I came across your blog for the first time yesterday and left you a message. I came back to check in on you. I feel like we have many things in common after just reading your entries for about 20 mins. I am at a different stage in life, 32 with a small child, married, career, but yet alot of pain and struggling. I am not 100% sure I have Lupus yet, I am in the process of diagnosis. Right now it's between Lupus and RA. I have been addicted to painkillers, been thru a million medicines. I know you mentioned a detox, rehab, etc. Its a hard decision, I know. I feel like when I am on painkillers I have more pain sometimes because when its gone, it's gone. And the feeling of less pain is such a good feeling.
I have been to the point of tired of trying, tired of thinking, tired of everything. Tired of being. but part of it is the everyday things that I try to keep up with. I have found that when I talk about it to people that understand, it does help. It gives me motivation and some reassurance in life just to have someone that says it's okay to be tired. go rest and take care of yourself. part of that for me is hearing it from people that I want to care about me, my husband, mom, sister, dad, etc. Because when they are frustrated w/ me, I just really give up on myself. anyway...I hope your feeling okay and not getting into a flare up.
take care. do something good to yourself.