August 13, 2005

Dragging Myself Onward Through the Haze

I've been faithful to the Energy Medicine treatment I began in December 2004. I really expected to be finished with this treatment many months ago. Actually I expectd to be cured by now. I think even the project leader expected it to be over many months ago. We must be a tough group. Or…this is a tough illness. It is not only the one bacterial infection that needs to be beaten but also many opportunistic bacteria that are only happy to invade a weakened body. Just ask an HIV patient. Not to be put in with the same seriousness as HIV. Wait…yeah, come to think of it, it is as serious.

Recently our energy group leader cut us off without any notice. He said that he decided to give us a week without the energy broadcasts and see how we do. I really don’t feel much different. He told us that we have had some reversal of benefit. I am feeling annoyed and wanting to quit, but if this is doing me any good at all – then I want to continue. The only good Lyme bug is a dead one. My energy medicine leader says – “still plenty bugs to go”; “only about half way there”. Halfway where? Is he asking me to believe that in another 8 months I will be cured? I’m too demoralized for that.

Recently, my doctor gave me a homeopathic treatment, which lasted a month. One little vial of strong alcohol tasting stuff I drank every three days. I didn’t feel much during the time I was taking it. It seems to be another faith-based treatment. I believe it helped to some degree. I have believed in it all. The list of failures is impressive. Such a long, long dismal journey.

Posted by Laureen on August 13, 2005 2:42 PM