How I Feel

I have a surgery date. It's August 5th. A Thursday.

Of course I'm scared.

It's major surgery. My fibroids are too large to remove laprosocpically without hormone treatment.

The uterus will be removed through a bikini incision leaving my ovaries, tubes and cervix in place.

At the moment this decision means that I'm hyper aware of everything going on in my belly. I just ovulated and I made a note of what that feels like, that little pinch, the discharge that accompanies it. That maybe be my last ovulation with a uterus. Will it be different when it's gone? Of course.

I'm married. I have a wonderful loving relationship and I don't want that to change. Of course with a hysterectomy, I never have to worry about an unplanned pregnancy. That seems like a plus. No periods - that means one more week available for lovemaking.

But let's face it, orgasms are tricky things. Even though I'm not having a total hysterectomy, they're leaving the cervix, I worry that intercourse will be different. Just having a catheter can give some women clitoral numbness that can last for months. How much am I willing to risk just to be more comfortable? What if I can't have intercourse comfortably again? What I can't feel anything again? The uterus is involved in some orgasms, contracting along with many other muscles in the body and pelvis.

How fulfilling would my sex life be for the rest of my life if I couldn't give my husband the pleasure of pleasing me?

He, of course, is ultra supportive of this procedure and promises that nothing will change between us and we will only grow stronger and closer through this experience.

Any questions or feedback? Feel free to email me.

Posted by Elizabeth M. on July 4, 2004 3:58 PM