No. I'd love to make progress. I wish I would make more.
Why is it that the people who post as Anonymous sound so damn judgmental?

i'm not sure if you ever did this but if you haven't i really wish you would.

please have your husband contact sharon and explain to her that after 5 months you are not moving on and she has a professional obligation to help you.

as a doctor, she took an oath to do no harm and she needs to understand that her actions have caused substantial harm.

if your husband won't do this then have your new counselor do it.

it's time that someone steps in on your behalf. enough is enough.

Actually, Jax, Sharon has no obligation to help her once she has released her as a patient. Sharon did abide by do no harm by sending her to someone else because she felt she couldn't help her anymore. I think contacting her, emailing her, and in any way having anything to do with her only perpetuates the situation and keeps Pilgrim from healing. Healing WILL come.

Stephanie did this to me. She dumped me and she had no obligation whatsoever to help me. What Stephanie did to me was illegal and yet I had NO legal recourse.

A therapist-client relationship is a bond some don't really get and it is SO freaking hard to separate from a therapist...especially when it's sudden. I understand. But when it comes down to the bare roots of it all, Sharon did what she felt was best to help Pilgrim, not hurt her. Ultimately, Pilgrim has to help herself.

From my point of view...and considering all that has happened...I think you're doing incredibly well. Don't give up.

thanks for clarifying, katie. i really struggle with giving that advice because i know in my heart that sharon will not ever be able to explain why she did what she did so that it will make a difference to the little kids.

it's hard to understand why people do what they do even in the best of circumstances.

i just think that if pilgrim can move past blaming herself for what sharon has done ... well, anyway ... what do i know ... i'm not in it so i'm only ever speculating.

pilgrim, there are 7 classic stages of grief and it seems that you are stuck in anger & bargaining. i think that when we suffer a loss those that have faith naturally direct our anger toward god. and thank goodness that he can handle it and understands that we don't really mean it. pilgrim, you need someone to be angry at and you have put yourself in the centre of it for lack of someone else. i think it's easier for you to blame yourself. i think you've been blaming yourself for a very long time.

it's a dangerous circle that you are in and it may be hard to surface from because more anger causes more self-blame and further loss of self-esteem.

anyway, i wanted to share this poem with you pilgrim. you've been talking a lot, lately, about praying, but some times prayer isn't enough. my grandma once said to me that sometimes god's answer to our prayers is no. there are a lot of people in this world that need god's help so we have to take action on god's behalf and trust that he has our back. so i remembered this poem.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."

Wow, anonymous, you know for a FACT that I don't reciprocate? So obviously you know for a fact that I don't send e-mails to anyone who e-mails me from this site, or that I don't spend time with people from work, never return phone calls... wow, you're so omniscient.
I want IN PERSON friends to hang out with. THATS what I'm talking about.

Jax, thanks for sharing the poem.

By the way anonymous, your comments are now filtered as junk here since youre one of the former members of AMJ who has been deleted there, your comments are no longer needed on this site either.