Main » August 2006
August 3, 2006
Things are going ok here. I'm finally getting used to being at home and being away from Westwind. I see my therapist twice a week now, and that's going ok. Some sessions are better than others, but for the most part-- it's going well.
I also just got a new job yesterday. At the Autism Center of Nebraska, working with/teaching autistic kids. I'm soooo excited about this job. My so-called 'passion' is teaching special needs kids. I've changed my major numerous times, and a few years ago, got a job at an elementary school here. I knew that teaching SPED was what I wanted to do, so I once again changed my major. To me, there is nothing better. If money weren't ever an issue, I would STILL teach. I don't care how much money I make, I just love doing it. It's not a job to me, and I actually look forward to going to work every day.
The best part of this new job is that my first client is one of my former students-- Allie-- who is the main reason I fell in love with teaching. How much more perfect can you get than that?
I still struggle on a daily basis with the eating disorder, but not nearly to the same extent as I did before I went inpatient. I've had a couple of 'slips' since I've been home, but nothing major. I also have not cut in almost 2 months, which is nearing my 10 week record.
University starts on Aug. 21, and I'm taking a couple of classes this semester. I decided to do part-time school for now, and see how it goes. I was working full time and going to school full time, and it was far too much at one time. We'll see how this semester goes, and maybe up the classes next semester. I'm getting ready to just get done with school and get my degree already. I've been out of high school now for 9 years!. And have been in college ever since, but don't have enough classes in one degree area to have a degree yet. I'm one or two classes away from several different degrees, but just never finished them. Maybe one day I will, but the teaching degree is my priority right now.
I have my good days and my bad days, and I know what I need to do--- I just don't always do it. Pete works long hours and most days leaves the house around 6:30 a.m. and doesn't get home until sometime after 7 p.m. So that makes meals tough, because I'm on my own for every single one. While I was inpatient, I got used to always having someone else there to eat with, or keep me on track. Now I'm on my own. That has caused problems at times, as I tend to just skip meals on occassion. I know I'm still under where I need to be--calorie wise-- but I'm working on that. Maybe not as hard as I should be... but it's going ok.
I see Judy today at 1 and then I start the new job today at 5 p.m.
I guess sometimes if you just hold on, if you just keep believing and trusting that things will work out the way they are supposed to, they will. So often, things don't go how I think they should go, or want them to go, and I end up sabotaging my own efforts in search of the "quick fix". Patience really is a virtue to hold onto.