February 14, 2005

oh no

I am only going to update for a minute as I am at work and hurting so bad I can not stop crying. I do not know what to do. Temp is 101.2 and I hurt so bad everywhere.

Sorry so short just really miserable today-maybe it will get better as sthe day goes on. It is raining so I know that is part of it.

Posted by Lisa on February 14, 2005 07:35 AM

Comments

A friend from another lupus board who stopped by to read your diary. I am going to agree completely with the responses you got to your earlier postings. Go to the Dr NOW. Do not pass go, do not collect 200$ (OK, if someone is handing it out you can grab it on your way).

In the on-flight instructions they always say that if the oxygen masks are released, put your own on before helping your child or another person who might need it. If you try to take care of everyone else around you first, you might pass out yourself before you can help anyone. This is wonderful life-advice as far as I am concerned. There are times when you put your own concerns on the back burner and do what you have to do to take care of what needs to be done, but there are other times when you have to make sure that your oxygen mask is working first. This is one of those times for you.

If you want to be around to help in the long term you have to get some help for you NOW. I know it seems like there are 1000 things that won't get done if you aren't there, but trust me, they will. Your kids will still get fed, they will still do school work, the dogs will still get exercised. Maybe not like you would do it, or even as well as you would do it, but it will all get done until you are feeling better and able to take up (some of) the reins again.

Please, Please, Please. Listen to us and your body and GET THE HELP YOU NEED NOW! You don't have to live like this!

Posted by: workingmom at February 14, 2005 11:07 AM

I am sitting here at work, reading all your entries. My heart is saddened by almost everything I have read. I remember when we were in school and I felt like you were my only friend. How you were there for me... And now when you need support and help, I am many miles away. I'm not going to say I know how you feel, or some bull crap line that people always say.. but I just wanted you to know that I do care and that I take the time everyday to read your thoughts and whats going on with you.
I've read your sadness in how this has taken over your body and you are desperately trying to fight it. How your husband hasnt been very supportive. That must be very hard. But I have to agree with the other comments in this.. you have to do for yourself. I mean do what you have to, let the other things go. Easier said than done, I know.But, Let those dishes go. Lay down, take a rest. I think you working at this time is just making things harder. Even though I know you are fighting for your sanity and to remain independant, that is all understandable for what you are going thru. So I think most would agree when I say, try for that disability. Look at what you are having to endure just to be able to work. And then look at what strength you are loosing in order to do that. Wouldnt you rather use that strength on your home, and those special times with your kids. Remember they are only young once. You know as well as I do, our childhoods sucked. And we will never forget as we make changes so that they dont grow up as we did. Dont be upset for me just speaking the truth and just being concerned for you and your family. I feel for you when Ive read the entries about the comments your husband has made. I feel your angry and frustration, but I wonder if he ever thinks about this... what if it was in reverse.?? what if "he" was the one going thru what you are? I wonder how he would feel. I can honestly say and believe this in my heart... You would never make him feel anything close to what he is making you feel. You are and have always been a kind hearted person and I know that you would be right there by his side every step of the way if this was happening to him. Maybe he should think about that. Anyway... Im done. It just angered me reading what he said to you. No, Lisa you are not lazy and never have been. I know your heart.And really, He should too.
So please, take care of yourself. If you ever need anything. I know I am miles away, and I do hope to make a visit in the area soon. Im only a phone call away if you need to talk.
Love you...
Lisa J.

Posted by: Lisa at February 16, 2005 10:41 AM



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