Mae
We used to always color with Sharon. In sessions. That was a special thing that Mae always did with Sharon. After Sharon left us, Mae could no longer color anymore. I wrote on here once that last spring she even broke all of her crayons to get rid of them. She didn't even like looking at the crayon aisle anymore at the store, which had always been her favorite aisle because of all the colors.
Well... Mae has started coloring again. Slowly. Two weeks ago DH went on a trip, and as a surprise for something to keep us busy, he left behind a giant Winnie the Pooh coloring book and a new set of colored pencils. We colored for hours. When he came back from his trip, he brought home a brand new Disney Fairies coloring book complete with stickers, and yesterday at Target there were those wonderful 64-set boxes of Crayola Crayons on sale for only $1.70. So we got a box of those and colored for a couple hours yesterday.
Perhaps this is a small step towards healing, I hope.
Mostly, our feelings are turned off all the time. I even had a dream the other night about admitting "I have no feelings anymore." I do keep a happy face on all the time. And I do feel happy sometimes now because I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and I've learned to think more positively. But as far as everything else, I've learned to keep it buried deep down. And Mae is still so deeply hurt by what happened with Sharon that she cannot even talk about it. WE cannot even talk about it, not even inside with each other.
But, at least she's picking up crayons again, and that's a step I think.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
Pilgrim, Nobody, Carol, Mae and everyone else I may have left out~
Hi, my name is Lisa. I am a college student majoring in psychology. I am not a therapist or counselor yet- I still have some years to go, but I have read some of your journal here and learned a bit about you. I would like to be your friend- a friend to all of you. I am a loyal friend and I know especially Nobody would want and needs a friend =) I don't think you are crazy at all either.. I think you are all very smart and strong to take care of yourselves and Pilgrim's body as you do. Will you be my friend please? I'd love that.I know it is hard to trust people and especially someone you don't know. but I promise I won't hurt any of you. pinkie promise and cross my heart. I always keep my promises =) I really hope to hear from you soon.
here is my email address aleris76@sbcglobal.net
Feel free to email anytime and ask me anything you want.
Your friend,
Lisa
I think it is a sign of healing. It is very difficult when a deep hurt happens like that to just spring back. It takes time. And it looks like maybe now is the beginning of your time.
Way to go on your dh. He sounds like a very thoughtful kind of guy.
Take care.
Hello, this is the nice post I have come across so far. I am very pleased to post my comment on this blog . I love your blog by the way. Most awful things happen to people all the time, But again time is the one thing that helps us to stop thinking about the past and to move forward. Keep moving and posting of-course, bye.
Hello!
I just discovered your blog and i just wanted to say how inspiring you all are.You write so well! I also have similar disorders. It is hard sometimes,but if you can harness all the power inside you it can also be very useful at times. I would enjoy speaking with you. I have never had anyone to relate to before. If you ever need a person to talk to or even just vent E-mail me. I Idon't mind listening. I look forward to your next blog. Stay strong.
Sincerely,
CchrisS Etc
Hello,
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I kinda understand what you are going through. My therapist abandoned me a week ago. No phone call at all. I just called his office one day and I was told by his secretary that I was no longer allowed to contact him. I know the pain of being abandoned by someone you trust so much. I know now that therapists are people with thier own issues and we cant put our whole trust into them. My hearts goes out to you dear. I sent a prayer out for you.
Hi
I just found your blog today. I've been reading through it. You're a great writer and have an interesting story to tell. I'm sorry it has so much sadness though.
I'm sorry you were abandoned by your therapist. I feel too much faith is put into therapists. There's this sense that they can save us or always be there for us. But in the end, they're just human. They're just as capable of hurting us than anyone else we meet...they might even be MORE capable.
I plan to keep reading your blog. I just wanted to give a hello. I personally feel a bit weird when people read my blog on a regular basis and never say anything. I didn't want to do the same to you. Although you might not have minded. We're all different...right : )