About eyelashes
There is a question about eyelashes in the comments and I wanted to talk about that here.
Within a week I could see the little stubby eyelashes poking through the eyelid. (I had to look really closely in the mirror. There were several gaps in my eyelashes at this time so it was easy to see.). Within 2-3 weeks they were half the length of the rest of my lashes. Within a month my eyelashes looked SO different.
It is so hard when we can't do things like swimming because of eyelashes or hair. I get so skittish when my hair is wet because my bad spots show so easily. Usually if I'm going swimming I do the eyeliner trick on my bad spots to fill them in and just avoid touching my head so that it doesn't smudge. It's a pain.
Unforunately, I've pulled them out again the past four days. ARGH! I need to keep myself busier at night...since that's when I want to touch my eyelashes. How to keep myself busier with a two year old? Ack, I just don't know. I'll let you know when I think of something.
Posted by Cody on August 15, 2005 10:21 PM
me, I've been attacking the hairs on my legs with tweezers. how about trying there instead of on your head? it feels just as good. well, for me anyway. i've never been an eyelash puller, myself. but i attack my eyebrows on a near daily basis. nothing makes me happoer than seeing little clumps of eyebrows falling. You know what weird thing I do? I leave my eyebrow hairs in books that I read. Down in the spine. So that someday, someone will open up a book and see my little hairs and know "someone was here". and maybe someday in the future they can test the DNA (I know they can do that already, I am thinking back 20 years ago when I started doing this) and find out that it was me and someone will know "Pilgrim was here." and not forget about me.
i have also been attacking the hairs on my legs with tweezers cause thats one place i dont want hair anyways. but i would like my eyebrows and eyelashes to grow in fully like they used to be. i was so much more confident back then. its a never-ending cycle for me..if im lucky ill go a few weeks and i can see a significant difference but then with one stressful day im back to where i started weeks ago. i wish i could stop permanately. i know what you mean about swimming though, i use eyeliner as well but am CONSTANTLY worried about it rubbing off and have to go check in the mirror as soon as anything touches my eyebrows. its like im imprisoning myself. i prevent myself from going certain places and doing certain things because im afraid people will see my lack of eyebrows. i also have to get up much earlier to pencil in my eyebrows and eyelashes, which is a pain. its reassuring to know that im not the only one suffering from this, as i have yet to meet someone in person who i know has it.
I just stumbled upon this page through google... I've been pulling my darn eyelashes out since I was a child of 6 or 7 years old. I'm now 27 and really trying to figure out how to STOP without having to take meds. I hate this. I WANT eyelashes, but as one of you said, at night I almost can't help myself. If I have spare time, I'm plucking. And then I feel a gap with my fingertip and feel guilty and try really hard to leave them alone... distractions and what not. But then once they're all growing back and starting to look healthy and normal, I go and pluck one... and then another one. And yeah, that one seems out of place....and then it starts again. Any thoughts to help me?
Hi
Having suffered with this hair pulling problem for 28 years it was only early this year (in a magazine article) that I discovered that I wasn't alone. I had no idea that so many others suffered. I imangined that by pulling and eating the ends I was providing myself with some magical powers - I know it sounds mad but it was the only way I could rationalise why I did this.
Since discovering there are loads of us I have in the main been pull free. I think what I am struggling with is the habit of putting my hands on my hair now. Another sysmpton of this horrible habit is biting your nails - I to used to bite mine but don't now. One thing that did help me a lot was ensuring my hair was washed daily and kept nice it really did help me. Pluse like those who pluck hair from their legs I regularly shave mine and wax my other bits and this helps and the feeling is as good as pulling your hair. As they say with never give up trying to give up.
I really wish you all so much luck for the future and I hope soon you will all pull free.
Hello,
I have been struggling with this problem for a few years now. Each time I pull out a lash, I tell myself that I will stop. But it never seems to happen. I try to hold onto a squish ball, or make something out of string, but I always seem to pull.
During School, and when I'm bored at home, my hands always seem to be on my eyes. I don't even usually realize a lash is missing until I find it in my hands. I then rub the end of the lash (the white bulb part) on my face. This is part of the sensation that I get. I feel like a freak!
PLEASE HELP ME!
I have been pulling my eyelashes and eyebrows like it's my job for about 8 or 9 years. I am 26 years old now. Every day I enjoy pulling more and more. I love doing it so much that the remorseful and shameful feelings that were so severe after a pulling spree are almost completely gone these days. It's disgusting, I know. I haven't been able to wear mascara for about 4 years now and I spend a lot of time applying eyeliner and eyebrow pencil. Have you ever thought that this affliction tends to affect people (girls mostly) who would be considered by society to be "pretty?" I, like the girl who posted above, have not met another Trichster in person. I am curious to know what your overall image of yourself is. Personally, I feel like I could be a "pretty" girl but I am constantly making myself "ugly" by pulling out my hair. It makes no sense.
I can't understand why I would do these things to myself and why I love it so much (I'm pulling even as I type this). I have been on Prozac for a few years now and it hasn't helped me at all. I went to a Christian therapist to talk about Trich and, of course, she knew nothing about it and didn't bother finding any information upon my next visit. My family tries to help and I have done research on Trich for years now. I know it doesn't stop until you really and truly want to stop. Pray for God to take the desire to pull away. I haven't because I do not want to stop bad enough and would only be wasting His time.
hey. i have a little problem with pulling my eyelashes out. like one of my eyelashes will feel weird and like i want to pull that one out, or something and next thing you know i have pulled out several and then i realize there is a little bald spot where my eyelashes are...so here i have a question...will eyelashes always grow back? cause I WANT looong pretty ones but mine are average looking, and sometimes i just find myself from being stressed out pulling out my eyelashes, i wish i never ever did it once, but now that i have done it, i just cant stop, i have been doing it for about a year and a half now, and i am concerned with the fact will my eyelashes grow back. can someone help me out on this??
Oh yes, its maddening isn't it? I've been at this for the better part of fifty years. Anyone tried hypnotherapy? Something must be possible, its surely embarrassing for a middle aged man! No amount of keeping busy seems to help, all of a sudden there you are with wrecked eyebrows again. Good luck all.
Hi, i suffer from this problem and it does wreck your life! when you do it the brain releases a chemical high so you think its good (mmm we know its wrong though!) i have tried hypnotherapy and it wouldnt work for me as im to strong minded in other ways! i was thinking at one stage to even go live in the bush away from mirrors and stress! for 6 mths, but it never happened, still its not a bad a idea? :)
one thing i have found (even i still suffer with this conplant) is not to stand to close to the mirror! so you cant see any detail in yourself, the other is to take a mind set to train your mind to think "i dont give a f... what they look like and screw everybody else" i have found this can work some times, i do know myself the problems stress/worry/bordem/been to fussy about my appreance, i do my best to try work through each problem. The only time in my life where i was nearlly cured was working 7 days a week 12 hrs a day, had no time for anything so hair grew close to normal, but idle hands are the devils work, these days i spend as much time with other friends (away from a miror) and hobbies, life is better but not normal, still i do feel i can beat this with wisdom and age on my side. Just hope when i decide the time is right? the hair still wants to grow? :)
hey wow theres acually people out there like me .. i have pulled my eyelashes out since i was like 7 or 8 what the heck makes you start and how can you make them grow please help me!! its a habit you know its like a bad addiction i hate it i want long pretty eyelashes : / if anyone has any advise help me
Angus,
I have had this problem since 4th grade. It is so frustrating! After each lash is pulled out, you really get mad at yourself. At times I had NO lashes pretty much at all. I am starting to get better! I sat myself down one day, and said to myself that if I keep doing this, I will soon permantly have No eyelashes. It was hard. But it REALLY does work!
comment back!
I pull and pull and pull! it feels good! one irritates me so I pull it. Then i end up pulling out clumps pulling as hard as i can to see the roots and stick them some where. The mirror is fine. It hurts then it feels good when the give in and come out. I feel horrible go look at myself and cry then try to fill in the spots at 3 in the morning so i can be prepared to cover it up. i scratch and massage the gaps with my fingers, it feels good and weird, but i think it helps them grow back. i have hope. my mom thinks im allergic to some mascaras, and is so proud when the grow back. i was too! they were beautiful! now they are gone. I hope they come back soon. i was using some type of sally hanson maximum growth masacara and if it wasnt my imagination, it helped them really grow in. Yeah! pray for a cure. i do everyday. meds are not for me.
i've been pulling since i was 13,and ive been doin it all morning..people just say well stop pulling then if you don't want gaps but it's easier said than done. I don't want to look like this and have to cover it up.i think it makes me so less confident about myself. I went to the doctors about it, they were like it's probably an eye infection but i took antibiotics and it's still happening..and has been for 5 years.they were all growing back, 3 weeks i hadn't pulled then one evening, bamm they're all gone! i feel like all people will see when they look at me is oh my god,no eyelashes!they aren't,they've got better things to do but i feel so self concious because of it.and ive never met anyone who does this either
I keep thinking of getting false eyelashes but will they work..if there's no lashes to stick them on,what do you do?i find that my eyes irriate me of a night but i only ever seem to pull out the middle lashes...i have both ends just a huge gap in the middle.when i was younger the patches were small but now its half my eyelid.i hate it but i can't seem to stop...if there's no cure..i need something in the meantime to help?anyone used fake lashes before?any recommendations?
