March 4, 2005

Mixed emotional bag tonite

I woke up feeling pretty good again and was thrilled about that. Had a couple of visits from friends whos company I always enjoy and I was thrilled about that. Still felt pretty well, my friends oooh and ahhed over my bishops hat napkin fold that I perfected last night and it really was overall a great day. Then it went downhill-ever had one of those days where a day that starts out so promising suddenly ends so badly? If you haven't then welcome to my word and if you have you probaly already know where this is going.

Just went to the Cleveland Clinic on Tuesday-the doctor not a nurse not a receptionist but the doctor called me today. Some of my blood work apparently is not quite up to par and there are apparently now some concerns over my heart as well and I may have to see a cardiologist-we are going to wait four weeks run the blood again and then decide. So that brought me down, then I stayed up late to talk to my husband and we got into and arguement-mind you he argued while I cried and said I do not understand why he is talking like that-he said he was not going to "baby" me. Not to seem overly clingy but right now-I kinda need babied-I am scared, I do not want to have cardiac involvement with this-the stats on that are not too impressive to say the least. He ended up anging up on me then unplugging the phone there so as not to have to hear from me again tonite. I do not get it-I just want his support and love and yes to be babied-I want to feel cherished and protected right now-O feel alone and scared instead and that is the story of how my great day turned itself around.

Since I started this I have tried to be consistent and end with keep smiling however tonite I can not find one thing to smile about.
Oh wait-I just remembered my kids and my animals ok-Keep smiling :)

Posted by Lisa on March 4, 2005 7:51 PM

Comments

I feel for you I have SLE and i can't really write too much to you right now cause my eyes are teary..but i do know if your husband could feel 1/2 oz of the daily pain you deal with he would be in tears too...not all of us have someone else to travel the "Lupus Trip" with them when you said feel alone and scared of course it sent me to tears..i know how that feels..you can visit my blog at mixednutzcrafts.tripod.com/craftcrazy don't give up

Posted by: michelle at March 6, 2005 12:31 AM

Hi I wanted to thank the last post written I felt like you were writing to me. I was diagnosed with Lupus August 31st 2004 and have been in flares all the time pain all the time. I am learning to listen to my body and rest some days I can do nothing but stay in bed from the computer to the bed. I wanted to post to thank you for sharing what you did. It is a hard thing to except but we have to except it then we can live better. Thanks again my story is on my website.

Posted by: Angela at June 15, 2005 1:27 PM