April 17, 2005
I am so disappointed in my body and my power of will! I am hurting all over and was up and down all night last night with a fever again which is signaling a relapse. I do know my body well enough now after dealing with this for over a year to know that I am getting ready for a flare. I am equally certain that the stress from my job combined with the less that satsifactory way my first week back went is responsible for this.
I need to find a better way to deal with the stress without getting so angry and so upset. I know it is not a reflection of my abilities but rather my employer punishing me for being out, yet even armed with this knowledge, I can not stop from getting so upset, hurt and angry. This has to end.
Blue Cross and Blue Shield is hiring and I am going to go apply there this week. I know if I call my doctor she is going to pull me out of work again and I can not afford that at all. I really think my best bet is to find another job and steer clear of having to deal with my employer until I do find another job.
Any suggestions would be great..........
Posted by Lisa on April 17, 2005 5:38 PM