What a gift this site is! It was only a few years ago that I found out that there was a name (and lots of sufferers) for what I do. I thought I was the only 2nd grader in the world with her own (hidden) pair of tweezers. I hate to say how old I am now. I didn't have ANY lashes from 2nd - 10th grade. Talk about a social outcast. Everyone believe me when I tell you that they WILL grow back when you are ready. I spent my twenties making large bald spots on my head - and yes, I did the eyeliner pencil coverup and avoided hairdressers, wind, and etc. Leg hair pulling too and still. Now I have scars above my C-section scar, from picking and pulling. Now I avoid pap smears and being naked, and I am terrified that if anyone sees this, they will think I am either insane or that it is track marks from drug needles.
We all know that the evening and nighttime is our pulling time. I have a theory that this is because all the days' stress has built up, and we feel that we will explode if we don't do something about it. Maybe we are not satisified with whatever we did or didn't do that day. Maybe it's because of what someone else did or didn't do and how we handled that. Whatever, we end our day both relieving and punishing ourselves with pulling. I am trying something new: Using the pulling time to face how I feel about the days doings and trying to get to the bottom of it. My best friend, willpower I didn't even know I had, and vanity helped me stop pulling in places the public can see.
Now, I have to find a way to stop this other, equally mortifying impulse.
ok. Right now i'm 17 years old and i have had this problem since i was in the third grade. It wasn't that bad back then. I remember it got real bad around the 7th grade. Thats the first time i had a bald spot. And thats the first time someone asked me wut had happened to my lashes. I came up with some lame excuse that my younger sisters had put tape on my eye and yanked them out. w.ethe problem escalladed as i went into 8th grade. in 8th grade is when i first took out all my lashes from both my eyes. my mom saw them and grounded me until they grew back. and they did. 9th grade year i really dont remember pulling so much. 10th grade year was the best i had all my lashes and no blad spots. perfect. but as we all know life is a series of peaks and valleys. and i was headed staright for a valley. I started to have pulling sprees more frequently. now 11th grade current situation ... left eye about an inch gap in the middle of my eye ... right eye has more lashes about 15 in the middle .. more covered up than the left. I just had a pulling spree about 10 mins ago. I have tried everything to stop. I have noticed that when i dont do it my eye starts to itch and twitch. i feel them poking through my sensitive skin and as soon as i feel that i get the tweezers and pull it out. And wut a feeling.... as soon as that lash is out i feel such a sensation. The bigger the root the better. I pass my finger through my eyelid and try to feel and small lashes and wait until my eye is irratated and pull pull pull... im scared ... i want lashes but cant seem to have them .... not most guys i kno have this problem... i dont want to go to the doctor or take meds... im not crazy am i ??? i have no will power... i cant even control myslef...im afraid soon my lashes will no longer grow out.... and whn that day comes ... im screwed... if there are any known remedies for this life ruining condition... please email me !!!
I can feel your panic thru the screen. The lashes WILL grow back. Here's what I did when I was going thru it: I put Vaseline on my eyes at night. It seemed to help the urge and itch. Plus, whenever I put my hands on my eyes, it was goopy and reminded me of my goal. This is only a night time solution because you don't want to go around all greasy-eyed during the day. If you are pulling during tv, get your hands busy with a string to tie knots in, or a deck of cards to shuffle, etc., to keep both hands busy.
If you pull with your fingers, try putting some tape on your thumb tips for a reminder, plus it makes pulling almost impossible. If you pull with tweezers, make a deal with yourself that you won't get the tweezers out of the drawer for 5 minutes, or two hours, or until next Monday, whatever you think you can handle. Then get away from 'it' by walking out the door and doing something else that takes your mind off. I don't know how to stop completely - I only know what helped me stop pulling out my lashes. And, no we are not crazy, we don't do it for 'attention' (who WANTS to hear, "What happened to your eyelashes?" I think its stress that doesn't know where else to put itself.
Very reasurring to know about others experiences. I remember my aunt telling me once that eyelash pulling was a sign of mental illness, but I know that that is PURE BULL, and that it's mostly cause by stress (for me anyways).
YOU CAN GET OVER IT.Your lashes grow back and you can finally wear mascara again. No more filling in bald spots with eyeliner.
Although I dont understand, because I've only started to pull 2 yrs ago in grade 9, at around age 15. I think it's because of all the stress I get at school, because on summer break all my lashes grown back and I hardly get the urge to pluck.
Right now one of my eyes is almost completely full grown, while the other is half bald. But I know that if I really want to have beautiful lashes, I have to resist the urge, as hard as it may be.
Good luck everyone!
It was only recently that I found out that I had this problem, I have been doing it for 21 years now and have only managed to stop pulling my eyelashes for about 6 months, but as usual I started pulling again. I have started pulling from my head now, which stops the eyelash pulling but creates lovely bald spots on my head (super sexy - I think not). I think that with the right support from people, we can overcome this curse (as I like to call it). I have got my fiance to nudge me whenever he catches me playing with my hair/eyelashes and it seems to work. SUGGESTION: try rubbing Vitamin E oil on your lashes/lids before bedtime, this helps stimulate the follicles natural growth.
It was only recently that I found out that I had this problem, I have been doing it for 21 years now and have only managed to stop pulling my eyelashes for about 6 months, but as usual I started pulling again. I have started pulling from my head now, which stops the eyelash pulling but creates lovely bald spots on my head (super sexy - I think not). I think that with the right support from people, we can overcome this curse (as I like to call it). I have got my fiance to nudge me whenever he catches me playing with my hair/eyelashes and it seems to work. SUGGESTION: try rubbing Vitamin E oil on your lashes/lids before bedtime, this helps stimulate the follicles natural growth.
I am 31 years old and I have been pulling since I was 13. Trich is something I have always tried to hide and been very ashamed of. I am so sick of it. I keep wondering when I will stop. I am a mother and I have a 6 year old and I do not want her to develop it. I feel so disgustingly ugly without my eyelashes and eyebrows. I always have to put on eyeliner and eyepencil as like a "Camoflage" I cant go swimming, just wash my face with people around etc, I always have to look in the mirror and check. I feel like everyone can tell that I am EYELASHLESS. I am so unconfident / selfconscious when I dont have them. When they growback in, I feel so happy - I want to think that I will never pull again but eventually I pull them out again & feel disgusting again. I do not tell my friends or boyfriend. I dont want him to know. I dont know how to explain it. I avoid so many situations in fear of being discovered... I did not take my daughter to the beach once all summer or go with my friends in fear of my makeup washing off when swimming. Why cant I stop? Why has this been happening for so long? I just want to be pull free. I have NO lashes & brows far more than I ever have them. I keep trying therapy, hypnosis, medication - NO LUCK. I use a topical hair growth serum from my dermatologist. I just want to stop pulling. How can it ever stop? It is out of control.
I am a high school student and not sure whether I belong here or not. I have been doing research on Trichotillomania for sometime as my assignment and saw this website. I thought I might help some of you by giving this website info, where I have found some important things about Trich.
"Trichotillomania Learning Center · About TTM & Treatment: Introduction"
I have more websites, but I just don't whether to put it in or not, because I know that all you have done more research than I did.
it's nice to hear that im not the only one with this problem but at the same time i'm sadden to know that other people have this problem. wow everyone is saying how they pull their eyelashes out, well me i do it all from the hair on my head to my eyelashes to my eyebrows. i hate it i feel like a freak. i have to pencil in my eyebrows and i'm no artist so everyone is always saying why i pencil them in. and i always get the same question "why dont you ever wear your hair down?" if they only knew. the hardest part about me picking is noone knows, not even my boyfriend of six years. he tells me that i better wear my hair down on our wedding day. the longest i've gone without hair pulling is two months and one day i said i'm just gonna pull one and that was it before i knew there it was! a bald spot. i always say why me, why do i do this. my confidence has gone way down. i have long beautiful hair but it is always held up by a ponytail. my big brown eyes are covered by glasses cause i wont dare wear contacts and my eyebrows are penciled in. i look like a clown. i hope that one day we can all over come this so good luck to all and i'll be praying for us.
I have been pulling since I was about 8 and 8 years later I still am! I am so sick of this, I just want to stop, I want to be able to wear mascara, I want to be able to go swimming, I don't want to feel ashamed anymore! Does anyone know of ANYTHING that might work. I am open to absoulutely anything! I'm glad to know I'm not alone, or a freak. Trust me I feel all of your pain! I know how hard it is. You just can't stop, and for many of us this problem has been going on for years, and years. You just can't stop. I'm also scared that if I dont stop now my lashes will stop growing permanently! Please someone help me, I don't know what to do!?!
