Escaping and sleep
I slept away the entire weekend! Ah, the joy of being so out of it that I dont know a thing that's going on.This is Pilgrim. I couldn't really say much about what's gone on this whole weekend,except that I've been in a sleepy daze. Slept in til about noon both days, took naps on the couch for hours. Yesterday there was something that scared me really bad, but I went back inside,and someone else took over on the outside, so I doubt that anyone outside could tell I was having terrible flashbacks and nightmares.
How handy it is, to have something to hide behind all the time, so no one in the outside world knows what's really going on. It means they don't have to listen to my strange stories, the endless and scary flashbacks. Then I don't have to listen to anyone lecture me on "you really need to get over your past." "Its all over now-- time to get over it."
And how isolating and lonely. I do it to myself, I guess. I'm too afraid of what people around me will think of me, too afraid of the lectures, the disappointed looks, the "I told you so's". It seems safer to keep everything inside.
But I'm so lonely.
Sleep lets me escape.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
I used to sleep just so I wouldn't have to deal with anything/anyone. I can relate for sure. I hope you feel better, do something nice for yourself to lift your spirits. :)
Take care.