Just not able to handle anything right now
For some reason, the past week I my tolerance to handle things seems really low and I'm not sure why. I keep praying, but I feel desperate again. I am not eating well, which it just stupid. I want to lose weight. If I have to be alone, lonely, not have Sharon anymore or Caroline Ann, if I have to go through so much stress, at least I could be THINNER. I'm aware this is stupid talk.
I am not able to handle stress or worries like usual. My faith is not great. I am really lonely and sad. Maybe its the weather. Maybe its finding out that someone I care about is probably going to die any day now. Maybe its regrets over past decisions hanging over me. There is stress in my family that I just can't handle right now that I can't do anything about and I feel helpless. I'm just lonely and need someone to talk to but there isn't anyone. I want Sharon to talk to. My feelings about her are all over the place. Sometimes I miss her and sometimes I hate her, so I try not to think about her at all. I had to miss my Bible study last week because I had to work late, and that's something that means a lot to me.
I wish I could just hang out at Sunday School and Bible study all the time, around those women and those people who are always talking about God and studying. I like being in that environment, and its where I feel refreshed. Instead of being alone and lonely. I want to get away from ME.
I want to sense God's presence and just feel Him near me. I want to feel like someone truly cares enough to take time on me, instead of always feeling alone and forgotten about. Joel Osteen's podcast message this week was on God Remembers You. I needed to hear that because so often I feel like no one ever thinks about me or remembers me, sometimes even God. I often feel abandoned and forgotten about. But God always has me on His mind. I need to remember that. I just wish that people would think of me sometimes, and maybe even let me know.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
I think about you, quite alot might i add.. maybe we're not so different after all. it sorta helps knowing someone out there is just as lonely as i am- were not lonely cause somethings wrong with us, were only lonely cause theres such a lack of good people to talk to.. good luck :)
I know EXACTLY how you're feeling here! overlooked. Wanting SOMEONE to notice and care and WANT to take the time to get to know you and like you. Of course, God already knows you and loves you and that's a comfort. But you also want a human being -- understand completely because I'm there, too. You know I'm thinking of you, caring, and praying for you.
well, I often stop by and check if you have updated your blog. I'm sure I'm not the only one - the others just don't let you know. <3 :)