I have found a weird way of stopping myself when I go to pull my from eyes and head. When you find your hand going up or touching your hair,
* tap five times on your forehead, then
* five times on the apples of your cheek (any cheek),
* then with both hands tap the side of your palm with the other hand under your little finger (as if you were doing a karate chop)(five times),
and then the urge to pull has gone. I know this sounds so odd, but if like me you only pull on your own, it won't feel silly. Try it, and see.
Dear Kayla,
I have been pulling my eyelashes for a year now.I hate it.I tried your "weird way" of resisting an urge and it worked!Really,it did.I just wanted you to know that it's not weird.I will do it more often now!Thank you!
Whoops.I meant to say,Dear Jo.Sorry.
I Have Been Pulling Out My Eyelashes For 20 Years. I Started Out On My Head And Then Stopped And Moved Onto Just My Eyelashes. I Guess I Do It When I Get Stressed Out.istopped Trying To Quit Years Ago.
Im glad that its working for you Amy, let me know how you get on with this method.
If anyone else is using my 'weird way' of trying to stop, please write. Im just glad that I can be of some help.
Hey all - I am 41 yrs old and have been pulling since I was seven. I stopped pulling at age sixteen and have been a "controlled" puller eversince. We all share many similarities with our condition - stress, time we started, remedies, etc. These characteristics are amazing. Not to mention the fact that we all have felt like "the only one in the world" who does this. Let's all keep in touch and keep supporting eachother. I will pray for all of you - prayer does help - just don't expect eyelashes the next day after a long apology to God the night before! (like I did at age eight). For you younger troops - hang in there. Your hair, eyelashes and brows WILL grow back, but as you get older, everything takes a bit longer. Keeping busy helps me a lot. We all have willpower - but many of us have not tapped into it in our teen years. Keep trying not to pull. Be proud of yourself when you haven't and be determined to try again when you have (don't beat yourself up so much!).
Take care everyone and please feel free to respond.
Melissa in New Hampshire
wow. yes i have done this for years. i have found that i have been able to stop when i allow my lashes to grow back to a decent length.. then i see how much better i look and feel and i really don't touch them. of course, i have always relapsed, but i have found lots of ways to get them to grow in the meantime... just to be able to pull them out again =( there is an eyedrop for glaucoma called travatan that spurns eyelash growth very quickly, and i have been using that recently to help them grow (it really works!). i spoke to an opthlalmologist and i used to be an opthalmic tech, so i know there are no negative side effects of using this drop on a fairly regular basis, although i haven't used it for more than a couple of months at at time. once i see the improvements, i cut my first two fingernails on each hand down to practically nonexistent length (hard for a lot of girls but not for me.) i hope that i will able to keep this up long enough so that i will see the results and not pull again. i did this near the end of high school, and i was so happy i didn't pull for nearly 3 years. maybe, just maybe, i can do it again for good...?
I'm middle-aged. That means that I have been around for a looooong time. In all that time, I've not run into anyone with my problem! There doesn't seem to be any help out there for adults. I have found pediatric studies - but nothing for the grups. Maybe it is because there isn't any "pill" for trich? Or maybe because we are so hidden that no one realizes how many of us are suffering in secret? I dunno. ..
Hey Ette - I'm "middle-aged" too (almost 42), but don't feel that way most of the time! I made a recent post to Cody's current post. You should go and check it out. I found this website: www.essentialdayspa.com and all these women are talking about eyelash and eyebrow growth accelorators. I got some the other day at CVS. It's by Ardell and only cost $4.00. I am a controlled puller, so I have many eyelashes, yet they are sparse and thin. This stuff is supposed to stimulate growth, therefore, your existing eyelashes look thicker. You should all give it a try - even if you don't have any lashes! Also, like you, since I found this site, I have not pulled AT ALL. I feel like I owe it to the younger troops out there to try real hard and be an example of hope. Keep your eye on the prize everyone - we ALL want pretty lashes. Also, to Jo from the UK - I tried your "tapping" exercise and I think that motion actually takes the physical urge out of my hands, which makes me feel better about myself and keeps me goal-oriented. Everyone - hang in there. We've come this far...
Melissa from New Hampshire
Thanks Melissa i'm going to check that website out. Ive been doing it about 8 years. My eyes are my nicest feature, but im just ruining them, i want t look pretty and not have to spend about £40 a week buying fake eyelashes. I could have bought so much with that money :S
I'll try that site, i feel if i can just get them back to normal, then i will stop.
Thanks
xxxx
Hi Sarah - I just want you to know that I don't think the women chatting on that website have trich (if they do, they're not saying). Anyhow, most of them have eyelashes - some have outrageously lush lashes and some are like me - sparse and thin. But the bottom line here is that they are all getting eyelash and eyebrow growth from these products. So for those of you out there who don't have any lashes at all - give it try! It can't hurt and it's only four bucks!Be sure to read all their stories. I've been using the Ardell for 3 days now. Nothing new that I can see yet, but I'm not pulling AT ALL either. Another product that they talk about on that site is Dreamlash. They say you can get it at Walmart for $10, but I didn't find it, so I bought it from a website (don't remember what the site it, but they talk about it at essentialdayspa.com). Lastly, there is one more product the women are RAVING about - it's called Lucia Essence and is only available in Japan. The cost is $28 a vial. Again, you can read all the posts and find out how you can get Lucia. There is one women on the site who seems to know A LOT about all these products. Her username is carekate. Read her messages about how she prepares a "cocktail" of various products and applies them. Oh, btw, you have to register to get into the site, but it's free! But, remember: we ALL know how long it takes to start growing lashes again after pulling, so you must be patient; don't expect overnite results. This sure beats what I was looking into a couple weeks ago: something called Lavish Lashes. A salon here in New Hampshire does this and the cost is $300.00!!!! Screw that. But I was hoping that if I had that done, it would help to prevent me from pulling. So,instead I'm going to try these products and will keep you all posted. Everyone have a FABULOUS day!!
Melissa in New Hampshire
Hi Sarah - I just want you to know that I don't think the women chatting on that website have trich (if they do, they're not saying). Anyhow, most of them have eyelashes - some have outrageously lush lashes and some are like me - sparse and thin. But the bottom line here is that they are all getting eyelash and eyebrow growth from these products. So for those of you out there who don't have any lashes at all - give it try! It can't hurt and it's only four bucks!Be sure to read all their stories. I've been using the Ardell for 3 days now. Nothing new that I can see yet, but I'm not pulling AT ALL either. Another product that they talk about on that site is Dreamlash. They say you can get it at Walmart for $10, but I didn't find it, so I bought it from a website (don't remember what the site it, but they talk about it at essentialdayspa.com). Lastly, there is one more product the women are RAVING about - it's called Lucia Essence and is only available in Japan. The cost is $28 a vial. Again, you can read all the posts and find out how you can get Lucia. There is one women on the site who seems to know A LOT about all these products. Her username is carekate. Read her messages about how she prepares a "cocktail" of various products and applies them. Oh, btw, you have to register to get into the site, but it's free! But, remember: we ALL know how long it takes to start growing lashes again after pulling, so you must be patient; don't expect overnite results. This sure beats what I was looking into a couple weeks ago: something called Lavish Lashes. A salon here in New Hampshire does this and the cost is $300.00!!!! Screw that. But I was hoping that if I had that done, it would help to prevent me from pulling. So,instead I'm going to try these products and will keep you all posted. Everyone have a FABULOUS day!!
Melissa in New Hampshire
thanks a lot i will definately have a look, trouble is im into animal rights and i dont agree with using cosmetics which are tested on animals, so i'll have to find out whether or not it is, this could be a hard decision :( Hope you start seeing some results soon xxxxxxxx
I was going to a Chinese healer for over a year, once a week. I never mentioned trich. They showed me the "tapping" thing and it works for a lot on conditions (most of which I forget) like sinus headache, tobacco urge, upset stomach, vertigo. You can tap right between your eyes, between your eyebrows. Do it for awhile, and then tap on the sinus cavity on either side of your face - or both at the same time. Thump with middle finger. Don't be afraid to experiment by tapping on your chest bones, wrists, etc. You won't hurt yourself. BTW, I tried it for pulling this week and it really helped. Thank you for reminding me about it!
Just stop pulling out your hair... What a bunch of freaks.
Alex - guess that makes you a freak too if you're on this website. Loser.
I have been pulling my eyelashes for about a year now and i cant seem to stop even though i really want to and I am 15 yrs old.My mom gets really mad at me and tells me just to stop but, it is not that easy at all. I need to stop so will one of you give some advice?
