Bearing Gifts as if They're Burdens
Today on the radio I was listening to Ginny Owen's song--I think its called "Free"-- and part of it's lyrics are this:
Turnin' molehills into mountains
Makin' big deals out of small ones
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens
This is how it's been /
CHORUS: You're free to dance
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing
Even joyful noise is music to Me
You're free to love
Cause I've given you My love
And it's made you free
I have set you free!
That "bearing gifts as if they're burdens" resonated in my mind for a while. Rolled around on my tongue while the chorus was sung. Bearing gifts as if they're burdens. Is that possible? Ginny Owens, in case you don't know, is a Christian singer who is visually impaired, although its hardly noticeable. I wondered briefly if the line in the song is about her own blindness. Did she consider it a burden? And then realize it's a gift?
That's when it hit me. Not only is it possible that I bear gifts as though they're burdens, but probably. More than likely. I wonder if we all do that.
That ADD I've got going on? That I consider a huge burden to me because I can't pay attention? You know, that has come in awfully handy when relating to children. And because I can't pay attention (or rather, technically, I can't focus because I am paying attention to too many things at once) I notice EVERYTHING. The ladybug crawling on the floor. The way the man down the aisle at church looks sad, so I say a prayer for him. The tension in someone's voice. The way the leaves are blowing outside the window so I say a quick thank you to God for trees, and wind, and the sun, and..and..and...look at how that puddle outside is sparkling in the sun, man, I love sparkly things, which reminds me of that sparkly necklace the lady nex to me is wearing, wow God thank you for sparkly things like puddles and the sun and Heaven and I'm sure Heaven is going to be sparkly too, right and...wait, was someone talking?
And how about the fact that I have a big childish side? Its always felt like a burden because I JUST WANT TO GROW UP ALREADY. Am I ever going to be a normal wife who cooks dinners and cleans the house and goes to Tupperware parties (*shudder*) But what if, like some have told me, not childish, but child-like. What if that has been part of what has made me an amazing teacher? The fact that I can relate so well to children because I know what is going on in their heads. I haven't forgotten, like many other teachers I know, what it's like to be 5 years old. I know how hard it is to sit still in school or to concentrate when its a beautiful day outside. This has given me a blessed amount of patience with children. Something that has drawn literally hundreds of children to me over the years, crawling into my lap or whispering into my ear or putting their heads on my shoulder when they felt they couldn't turn to a "real grown up." Because being like them made me safe.
Another thing I have considered a burden is my hour-long commute to work every day. But is it really? I have learned to take Joyce Meyer and Beth Moore teaching tapes in the car with me, every day. I don't let myself listen to them anywhere else, and they are my favorites. Reserved just for car rides. So on my long commute, I have 60 (and sometimes over 90) minutes to just pray and learn about God. Sometimes He and and I have long talks. That gives me a lot of time to pray for other people. Or, let's face it, sometimes enough time to get into a big old argument with the Almighty (and lots of time for me to lose, as well.) On hard days, it gives me lots of time to pour my heart out, feel heard, and get my head screwed back on straight before I ever arrive at work, and by the time I get there I am feeling thankful and blessed again.
These are just a few of the things that came to my mind today listening to that Ginny Owens song. How about you? Those kids that are driving you insane right now? The ones you prayed for... are they really burdens? What if they were suddenly gone? Where would you be without them? How about that promotion you prayed for where now you are in a new office but you are the only Christian there? Didn't you pray for God to use you? Is it a burden to be the only one there, or is it a place for your light to shine? How about that thorn in your side... that eating disorder, that limp, that loneliness that has made you so compassionate towards other people that in spite of your "burden" you've now got a bigger heart?
Is your burden really a burden? Or is it a gift in disguise?
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
My name is Mary M. I live in Milwaukee, WI.
I just watched the 2007 remake of the movie "Sybil" on TV; and went online to read more about Sybil and stumbled across (or more likely was "guided") to your blog/website.
I read your entry from Feb 2009 and just read your "25 Random Facts About Me" ... thank you for sharing about yourself ... very interesting ... you made me smile.
I don't know ... just thought I would write to you and share 25 Random Thoughts About Me ... and perhaps we can become friends.
1. I too am a Christian ... and like King David "I am after God's heart".
2. I too believe that the Bible is God's true word written for us. He said it. I believe it. That settles it!
3. The Psalms are also my favorite part of the Bible.
4. I LOVE music ... especially Contemporary Christian Music ... I like just about any music except rap, hard rock and music that has swearing in it or speaks about abuse towards women or children. Some of my favorite Christian musicians are: Kim Hill, Third Day, Mercy Me, and new to me - Brandon Heath. My favorite Christian writer is Max Lucado ... and I just read the book "The Shack" (can't recall right now who the writer is ... but ... wow that was a really good book!)
