January 30, 2006
The Daniel Fast
Well today I started the “Daniel Fast” from Elmer L. Towns book: Fasting for Spiritual Break Through, a guide to nine biblical fasts. This fast is for health and physical healing (Dan. 1:12-20) when we fast for physical well-being, God will touch our bodies and enrich our souls. (As stated in Mr. Towns’ book.)
I filled out the contract in the book, signed and dated it to last from today through February 5th, 2006. Officially I had stopped much earlier than Midnight but kept it simpler with that start time.
The day so far began with a walk outside with the dogs, back upstairs where I opened the sliding glass door to let the wind outside blow into the apartment for some kind of symbolic cleansing. I put in “walk away the pounds” got my blood moving then sat down to take of day one, baseline after putting in “The Passion of Christ” a movie I’ve had for some time but haven’t had the strength to watch. I grew up Episcopalian, and anyone who knows about that weird word knows it’s the “looser” version of Catholics, to put a non-formal spin on the deeper dogmatic differences! I attended Episcopalian church, went to Catholic school and finished up my Sundays at my Great Grandmother’s Southern Baptist Church. I’ll say the only thing missing back then was a Buddhist bent somewhere. No worries the eastern religious intricacies arrived later in life. It’s particularly hard to avoid theology with such a background, or possibly just being me. Even by horoscope I was born completely in the middle of two very interesting signs. Aquarius and Pisces. Yes they call it a cusp, but officially according to the exact moment I was born I was born at 000.00 degrees Pisces, just before the planets transited. All the Aquarian people I meet become infuriated by my inexplicable “intuition” on things, the accompanying affects I seem to have on people, and then the Piscean people find me excruciatingly analytical. Somehow where I am suits me just fine spiritually. My physical world is rather confusing from the outside world as well, but for me it makes sense and is as exhaustive and changeable as the waters of any great Lake or body of water.
I’m off on a tangent again, even though it really does matter as far as I’m concerned. I can think of nothing more important in my life, than my spirituality. It drives me in all aspects. The more my faith strengthens, and I believe this to be something that continues to grow and change for the better in most people, the less control I seem to need in life. It’s like getting on a roller coaster without knowing the end or how long till the end but getting on nonetheless! I remember using the breaks in my coaster car before, only to find these days those levers are completely missing.
Anyways, The Passion of the Christ, since I was a little girl and walked the stations of the cross I remember bawling my eyes out and wailing to my parents discomfort at the treatment of Jesus. I always wanted them to stop, every time I walked the stations until eventually I found myself less and less inclined to attend church where the characters I met seemed less and less spiritual, while becoming more and more like the Pharisees. The concerns of the way a church looked or how the parish dressed left me feeling cold and alone in a place that should have held warmth and understanding in my mind. I was set to become a nun when I left high school, not catholic necessarily but one in some order that I felt would utilize my abilities in the best possible manner for the world. Alas it was not to be. I met many nuns at that Catholic college who told me up front about the way you’d serve “The Church” and it discouraged me greatly. I prayed and attended chapel daily, despite the typical collegian atmosphere. Everyone around me was looking to get drunk, get out of class, or get laid. There were many also looking for the drugs and yes they were readily available at this private catholic college! I wanted higher learning and spiritual guidance, instead I found very few people concerned with much more than what was being served for dinner at the Quad cafeteria. It changed my life.
I think that left me weary of churches ever since.
Weird, didn’t realize I’d end up here today.
It’s 10:30 PM and I’m just now feeling some sensations of hunger. It’s not a “ravenous” feeling just a small emptiness. I haven’t had any water yet because I’m waiting for a major “thirst” response. I haven’t been especially active today so that might have something to do with it. In less than 2 hours we’ll be into day 2 of the Fast. I haven’t had TV on all day but when I did turn it on, nothing but food ads. They used to make me really hungry, now they almost go by before I realize they’re on. Tivo helps!
The dogs’ dinner was short lived today. The little guy didn’t eat his dinner for the 3rd day. The girl didn’t eat hers because I didn’t put any liquid on it and it was dry. So as soon as they both walked away dog food got picked up for both of them and I guess they’re doing somewhat of the fast with me. I didn’t look at them or talk to them about it. Little boy’s making a meal out of the rawhide stick, but that will be all gone tomorrow. Their dad still wants me to put broth on their food, but I think we need to get the basics back down before we move on.
Well I guess that’s about it for today. We’ll see how tomorrow goes. 168 hours –23, leaves another 145 to go.