Hi Heidi - you can read some of my earlier posts about my struggles with eyelash pulling. Please have your mom read my entries too. Also, Mom, I understand your bewilderment. But it doesn't help Heidi at all if you show anger towards her. Support for her, discussion and being non-judgemental will help her. If you would like to respond and I am sure you have many questions, please email me, or respond to this forum. I too was once a 15 year old young girl with this problem. It is bizarre, but now I am 41, still struggling, but controlling it. Take care Heidi, hang in there and try not to pull. Use the "tapping" exercise mentioned by Jo from the UK. IT REALLY HELPS!!! Feel free to email me privately as well.
Melissa
My parents were hard on me too when I first started pulling my eyelashes, and it was only recently that I actually found out there was a name for what we had (what a relief - i'm not nuts). I would cry myself to sleep because I wanted to stop but couldn't, but now I have found a way to at least stop the urge to pull and it seems to be working. I still wonder now 21 years on how it all started, but there is no use in thinking about the past but to try and focus on the future. My 'tapping' method has worked so far, and I have a whole top left lid of lashes and it feels soooooo good.
My parents REALLY knocked me around over my pulling. And there was no Child Protective Agency back then, so I had nekked eyelids and a black and blue rearend, too. Plus a mean sister who assigned herself to the Verbal/Emotional Abuse Committee and would only refer to me as "Eyelashes" or "Turtle eyes". So, I am asking all parents to understand that being strict or mean WILL NOT STOP THE PULLING. We don't know what causes it, and we don't know how to stop. We might find out that it is caused by a chromazonal flaw, or a brain chemical reaction to our childhood immunizations. or mercury in dental fillings. We just don't know. I know I come here to learn about new ideas, and to not feel alone.
And I really hope that the parents get what I am saying.
Your child won't remember the name of every kid at school that teased them about pulling, but you can believe that they will remember how YOU treated them.
Ette - Nicely said. It is true. My parents were either silent about it (recommended by the doctors) or abusive, especially my father. Can you imagine being a little child, not knowing WHY you do this and then being knocked down becuz you do? Talk about COMPLETELY ruining the on-set of self-esteem. I am the mother of a nine year old son and cannot IMAGINE beating on him if he did this (which, thankfully, he doesn't). So, Moms and Dads out there: please be compassionate. Your son or daughter is going through a rough time already - can you imagine how they feel at school and how much they get picked on (like I did)? Be their comfort zone, be the ones they can talk to after a really bad day at school. And I know you love them no matter what. Hey - I should be on Dr. Phil. :)
Melissa
I am shocked and relieved that there are so many others that pull their eyelashes like I do. I didn't know that there was even a name for this until tonight. I see myself in all of you and the experiences you write about mirror my own and give me chills to know I am not alone. I have been pulling my eyelashes and eyebrows since I was about 12 years old and pulled them all completely out when I was a freshman in high school. I don't pull any other hair, just eyelashes and eyebrows. Everyone thought I was a freak, I didn't know why I did it, it just felt good. I told everyone that I used an eyelash curler after putting mascara on and they stuck to it and came out. It took SO long for them to grow back and I found myself pulling them again after they got long enough to grab. I pull with my fingers, never tweezers. I am extremely embarrassed and ashamed of this and no one knows. Even writing this right now feels so weird because I'm being completely honest. I'm so tired of having to lie and try to cover up the huge gaps in my lashes with eyeliner and no amount of eyeliner can make you look normal when you have no eyelashes at all. I always pull at night, when I get home from work and I'm stressed out from a long day and I still have so much to do because I'm a single mother of two. Pretty much the moment I get in the door, the overwhelming feeling of needing to pull begins. It's such a stress reliever and it feels so good. I love to see how many I can get out, and when a whole clump comes out, this high comes over me. I think I do it at night because I'm so stressed out then and I always have mascara on, so the lashes come out so much easier. I usually don't get any out if I don't have mascara on. I get a better grip on them and they come out several at a time. By the end of the day, I can feel the lashes that want to come out, it sounds weird I know, but it's like they're trying to push themselves out and I'm just helping them. It's like a tingling feeling, then I pull them and sure enough they come out and it feels SO much better. Then when I stop my eyes look awful and I cry and get so angry at myself. I feel so stupid and ashamed that I don't just stop, because now I look so bad. I'm 24 now and I pull every day, but I haven't pulled them ALL out since that time that I was a freshman in high school. That was so traumatic to not have any lashes and be made fun of so much. I swear I'd never do that again. I pull every day and I get a few out of both eyes and then I stop...only because no more will come out. So my lashes are just thin and sometimes bald in spots....easily concealed with mascara and liner though. It's been getting worse lately though all of a sudden and I've been pulling harder and harder. I've had some bigger gaps in the last few weeks. Now tonight, I just pulled them all out...every last one. I've been really stressed out lately and I just kept pulling until there was nothing left. I just zoned out and it felt good while I was doing it, it relieved the stress. Then it was over and I was even more stressed and my heart was racing...I was thinking, "Oh my God, I can't believe I just did that, what the hell are you thinking?!" It was a temporary escape for a few moments, with a long term effect now. How do I even go to work Monday looking like this? It was one thing when I was 14, but now I'm an adult and it's ten times as hard to have to face everyone like this. In my job, I see dozens of clients everyday, not to mention all my co-workers and everyone else. I got online to try to find false eyelashes and I came across all these websites talking about trichotillomania, I had no idea that there was a name for this and I truly believed that I was the only one on earth who struggled with this. I have to stop, this is ridiculous. It's just so overwhelming and in the moment I'm not thinking about the consequences, I'm just thinking about the feeling I'll get from it. I even pull my kids lashes and brows, not to the point where there's any noticable difference though. Just to get any that are "on their way out", you know, the ones that come out easily when you just pull gently once. Right now, I am vowing to myself to stop this. I don't want to do this anymore, and I don't want my children to develop it. I've got to find an alternate way to relieve my stress and feel good. I also think that if I wash my mascara off right when I get home, I won't pull it off and a bunch of lashes with it. I'm also going to try the tapping thing. I was reading that trich is thought to be associated with obsessive compulsive disorder, and maybe that's true. I don't think I'm OCD, but I've had people joke about it with me sometimes because I am so particular about organization, hand washing etc. and I'm a perfectionist. I've read about OCD though and I don't do things to that extreme. Maybe I do have it and it's just a mild case, I don't know. I've also been cracking my knuckles since I was little, because I saw my Dad do it. I've tried to stop that and I can't, it hurts if I don't. I don't do it under stress though, I just do it whenever they feel like they need to be popped, which is usually several times a day. Anyway, I just want to say that I've learned a lot tonight and feel somewhat better knowing there are people out there struggling with Trich too. I also found the eyelashes that I set out to find and they'll be here in a couple days. Then I guess it's just a waiting game for my real lashes to grow back. I'm not pulling anymore. I think if I say it outloud and write it here too, it'll help me keep my promise to myself. Being honest with myself and putting my feelings and thoughts into words has helped me face this problem. Now I just have to do the work to overcome this disorder. I wish you all the best of luck in overcoming it as well and thank you for your openness as you all have opened my eyes. I want to have long, thick lush eyelashes and I'm on a mission to get them and keep them. I'll keep you updated on my progress and I'll be praying for us all to have the strength, determination, and self control to beat this. God bless.
Shannon, you are SO obviously a fine, caring, expressive, intelligent and honest person.
I hope lots of people around you realize it - and that they wouldn't care if you pulled your very last hair. That said, we all are trying not to pull, and all have had to face the music (Monday mornings at work/school) when we go too far. I do hope your Monday (and the rest of the week) go just fine.
Hi.
This looks like a really helpful site. Please may I ask a bit of advice?
I know about the itch of the eyelashes BEFORE they get pulled, but has anyone who has gone pull-free found that they itch because they are growing back?
Also, has anyone ever decided to have them checked out by a doctor/optician and was that helpful? (I know that might feel really scary.)
Thanks
lil, I have gone pull free on eyelashes for long times. I found that putting vaseline on my eyes (at night) soothed the itch and urge, and every time my hand went to my eyes I felt the vaseline, and that reminded me of my goal. They grew back faster, too.
P.S. I have thought of a new phrase for us: "Pullers Remorse". No one else could know what pullers remorse is - except us. Maybe I'll write a book about trich and title it that?
That's a good suggestion. Thanks for your advice Ette!
I've (sadly) been a smoker for a large part of my life, but I was watching a bunch of people puffing away on their cigarettes at the bus stop yesterday, and I thought 'Now THAT REALLY IS seriously weird. Pay hundreds for the pleasure of something you can almost bet on will shorten your life, and will make you smelly with yellow teeth and a wrinkly mouth.'
But lots of people smoke. It's in the media. The government charge a tax on it. Hair pulling may be largely secret and misunderstood, and people that don't understand it often react in stupid and hurtful and unhelpful ways.
