now I know that I'd rather have ugly hair than no hair at all. I have very little hair, but it's wavy so it looks like i have more.

I usually pull from the top of my head, anywhere near the forehead to the back. My most noticeable bald spot is on the left side of the upper back of my head. I used to pull there because I thought no one would notice, but then I shifted up more toward the top, and now my friends notice, and I just say that I've always had it. When I was younger I used to even pull the hair on my knees. I only sometimes do that now, when I have ingrown hairs. I am also very picky about my eyebrows. I have been plucking them every day since seventh grade because I am obsessed with the way they look. They always have to be just right.

I don't think random people notice that I pull. I try to be very careful about it. I used to pick up from the floor all the hair that I pulled and make like little balls of hair and throw them away. Then, i got lazier and would just scatter them around the floor so no one would notice. But, my mom noticed and said she would take me to a psychologist if I didn't stop. I went to a psychologist a couple of times because of my pulling combined with the divorce problems, but I always lied. I lied very well.

As I got older I started to put some pieces together, and I don't know if I am right, but it would make sense. I think that my grandmother pulled her hair, and so does my aunt. My grandmother always wore a wig because she barely had any hair, and my aunt has a huge bald spot on the top of her head which she covers up kinda like me, with a long side part. If my theory is correct, then maybe it would prove that genetics are involved in trich, and maybe we could fix it. I also believe that some traumatic experience (or a series of them) has to trigger the trich in a person because, that I know of, my father, uncles, and cousins don't pull their hair.

I have always had a weird reaction to going to a hairdresser, or letting anyone play, touch, or comb my hair since I started pulling. Only a very select group of people know of my pulling, like my closest friends and my boyfriend. I think my sister knows and maybe my mom remembers, and they once told my dad, but I lied as usual. They probably think that I stopped.

I wish I could stop pulling the hair on my head because I want to wear my hair a different way and I don't want to be worried about people noticing or seeing me pull. I don't think that I can stop, doing it is a part of me.