not fair

I feel really lousy…guilty..bad tonight. Mae is crying inside (again). And I tried to help but there isn’t anything I can do about it because I can’t make the situation change that she’s upset about. She wants our ex-best friend to come back over to play. I was on a walk and feeling lonely and missing her. When Mae gets upset I try to tell her that the same moon and stars that she looks up at are the same moon and stars that K sees… see, we can’t be that far away from each other, right? But Mae just got more upset tonight. And she doesn’t want anything like a blanket or curl up on the bed or a stuffed animal. She wants K. That’s it. I could color with her--- NO. I could get out her dolls--- NO you are not K.

That’s the sucky, completely unfair part about all this that I HATE. I HATE. Mae didn’t do ANYTHING WRONG regarding K. She couldn’t have possibly done anything wrong. Lets just say that me or Caroline or Missy or Nobody might have said something inappropriate, or scared Koff somehow- ok. We may have (although none of us have figured out yet what that could have been.) That’s fine—hold one of us accountable; get angry with us. But Mae—she did NOTHING wrong, and yet, because she is in the same body, she still gets punished. ITS NOT FAIR TO HER. Mae didn’t do anything wrong to K. She still deserves to have K as her friend. And Mae sees herself as her own, complete person, her own little 5 year old self with little ponytails and missing teeth and a brown dress, and sees the world from a 4’ tall viewpoint. She doesn’t have ANY understanding why K is doing this to her. And I try and try to explain that Kisn’t mad at HER, but maybe with someone else or something else might be wrong, but Mae just CANT understand. Its not fair to her. I don’t know how to make it any better. I just don’t.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under: Asthma

comments.gif

You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. This is torture for Mae who is not at fault and cannot understand. It's unconscionable for your former friend to just disappear without explaining so the grown ups could understand and help Mae through it. Maybe she just moved away, maybe that would be easier to understand for Mae? Since it's been a year, she could have, huh?

You're being upset is justified, unfortunately it doesn't help Mae get over this either. Maybe let her know you don't know why and you hurt too and K is gone.

I'm thinking of you all.

Hugs & Blessings, Judy




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