But in reality, hair pulling really is not that uncommon (with prevalence rates not dissimilar to anorexia, which I bet everyone has heard of) and frankly, compared to the other things as people we do to our bodies, not even a hundredth as dangerous.
It's just crazy. I'm the most normal 17 year old kid you could meet, likes football, plays sport, works in school, has loads of mates but I just have this one problem and its killing me. People say you can pinpoint a moment when the self-harm started, I don't think I can. I now know there are people out there like me, I just haven't met them as we like to keep ourselves well hidden.
I've been doing this for 7 years and just want to let go. I thought I had conquered it a year ago but in the past couple of weeks I've been through a pulling spree and it's worse than its been for years. I used to think 'I can't wait for when I'm 18 so I have enough will power to conquer this' but as my 18th birthday approaches there's no sign of fleeting pulling, infact it just got worse.
After reading everyone elses comments it seems as though I am to be burdened with this my whole life, or does anyone know of anyone who has stopped pulling for good?
I've just bought Abby Leora Rohrer's book on stopping, I pray it will work. Going to keep my head down for a couple of months and just work for my exams. Hopefully in that time they will have mainly grown back if i can get over the prickly stage without pulling.
David, We people who write in this site are the ones who haven't completely (or at all) stopped pulling. People who have stopped pulling would, therefore, not visit this site. I don't know if there IS a site for people to write "Hey, I used to pull out my lashes/brows/hair but I don't anymore." You are just reading one side of the story.
I personally stopped pulling out my eyelashes in the 9th grade and haven't pulled them out since.
They grew back and, actually, are so long and pretty that they now bring too much attention as I am still self-conscience about having any comments made about my eyes. I had been lashless for nine years until I stopped. I stopped because I made myself - because I wanted to be beautiful - and I had a best friend to cheer me on.
However, I did start pulling my hair out throughout my 20's. And still do, although not (now) enough for anyone to notice.
You have a lot on your plate, and I have read that trich sufferers are often overachievers.
Don't start labeling your future "DOOMED".
You are an individual, not a statistic.
Besides, the "statistics" say that many adolescents stop pulling in adulthood.
UPDATE: I haven't pulled AT ALL for 2 weeks now, since I wrote for the first time on this website. My lashes are growing back and they're about half the length they were, but sparse. It's going to take a month or two for them to completely fill in thick again. I see new lashes budding through every day. I had a real life changing experience...the night I found this site and discovered that others do this as well. I made a vow to completely stop and I'm sticking to it. I hate how I look without lashes and that's what is giving me the willpower to stop. I've been so self-conscience the last couple weeks and I don't like it at all. I am focusing on my job, my children and exercising to keep me on track. I'm determined to have long, thick lashes and then leave them alone! There is hope everyone, hang in there! I'll keep you posted.
wow...this has been really interesting to read some of these comments...tonight was my first night looking into this habit of mine...it's really weird...and i always thought that i was the only one cause i never saw anybody ever pull out there eyelashes...but my eyelid will get irritated and i pull out an eyelash and it feels great and i'll pull another one when the irritation comes back and i'll keep pulling and i like to look at the little white end...but sometimes it's just a little black bulb (why is that?)...like right now i have this gap in my right eye where i've pulled tonight...i'm a little self conscious about it but i have little bitty eyelashes (probably because i've been doing this for so long) but what really is the cause of this...i've heard that it's stuff like mascara but i don't wear any make-up...what is it, and why do i do it?
I have been traveling the internet and found a couple of interesting sites: www.stephiesmith.com. She has trich and has some good thoughts, she recommends an excellent false eyelash glue, and has a link on her site for www.trichotillomania.co.uk. You fill out a questionaire, you can find a trich-buddy your age, and learn not to pull - while not beating yourself up for set-backs. They are saying that you CAN learn to be permanently pull-free. David, there ARE sites where people write about beating trich - and nearly 270K people have visited it!
Hi, I am 11 years old and have been pulling for about a year and a half. I have almost fully grown my old beautiful eyelashes 5 times and I always pull them all out in a week or so afterwards. If you have some ideas to stop please email me with them! Also I have worn mittens and they do help until you don't have them and start again!
To Make It Stop, the site I found last night is: www.trichotillomania.co.uk. There seem to be a lot of good ideas there. I don't know anything about these people other than they are in the United Kingdom, and they are offering practical advice on stopping. I am going to go check it out again - and see what kind of advice they are giving parents, kids, and adults. ..I can't see any harm in trying them out. They want a questionaire filled out about how often you pull, from where, and what seems to set pulling off. I can tell you what has worked for me. I have used this technique to break other bad habits, too. Instead of telling myself that I'm not going to do (fill in the blank) anymore, I say to myself. "I don't do it". "I don't. I don't". I don't". It seems to give me more willpower than saying "I WON'T do it anymore". I can convince myself that I simply DO NOT DO IT. I do lots of self-talk. "ME!!? I don't DO that! I do not. I'm offended! I do NOT do that!." (I know it sounds silly.)
I am 35 years old and I am an eyelash puller.... I started when I was 13. I stopped for about 4 years and had really pretty long lashes, but recently I changed jobs after a very stressful Christmas and before I knew it my eyelids were virtually bald! I feel so sick about it and I don't even want to go out of the house! I feel like everyone is looking at me, but are too polite to say anything, but I can tell by the look on their faces. I read somewhere in the above posts that a lot of you consider yourselves to be relatively pretty, and I think I would be too, if I could keep my lashes! I feel so ugly and self concious! I bought fake lashes the other day, but they seemed to look even more ridiculous than having none at all! They looked so obvious... I am absolutely heart-broken about this all...My boyfriend doesn't understand, he just thinks it's wierd.
I was doing a google search for an answer to whether eye lashes grow back when i came across the word "trichotillomania." I had never heard of that word before and decided to look it up. "Disorder characterized by compulsive hair or eyelash pulling." I then did research on it and found this website. In elementary school, at the age of about 10, I had a bad habit of pulling out my eye brow hairs. I had thick eye brows then so the hair-less patches were easily noticeable. My mom noticed these patches and freaked out. She didn't want other people noticing, so she started covering it up with eyeliner at times and on school picture days. Frustrated with my habit, she decided to tightly wrap a bandanna around my forehead to stop me from touching the area. I wore it for a month or so and my habit went away. But it was in 6th grade where I found a new area to obsess over. I remember sitting in back of one of my friends and noticing her pulling her eye lashes out. I told her to stop, that she didn't want her eyes going bald. She told me she couldn't help it. Four months later, I started playing with and tugging out my eye lashes as well and understood how she felt. It was exam time, and I remember I pulled out so many that part of my eye was bald. I never liked wearing eye make-up, but stole my mom's eyeliner in an attempt to cover it up. I felt embarrassed and didn't want anyone noticing. But I liked pulling them out and looking at how long they were and then rubbing them between my fingers. I started doing it in class without noticing, during which my friends started to ask me why I did it so much. My best friend hated and still hates seeing me do it. She said it looked nasty and weird seeing the skin of my eye being stetched that far. I told her I couldn't help it, that my eye lashes "itched." She didn't understand, probably because there's just no word to describe the feeling. Reaching adolescence, I really want to stop. My eye lashes were known for being long, black, and thick, and I was always complemented on them. People always ask if I'm wearing mascara. I remember always being yelled at by my dad and accused of wearing make-up, and when I'd wash my eyes to prove I wasn't, he'd tell me he wasn't dumb, that I had the "water-proof kind off of the tv." Now I regret starting this habit in the first place and imagine how my eye lashes would be if I hadn't started. My mom always told me that people put on fake lashes for eyes like mine and never understood why I couldn't control myself. But the problem is, I do it without noticing. My mom and friends tell me when I do and when I realize it, I stop. Reading that continual disruption of the hair follical may cause permanent hair loss and thiner hair really freaks me out and gives me more of a reason to stop. I was completely surprised when I randomly found out this was an actual condition. My friends always thought I was weird for pulling out my eye lashes, especially since girls usually wish for more. Reading other people's stories made me feel.. fuzzy? inside. It felt so weird suddenly discovering I've had a condition all these years and that other people have been doing and feeling the exact things I've been. I always thought it wasn't that big of a deal, that I just did it when I was bored or while studying and that I could stop if I really wanted to. Now trying, I realize it's not that easy. I'm going to try Habit-reversal training, a treatment I found while researching trichtillomania. It states, "The patient should institute competing responses. The competing response should be incompatible with hair pulling (e.g. making tight fists and holding for 2 mins). I already have been trying to stop and when I'd have the urge to pull my eye lashes, I'd push them up with my fingers instead, kind of like what an eye curler does. It doesn't make the urge go away completely, but it helps. I'm glad I found this site, and I'm really thankful for all the people who have posted their stories. I know I'll eventually stop, I'm just afraid that by the time I do, I won't have any eye lashes to save.
