Four Years

Four years today since Sharon dumped us.
I wonder if we have ever crossed her mind since that day.
I am sure she moved on with her life about 10 minutes later and forgot about us pretty quickly.
We have so much to say to her (a proper goodbye would have been nice....a little closure would have been good..instead of left hanging like this.)
Even though we still carry so much guilt and shame and internal pressure and are sure its all our fault for what happened, in the past 4 years we've learned some things from other therapists and our friends:
1. Sharon had the right to end therapy if she didn't think she was helping us. But how she did it was COMPLETELY wrong, and some therapists say it was unethical and she should have been reported.
2. She didn't know everything....like we thought she did.
3.Sometimes she could be a real bitch....even though sometimes she could be really sweet.
4.We are pretty sure that everything she said was a bunch of lies. She lied to us at our 1st session (some story about "her aunt" and cutting off the end of a roast like the mother/grandmother/great grandmother had always done, and it turns out the greatgrandmother's pan had been too small---DUH, like I hadn't heard that one before? So VERY unlikely it was Sharon's AUNT)-I had a bad feeling about it then, and I should have walked out.
5.We still miss her so much :( We just want to talk to her.
6. She can be pretty freaking cold and mean. But if she thinks she's right, she can rationalize anything.
7. We don't know where her mind is anymore. A month ago we left her a message, asking just for the name/# of a doctor we once saw, could she please email me the info? Do you think she can lower herself and provide that info that we know she has? No way. Are you kidding? Be helpful?
8. Trusting my instincts is more important than following someone blindly just because they say they are right.
9. There are still lots and lots of hurt feelings :(
10. We wish we could talk to her just one more time. :( Just once.

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