5. I am a survivor of a horrendous abusive childhood ... abuse in the forms of sexual, mental, physical and emotional by both of my parents. I AM A SURVIVOR!!! Thanks be to my LORD God who gave and continues to give me VICTORY.
6. I have been with my husband, Gary since I was 11 years old! Yes, truthfully and honestly!! What a BLESSING he is. I just turned 50 years old last month (January 2009). My husband and I have been together for 39 years and this May 2009 we will be celebrating 32 years of marriage! WOW! Where has the time gone??? I've always told my husband that he was the knight in shining armor that God sent my way ... when my husband and I started "dating" my dad and his friends left me alone because I was "Gary's woman" ... and that was just fine by me.
7. I am the oldest of 4 children and raised my siblings (2 sisters and one brother) since I was old enough to walk, but still couldn't talk very well. ;-)
8. I have three grown children: Ages - 35, 30 and 28. (I had my first son just 6 wks shy of my 15 birthday. Not that I am "proud" of that ... I didn't know all those "eggs" where just sitting there waiting to be fertilized. I know my Lord God forgives me for having a child out of wedlock ... and that is all I need - is HIS forgiveness.)
9. I have 8 beautiful grandchildren ... my "jewels"! My first son has a 11 year old daughter and is engaged to a young lady who has a 9 year old daughter (my 8th and newest grandchild!); my second son has a soon-to-be 13 year old son, a 7 year old daughter and a baby boy who just turned a year last month; my "baby" daughter has 3 children: a 6 year old girl ("the apple of my eye" ... yes, I know grandma's aren't suppose to have favorites ... can't help myself), a 4 year old son and a 2 1/2 year old daughter "my shadow"
10. My absolute FAVORITE thing to do is to spend time with my grandkids ... they always ALWAYS bring much laughter and many smiles to me. Talk about God's BLESSINGS in my life! Wow!
11. I am also an Overcomer! God has helped me to overcome drug and alcohol addictions ... this September 2009 will be 23 years free from the bondage of a horrible cocaine addiction! PRAISE GOD!!!!!
12. I am a "reformed" perfectionist! What a BLESSING to be free from that!!! I drove everyone, including myself, crazy trying to be "perfect"! So grateful to GOD that HE finally helped me learn the lesson ... that I will never be perfect until I am some day (God-willing years and years from now) with HIM in Heaven.
13. I love making new friends, connecting heart-to-heart with other women.
14. I believe myself to be a down-to-earth person, real, honest and open.
15. I am a touchy-feelly person ... LOVE ((((HUGS))))!
16. After years and years of hiding from "feelings", not loving or liking myself ... GOD has helped me to grow into a woman who today does love herself and her feelings.
17. I tend to get emotional ... especially when I listen and sing along to praise music to my Lord God ... I get such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for all HE has and continues to do for me that I cry because I am so happy. And why is it that when I am crying "happy" tears I look like I am in pain ... when I'm not?
18. I LOVE dancing with GOD ... just Him and me. And yes, I really do that. It is such fun!!
19. I struggle with several heath issues ... chronic asthma being one ... but hey, it is GOD who gives me the breath of life and my being ... and so I thank Him for each new day!
20. I pray that I am always open, with a teachable heart and mind ... that I would continue to grow into the woman my Lord desires me to be ... which I know is beautiful and way more than I could ever think, dream or imagine!
21. I am involved in being a support and encourager of other women in sobriety.
22. Finally after years and years of wondering what my special "gift" from GOD is ... learned that I am an "encourager" and "prayer warrior".
23. You can't "outgive" God's love! The more you give away the more it comes back to you.
24. I work full time as a legal secretary ... love to type ... I work for a good company ... but honestly wish I didn't have to "work" to earn a living so that I could do more volunteer work with children and young women ... especially those struggling to grow past childhood abuses ... just to be able to be "there" and support and encourage others.
25. I thank GOD for the GIFT of letting go of my past, no longer letting my past childhood dictate how I will live my day today ... some days are easier than others ... GOD continues to encourage and spurn me upward and onward.
Well that's my 25 Random Things About Me" ... hope I did not bore you.
Would really enjoy hearing back from you ... perhaps building a new friendship together in the LOVE of GOD. My email address is: crispymlm@aol.com
Keeping you and your family in my prayers ... may the Lord God bless you and keep you in HIS perfect care.
((((Hugs)))) ... told you - I'm a huggy person.
Mary
xoxo
"Faith, Hope and Love ... but the greatest of these is LOVE."
1 Corinthians 13:13