Yes, they will grow back, even if you have been pulling for decades and decades. This site is full of people who know what they are talking about. I found this 'paper' by a moron-doctor from Korea, Chull Wan Ihm. According to this duffus, we are all permanently hairless in every place we've ever pulled. It is obvious that he doesn't know what he is talking about. I'll stick here, with people who DO know what they are talking about, and will try the new suggestions as they come in.
Hey fellow pullers. Listen I've been struggling for as long as I can remember. Hair, eyelashes still not all good, but everyday is a new one and I have gone for periods of 12 months or so. I think the secret is, get out of routine. Do something different, I travelled, yes lucky, but I also met new friends and did different things and my mind was there looking forward to the next day, not on that moment lying in bed. Word of advice though, your eyelashes will be stunted if you continue. I have a spot on each eye now where the eyelashes have stopped growing and have remained stubby. Look after yourselves.
a little advice about stopping the awfull pulling on the brows and the lashes set your mind on something else that is what i did when i had habbits like that i am 10 years old now .i wish all of you people can fight through this awfull habbit like i did
My Fellow Trichsters,
I think the best "cure" for Trich is to come to this site and read all of the heart breaking messages every day. I haven't found anything else that lessens the urge to pull more than reading about other people's personal struggles with this. Add your own story and when you are on the verge of a spree come here and read about how hopeless, helpless and ugly pulling makes you, and others with Trich, feel. I'm so thankful for the person who started this thread. Everytime I start to pull, I think about the person who posted "I can feel the panic through the screen ..." That small sentence really put this problem in to perspective for me. And I think about the desperation in these posts. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Be patient when you are waiting for regrowth. It won't happen over night ...
"If you are struggling according to God's will, keep on doing what is right (i.e. not pulling) and trust yourself to the God who made you for He will NEVER fail you." - 1 Peter 4:19
I just realized that I have been plucking and playing w/ my eyelashes for years. It seems to calm me down and distract me from stressors. I do not pluck until there all gone but some times they look wierd and will have to put extra mascara on one. I'm trying to figure out if this is a disorder. It's like if I see one going in a different direction or a thicker texture I feel the urge to play with it and sometimes I will tug. If i see someone else w/ an eyelash out of place I will want to play w/ it. Is this a mild form of Trich?
UPDATE: I was really proud of myself up until two days ago when just out of nowhere I pulled loads of lashes from my top left lid. Im really angry with myself because I was doing so well. I am going to keep on trying because I KNOW that I can do it. Is it me or does stubby lashes want to make you pull even more?
To Jo-UK,
Congratualtions on holding off on the plucking as I know that is quite difficult!!!
Yes, I too find that when the stubbys grow in they are usually thicker and do not blend well w/ the other lashes therefore you wanna tug.
THANK GOODNESS FOR THIS WEBSITE!!! I started plucking at the tender age of eight, and I am seventeen now. I always thought that I was literally the ONLY PERSON to have this disorder. I assumed everyone had eyelashes and eyebrows. I first heard about trichotillomania from a CosmoGirl magazine. I was just like "Thank You!! Somebody other than me has this!" My family often chastise me about the baldness, and whenever I see some of my family members they'll come really close to my face to look into my eyes. I immediately turn my head to look at something else. I showed my mom a bunch of information about trichotillomania, and she feels that it's just a "bad habit". She does not believe that this could be a serious problem. I get so offended because I know it's much more than that. This may sound corny, but I'm tearing up because now I know that there are people out there who are just as self conscious about it as I am. Friends think I am pretty, and my mom tries to boost my self esteem all the time. My plan is to become an actress/model. How will makeup artists put on my makeup if I have no eyelashes and eyebrows!!?? But I know that I won't reach full happiness until I can overcome this disorder. I think that my stress could be triggering my trich (why should I be stressed at 17? Besides senior year, college, prom, pictures, grades, my ANNOYING MOM...), so I am willing to do ANYTHING TO STOP. I would give up my left breast; I know, it's a little extreme, but by the tone that I am talking should suggest that I am that serious and desperate. Thanks for listening. P.S.- Why does it seem like no one has heard of trichotillomania?
Dear Courtney, I have wondered about some of the things you mentioned. Like whether there are celebrities who have to have special make-up artists to hide their pulling sprees. I suspect that there are. After all, being famous IS stress. We are always reading about (famous) anorexics, drug/alcohol addicts, ragers, and all the other ways the celebs mishandle their stress. Maybe no one famous has confessed about trich because it is just too embarassing and rare. Which is kind of funny, really, since famous people will confess to ANYTHING (stuffing gerbils up their butt?), but no one will talk about trich. Maybe it's because the admission would go something like this: "I pull my eyelashes out". Q: "Why?. A: "I don't know why." Q:"But, why do you do it?" A: "I don't know. I just can't help myself. I get this overwhelming urge. I can feel it. It wants to come out. It tingles, it feels loose, thicker, coarser. I want to look at the bulb. Rub it on my lips. Save it. Then, another lash feels just exactly the same way. It has to come out. Right now. Another. Another.
Oh, look what I've done. A gap! Now I have to pull them all." Q: "Alrighty, then. I just remembered! I have to be (anywhere but near you)". And THAT, girlfriend, is why you never hear about trich.
I hate mirrors. I need makeup to survive. I feel like I'm stuck in a whirlpool and everytime I try to pull myself out I go right in the middle again. I have stubs for eyelashes, basically my eyes are covered with eyeliner. I have bald spots and small eyebrows covered with eyebrow pencil. I feel so disguisting all the time and I'm trying to recover. When I'm not pulling my lashes, out comes the hair. I need help, no one can do this alone. I want to wear mascara again, I hate eyeliner. I hate looking around a room and being the only one with a problem, hopefully, I'm not alone.
I’ve been pulling my eyelashes since I was 11 and I’m now 22. It’s very strange how it started because I remember sitting in class one day in the 6th grade and I began playing with my eyelashes and something felt good about that. After that I kept on and on until I began to pull them. I feel like I relate so well to everyone who has posted. I have good days and bad days. I definitely pull more on days when I’m really stressed. I get these urges to pull and when I finally give in I feel really relieved for a few minutes and then when I begin to look in the mirror and I see what I’ve done I begin to hate myself. I feel like I’m apart of a never ending cycle. I’ll go for a while and they’ll grow back enough that I can cover most of the gaps with mascara but then something will happen or I’ll begin to feel stubble poking through and I’ll try to get to those but while trying to get to those I end up pulling the others out too and cause these big gaps. I’ve found that the little stubble that grows in bothers me worse than anything because I generally don’t want to pull the lashes that look fully grown but the little stubbly ones drive me crazy and I just feel like they have to come out. I’ve been reading the posts on here for a while and I’ve tried some of the techniques that have worked for other people and they just don’t seem to work for me. I thought maybe if I actually come out and talked about how I felt that might help. It’s embarrassing for me to talk about this with my friends and family because they just don’t understand. My mom thinks that I stopped pulling a long time ago and it’s pretty easy for me to hide it from her because I go to college away from home and now I feel like I can’t talk to her about it because I’ve hid it from her for so long now. I just want to encourage everyone to keep trying and thank you all for your posts and helping people like me not feel so alone.
I have been reading everyones postings. I started sometime back in elementary school. I remember people asking me if my lashes were real because they were so long. I used to pull them out to show them they were real. I have found that by pulling one, it can cause a chain reaction almost like setting off or triggering an attack (as I refer to them as). To me, one is irritated/hurting and the only way to make it stop or feel better is to pull it out, but then others get pulled and then they begin to hurt, or one gets turned into your eye and before you know it... Bald Spots! Over the past many years, I have found some things that help me to keep from pulling. As soon as I feel "An Attack" or irritation coming on, I wash my face and remove all makeup. I have anti-histamine eyedrops that I use (they are o/c at most drug stores)I forbid myself to rubbing or touching my eyes. If they are still irritated, I have tried vaseline or neosporin with the pain reliever. I have found that if I do this at the onset, I usually have very few casualties. I can go many months to years without an episode that resorts to the eyeliner filling in the gaps. I try to stay away from mascara if my attacks are frequent. I find that if I don't act promptly, I am usually faced with that run to the mirror to see what damage has been done. I had never come across anyone else that suffered from this* and like most of you, I found this site beneficial. However,about 10 years ago, I found my biological mother, and discovered that she too suffers with this. I have two sons, and guess what, my oldest, now 13, is doing the same thing. I contribute my problem to be related to #1, allergies, #2 stress/nerves, and #3 hereditary(inherited).
