Three Year Anniversary Today

Today is 3 years since Sharon, our old therapist, dumped us with no warning http://www.healthdiaries.com/blogs/pilgrim/archives/2008/01/
that was such a hard, sad time.

it took 2 years to stop obsessing over her

we tried something like 8 therapists after her. most of them sucked royally.
i am so grateful that we found kathy -- members of AMJ helped us find her, and we're so thankful. she is the best therapist that there ever was.

it is still hard sometimes. what sharon did gave us PTSD (more :think ) and has left behind a lousy legacy. but we're dealing with it-- and doing LOTS better. having kathy has helped a lot

God has really been faithful and changed us SO much ever since sharon left. we're not the same person
At 1st we hated God, we hated everybody, weren't going to trust ANYONE ever again. But as time has gone on, even though we have a hurty heart, we have learned to trust a little bit again. There are so many things we wish we could say to sharon. Especially about the lousy way she ended things and how much she hurt us. But we think that she is just too chicken to listen--but hiding behind "boundaries." Maybe its not so much boundaries as she is just too scared to hear what we would tell her because she knows she screwed up, and she can't handle it. Maybe it really is more about her than it is about us.
Maybe....
Maybe.
Jodie, Mae, and Claire still have their doubts. The little kids especially still hurt so much. And Jodie. She still feels so betrayed.
But its better, some. Having a good therapist who is on our side has made a big difference.
Wish we could see her. Wish she could see us now. See how different we are.
We left a voice mail on her answering machine the other day. Saying hi. Reminding her that its been 3 years. Just saying we miss her.
She probably didn't even listen to it.
Anyway.
Long time. I can see the purpose in it all now, sometimes. How going through all that changed us for the better. Made us more independent, more of a cohesive group. Made us better people. But at what expense?
Anyway. 3 years. Long time. Long, long time.When you leave someone who is a multiple, you leave behind a small country. But we will be okay.

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