This is a rather upsetting post. Perhaps you have a bit of depression that you should talk to someone about?
Your Natural Remedies

NO KIDDING.
How about severe depression that I am on several medications for for the past 12 years? And I've tried natural remedies, thanks.

Sorry. Bad mood. And just slammed my finger in something and in extreme pain.

i think i've written this before but i want to ask you why? why is it your job to smile and be perfect? why can't it just be your job to be just you. nothing more. nothing less.

there's a song i've been meaning to share with you for some time. it is by a Canadian artist, Holly Cole.

Cry if you want
I won]t tell you not to
I won’t try to cheer you up
I'll just be here if you want me

It’s no use in keeping a stiff upper lip
You can weep, you can sleep, you can loosen your grip
You can frown, you can drown and go down with the ship
You cry if you want to

Don’t ever apologize venting your pain
It's something to me you don’t need to explain
I don’t need to know why
I don’t think it’s insane
You can cry if you want to

The windows are closed
The neighbors aren’t home
If it’s better with me than to do it alone
I'll draw all the curtains and unplug the phone
You can cry if you want to

You can stare at the ceiling and tear at your hair
Swallow your feelings and stagger and swear
You could show things and throw things and I wouldn’t care
You can cry if you want to

I won’t make fun of you
I won’t tell anyone
I won’t analyze what you do or you should have done
I won’t advise you to go and have fun
You can cry if you want to

Well it’s empty and ugly and terribly sad
I can’t feel what you feel but I know it feel bad
I know that its real and it makes you so mad
You could cry

Cry if you want to I won’t tell you not to
I won’t try and cheer you up
I'll just be here if you want me; to be
Near you

If you want to hear the song you can go to her website www.hollycole.com, click on discography and then find the album "Don't Smoke In Bed" .. a media player will pop up .. the song is on there.

You deserve to be, you are human and precious and the universe loves you. I know you can be kind to yourself.

Hi Pilgrim,
I am a mom to three beautiful boys and am married to a wonderful man.
I just wanted you to know that after reading your entire website, I want you to know that there are loving, decent, caring and healthy-non-toxic people out there in the world that are safe to be with. I want you to know that as a mother myself, I tell my children each and everyday how loved they are and how special they are to my husband and I. I hug them and hold them close and tell them that I am so lucky to have them in my life. I am a safe person for them to turn to who would never hurt them(intentionally) or betray them. I send you that same peace, hope, kindness,love, serenity and strength to find your true self and let her shine bright for all to see!
I know you are going to find your way and I will keep you in my prayers and in my heart. Hang in there Pilgrim, you are a shining beacon in a often time dark world for so many lost souls. I send you a safe-mom hug and comforting words that you are worthy and have SO much to offer.
Thank you for your bravery and your fighting spirit. You are a survivor. God bless you sweetie. You are loved.
I'm so proud of you!
Sue

Hi!
Sorry to hear you don't feel so good...
I just wanted to say hi!

And BTW it seems I can't read your blog that is on another website...strange the site don't load anymore

I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. I'm also sorry that you don't trust your therapist. But do you not trust because of something your T has done or because of your fear?