Hi Everyone! I have an encouraging update! I haven't pulled now since pulling all my lashes out on Feb. 10! Over a month has gone by and my lashes are finally grown back completely! There aren't any gaps and they're thick and pretty long! They'll just keep getting longer now. It's been a really rough last few weeks, but I feel like I'm past the most difficult time. I hated the stubs and it's been a real struggle not to mess with them. When they started to grow back, some grew in faster and thicker and my eyes looked weird with patches of stubs and patches of baldness. I had to use a lot of eyeliner and I have avoided letting anyone get too close to my face so they wouldn't notice. I have been extremely self-conscience though and every time someone made eye contact with me, I just knew they noticed and were thinking, "What's wrong with her eyes?" It's SO good to feel confident and beautiful again. It's so nice to put mascara on and see beautiful, lush eyelashes again. That's what gave me the strength to stop...focusing on the outcome. I kept focusing on how awful I've always felt about myself after I pull. Finding this site that night, pouring my heart out, and really being honest about this problem is what changed everything for me. I finally knew that I wasn't the ONLY ONE ON EARTH suffering from this. I had always felt that way...so different, so weird, so ashamed. I don't want to EVER feel like that again. I just have to be stronger than the urge and be IN CONTROL of my behavior. Every day is a struggle, but I am determined to beat this! I have found other outlets for my stress, healthy ones, like exercise and I'm taking a dance class now too. I am really focused on my career and my children and our future. I only want to focus on things that are going to be positive, not detrimental. Life is too short. I just don't have time to pull and I don't want to. I want to keep feeling good about myself and not go to that dark place anymore. When I feel like I need to pull, I come to this site and read what I wrote that night in February and everyone else's stories too. It helps me maintain my strength and remind me of why I can't pull anymore. A lot of great things are happening now as my whole outlook has changed. I just got a major career advancement and we're moving! I also just bought a brand new house, it's still under construction and will be done in May! My children are SO excited and this is an absolute dream come true for us. Also, my 6 year old son was just accepted into a phenomenal new charter school! He and my 3 year old little girl are thriving and so happy! I want to provide the best life for them and give them the BEST OF MYSELF as the mother they deserve! I have become my own best friend and it feels great to hold myself to a higher standard and just do my best with what I have. We all can do that, it's just a matter of finally wanting to change and taking the first big step. I was never ready before and you really have to be ready...TRULY FED UP and DETERMINED to change the pattern. Finally admitting to myself that my pulling was a REAL problem was the first step. Then you have to find what works for YOU, what's important to you and how bad you want it. Here is something I read everyday that I thought you all might like too:
What will today bring?
This is the beginning of a new day.
It is mine to use as I will.
I can waste it or use it for good.
What I do today is important, because I'm exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever...leaving in its place something I have traded for it.
I want it to be a gain, not a loss.
Good, not evil; Success, not failure.
In order that I shall not regret the price I paid for it - Because the future is just a whole string of NOWS.
Make every day count!
Here's to a life-changing 2006!
God Bless,
Shannon
Shannon, your update was great inspiration! I caught the tailend of some talk show yesterday - something about a man who has started a trend for people who are keeping secrets. The person with the secret can tell it, anonymously, and get it off their chest. Something about sending a postcard somewhere. But, the part that got my attention was this: The man said that, when people keep a secret about themselves, they feel that their loved ones don't really love them because 'they' don't know the 'real me'. He said that, by releasing that secret to another human being, without fear of being rejected, allows healing to begin. Right away, I thought of this site. And how coming here and being honest about trich has helped me beyond words. Like most of you, I cannot discuss this problem to outsiders. Total loss of credibility (professionally and personally), and rejection combine to make even hinting at trich to a doctor or friend impossible. I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that I am NOT all alone. I really enjoy reading of each of your victories. I guess this is our version of the anonymous postcard. I feel blessed.
hey... i'm not in very good condition trich-wise right now and if anyone has advice for me to stop my problem, i'd love to hear it.
Hi, I am 20 years old and I have been pulling my eyelashes out since I was 11. When I was growing up I always thought that I was the only person that did this but now I see that Im not/wasnt alone. There were times when I was younger that people would constantly question me about not having any eyelashes and it would literally get on my nerves and make me feel like I was different than the other kids. But I have always had confidence in myself even though I don't have eyelashes but I want them so bad because I feel as if having some will make me feel complete. I always tell myself that I will let them grow but once I actually start to let them I start to pluck them out again. Lately Ive been trying a product by Talika that helps you grow your lashes back. Its a gel-like substance that you apply like mascara twice a day. It only cost like $20. It works but its a really slow progress but it does help the eyelashes grow faster. Have any of you tried wearing false eyelashes? If you have I would like to know how you felt wearing them and would you just prefer to let yours grow instead?
I have worn false lashes before and I didn't get on well with them as it felt like I had two catepillars on my eyes so now I just stick to wearing lots of eyeliner and dark eyeshadow as it covers the fact I have little lashes.
I think us trichsters would be fabulous make-up artists, as we have taught ourselves to cover such things, like having no lashes.
I have just bought some Talika over the internet, and will update you on my progress.
I actually want to be a makeup artist for movies when I'm a bit older... because I've learned every possible way of making it LOOK like I have eyebrows and eyelashes... even thought it's just makeup.
Like everyone else on this site, I had no idea there was a name for this disorder and I felt like the only one who suffered from it. As someone else mentioned, my mom considered this to be a "bad habit". It all started one day when I was about 7 or 8 (I'm 19 now) and my mom had driven me to McDonald's to get a happy meal and I was sitting in the back seat of the car. I had this urge to just pull out my eyelashes and see what it looked like. I have no idea why or what caused me to do such a thing, but I did.. and outcame my long, pretty eyelashed on my fingers. I looked into the mirror once I got home and realized I had the bald spot I imagined in my mind. I was mortified because I knew my mom would notice and she would KILL me!! Surely enough, she noticed. She was talking to me and then all of a sudden in the middle of her sentence, she squinted her eyes and leaned closer to me and asked me what the hell I had just done to myself and practically panicked. I continued to pull and every once in a while, she'd catch me and scold me for doing it. I remember the tone in her voice when I withdrew my hand knowing she had just seen me. "Were you pulling out your eyelashes again? ... Don't lie to me..." I was so ashamed of myself, yet I loved feeling the new, stubbly eyelashes grow in and I'd just have this urge that I HAD to pull them out because they were out of place or "didn't look right". A year or two later, I finally started lying to her so she wouldn't scold me. I never actually told her I stopped pulling, though. She'd just ask me if I was pulling them out and I'd simply reply with a "No". She would always look at me and examine my eyes and say things like, "I guess your eyelashes just won't grow anymore... you must've damaged the root... I wonder if there's any surgery to help implant something." I usually wouldn't say anything. I still pull to this day, and I could NOT tell my mom I have been all along or she'd be so disappointed in me and think I'm a freak. I still have eyelashed on the outsides of my eyes and very little toward the inner side. The gap is very large and noticeable, so I am very self-conscious about going out in public or even around friends without eye makeup. Eyeliner became my best friend many years ago. Again, like many other people on this site... I am horripilating from reading the things you guys have posted here. I am sitting here thinking, "Wow, that's exactly what I've gone through" or "I know what he/she is talking about!". It is such a relief knowing I'm not alone. I want long, pretty eyelashes like my mom so I can wear mascara, and for days I don't want to wear eyeliner and mascara... I can just walk out the door and feel like me--confident. Thank you guys so much for having this website here. The success story I read above makes me feel like I do have potential even though I have the urge to pull. My mom lost all of her hair when taking chemo for breast cancer and everything grew back except the armpit where her right breast was removed. Her eyelashes look as long and pretty as ever and to be honest, they were the first thing that grew back along with her eyebrows. I've been told that I have really pretty eyes, but I think to myself... if only they can see them without this eye make-up.. this eyeliner I use everyday to conceal the oddity caused by my psychological disorder. I wish you all good luck in prevention of pulling. Please wish me luck as well. I'm seriously going to try to keep my hands away from my eyes (as many times as I've told myself this before), but at least I know now that my eyelashes CAN grow back to full length. I have something to motivate me. Thanks again. =)
OMG IAM SO HAPPY THAT I HAVE FOUND PEOPLE LIKE ME!!! iam nealry 17 years old and i have been pulling my eyelashes out since i was 6 years old.....i have always been picked on for pulling them out....i ended up really depressed..i couldn't go anywhere coz everyone would notice and say something...i even felt like killing myself...but i new that was just stupid..i hate it when people get to close to my face...i have no respect for myself at all......i pulled my lashes out for about 10 years now...and last year i started pulling out my eyebrows..so i had to pencil them on...one day in class last year i had to speak infront of my class and a boy said to me infront of everyone? what happen to your eyelashes and eyebrows? everyone look that them she has none and she pencils her eyebrowns on....and everyone was laughing..i had never felt so imbarrassed in my life..i didn't come to school for a week..i just cried and cired i HATED myself...i thought i was the biggest freak in the world....i have tried soooo many times to stop but i never do....my eyebrows have actually grown back alot and i don't pull them out anymore..but i still pencil them on abit coz they havn't grown back fully. at the moment my eyelashes have grown back abit...and i have told myself that this time..i WILL NOT PULL THEM OUT!!! iam going overseas to see family in 5 weeks and i want them to be fullygrown so i can show my sister that they are back...and i want her to be proud of me..im giving it my all and i reckon i will finally have them back.
I've always plucked my eyelashes at some stage of my life I'm so over it i just wish i could find or do something to make them grow back faster my little girl said why do you look strange with no eyelashes where have they gone i felt sick on the stomach i don't look at people cause i don't want them to look at my eyes what can i do to make them grow faster
i hate myself. i can't stop tweezing my eyelashes out. i feel like they need to match perfectly. if one isn't going in the exact same direction or isn't the same length, it has to go. i can't stop. why can't i stop? i do the smae with my eyebrows, but i do that with my fingers, it's more of a nervous habit. i can't take it anymore.
I do it too. I started when I was 12. Eyelashes, brows, facial hair, chest hair. you name it - I've pulled it out.
It's annoying. But I am in control of my life. I went to college, became a physician, became a specialist, got married.
Life goes on. It's just hair. I may have a genetically-based compulsion to pull it out - but I'll succeed with or without my eyebrows.
Don't let it drag you down.
UPDATE - I have been using the Talika solution on my eyes and it seems to be working, I have still managed to pull a few lashes out, but they are growing back faster and blacker than they have done in the past. They grow back really soft so you don't get the stubby lashes. I'm getting married in a few weeks time so fingers crossed, and hope that I don't pull any more out. Im feeling proud of myself for achieving this much in a short amount of time. I can actually use some mascara now. I wish the best of luck to the rest of you. You CAN do it. I have been pulling for 21 years and yes they do grow back.
I am happy I found this website I thought I was the only one who did this. Someone please tell me if getting fake lashes really work or if there is a cure for this problem? I am tired of not looking people directly in ther face because of this problem please help.
I've been pulling out my eyelashes since I was 3 and I will be 33 in July. I even remember the day I started doing it-my sister and I just stood in front of the mirror and did it (she has it too) because it seemed like a good idea at the time. It's been an uphill battle ever since. I pull from other areas (head, pubic area) though not nearly as frequently from the head. (but of course the head seems to take longer to grow back.)
I've had a bad last few months and right now I'm commtting to growing them back. Someone mentioned Essential Day Spa and the products they were recommending, and I agree that that is a great site. A product I'm using right now is Jan Marini Age Intervention Eyelash, and it's very expensive--a tube costs about $130 and lasts about 3 months. But I will say that I've been religious about using it, almost as religious about not pulling (I've had a few episodes, but only one or two each time) and over the last month I've gone from having about 10-15 lashes per eye to having about 2/3 regrowth--not complete, but enough to wear mascara. It usually takes me about two months to get to that point, and the lashes I've grown are longer than they normally are. So it really works. The price is extreme, though, but to make a long story short, one of the EDS members has created her own formula that provides the same results and will soon be selling it. I'm looking forward to that!
Some things I've noticed that are definitely triggers for me:
1. Refined carbs. Namely things like cereals, pizza, and sugars eaten by themselves. If I have them with protein (e.g. turkey sandwich, scrambled egg), then it's not an issue, but by themselves, I can practically time it. I eat a bowl of cereal, half an hour later the hand is doing the upcreep.
2. Stress. Duh.
3. Boredom/inactivity. Watching TV, reading, not typing on the computer though, for the most part.
Things that help me to reduce urges and/or prevent pulling:
1. Exercise. I've been marking my calendar off with the days I haven't pulled, and I can see that the urges went way down when I was exercising regularly. Back to the gym I go!
2. Cutting down on trigger foods.
3. STAYING AWAY FROM THE MIRROR. If I can't see them, they won't bother me! If I need to tweeze my eyebrows, I make sure to do a controlled session (ironically, eyebrows have never been a problem for me, only lashes) and then put down the tweezer and go away. If I have to use the bathroom, I try to keep the light off (it helps that I live alone!) so I can't see myself and be tempted.
4. Not feeling the stubby ones. YES, they are definitely an incentive to pull, and I find that it's so much easier to keep on track when I have *more* eyelashes, so the stubby or 'weird' ones don't stand out as much. It's like there's a turning point where I can actually feel my lashes and not feel tempted. But that's a dangerous line to walk so I try to avoid it. One of the most aggravating things about this is that we can go for days and even weeks without a single pull, and yet when the urge strikes, all the hard work goes down the drain. That sucks. The results from NOT pulling seem to take forever, and the results from pulling only take a few minutes. Bah!
I've read that Trich is actually related to Tourette's Syndrome, in that people who suffer from it are usually quite high-functioning (I'd be willing to bet most of us score pretty high on the smarts scale), and like Tourette's, it's an irresistable urge that creates a building stress level that is only relieved by giving in to the urge. (Contrary to popular belief, Tourette's isn't all about swearing uncontrollably--it's mainly in the form of tics or repetitive actions.) So I'm hoping that they will soon find a treatment that will be effective.
Anyway, I hope our younger readers aren't discouraged by so many of us who have lived with this issue for 10, 15, 20, 30 years with no end in sight. Please keep in mind that though many of us have had periods where we've been unable to quit, we've had periods where we HAVE, too! It does take work and constant vigilance. Yes, it's unfair that we have an added burden, I won't deny that at all. It totally sucks! But whatever helps each of us to stop pulling, whether it's for 5 minutes or 5 years, we have that going for us, and each other to know how we all feel, too.
just a quick comment from a fellow trichster too, for all trichsters-I find this site very useful-it has forum and lots of caring members to support your healing process: it's trichotillomania.co.uk , it has many members from all around the world-mostly UK and USA, but for instance, I'm from Croatia.
And sending my best wishes to Cody :) hope you'll get through it all.
i am 17 and i have been pulling my eyelashes out for 3 years now. i just can't help it, even if my friend eyelashes are out of place i always feel the need to pull it out but they know me and watch out for me when i get a sudden urge of pulling power. my sisters are not very sensitive towards my feelings cause they have their own problems. they have nits.
can you get me a number to call to help my sisters as i dont want nits because i have t.........mania. thankyou.
i am 16 nearly 17 i really need help!!!! im pulling my eyelashes out, where can you get false ones from in the uk?
ive been doing it for about 12 years, i just cant stop when i see lashes longer than other ones i have an urge to pull them out. every body in school is starting to notice now so i would like some fasle ones to try and hide,i am ashamed of what i do. i have started to get realy bad eye infections and my mum suggested that i wear false ones but i cant find any, any where. i wear alot of eyeliner to try and hide the baldness but when i turn my head to the side i know people are looking at me, probally wondering why i havent got no eyelashes, them occasionally when im sat with a group of friends one will ask me why i havent got any, them well have a full on chat why i do it.
i have no hair left! help me please!!
i got no hair so its not a problem for me
I'm an eyelash puller, eyebrow puller, under armpit puller, former leg hair puller, etc. I don't know how to stop. I have a serious problem. I want natural brows but all I have is penciled ones. I've stop pulling the hairs on my leg. I don't know what to do.
To Sarah,
You can find fake eyelashes in Boots the Chemist, for around £5.00. I think you can stop pulling if you put your mind to it. Try to keep you hands busy and try my tapping method as mentioned in one of my earlier messages. It does work and I sympathise with you entirely. I still pull the occasional lash but Its been hard work. At least you have some understanding friends to support you. All the best.
I have been pulling my lashes since i was 7 years old. First, i started with my eyebrows then i discovered my lashes. I didnt even know this was a disease.I am now almost 35 years old,and i cant stop.I have tried dyeing what is left of my eyelashes or going to a salon and having fake ones put on Thinking if i spent money on this i wont do it. Wrong!I also pull the split ends off my hair i dont know if it is one and the same but who knows.When i wear fake eyelashes i feel as though it changes my whole face and i feel fantastic. I would go on vacation and pull them out thinking i have left a part of me in Greece or when i went to Hawaii . I think this site might help us help each other understand why??
hi
i have been puling since i was 17 ,im now 33. i havent me anyone with this problem , only read about it online.i dont have strong will power but i do get "GEL NAILS" fake nails, make em a little longer too , whatever works , which your eyelashes are hard to get at, i still manage to get some ,but it does help , me anyway . I hope i can help someone out ...chow
Thank you for continuing to take the time to help others. My worry is why I"m not seeing all the lashes grow in at the same time...though I know it's cause I've been pulling them...and for so long...
: (
wouldn't that be ironic...that when I actually want to stop..and try with ALL that I have in me....that they wouldn't grow?
I can't think of that...I will just take it lash for lash...
That reminds me of a line from one of my favorite songs...from one of my favorite groups...The Scientist by Coldplay...
"No one ever said it would be this hard...
Oh take me back to the start.."
wow...those lines really make me sad...wow.