Chronological Archives (click title to expand)

Pull free since May 3rd
Coming up on my two month pull-free anniversary! I'm doing great. My hair is very full and shiny. I guess I was ready for another pull-free time and it came to me. I've had my challenges such as picking at...

It's been a very long time since I posted about hair pulling
It's been a very long time since I posted. I seem to have drifted inside myself for so long that I"m having trouble resurfacing. So much has changed. I want so much for life to slow down. Things are getting...

It's been a long time since I posted about trich
It's been a long time since I posted anything. I'm sorry for my absence. There has been a lot that has happened since I last posted. I think that last summer I started to make some changes in my life....

Many weeks pull-free, and good bye to a friend
I've been pull-free for so many weeks that I'm not sure how many it's been! I'll have to look back on my journal to know for sure. Actually, I have pulled about five times during this "pull-free" period. But instead...

Twelve weeks? Thirteen weeks? Pull free
I'm not sure how long I've been pull free, I'll have to look back in my blog. My hair is feeling pretty good. I don't worry anymore about going in the pool and getting my hair wet. I don't worry...

Almost nine weeks pull free
On Tuesday I'll be nine weeks pull free. I'm feeling really good about that. My hair is really filling in. This is the awkward stage though, where hair sticks out and tries to go its own direction. most of the...

I got triched again
This afternoon I fell asleep with Sammie and Jamie (they have both been sick and not sleeping well, so they needed a nap. It was great!). I dreamt that I pulled two hairs. I've been certain all day since that...

I pulled three eyelashes today after one day pull free
I am still pull free on my scalp. I really want to be pull free on eyelashes. I hate that I gave in tonight. My DH and I got in an argument about finances and I felt worked up and...

Trichotillomania....the "trich" is the idea
I am officially six weeks pull free tomorrow. I had a really bad dream the other night that seemed so real....I was sitting on the couch pulling hairs from the top of my head. It felt so read that I...

Update on pull free status
I just wanted to post an update and say that I am now one month pull free. :-) :-) :-) This hasn't happened for me for a while. I think I was ready for a pull-free period, and it came...

Almost three weeks pull free
I'm almost three weeks pull free. My hair is feeling good. The only part of my "bad spots" that is still filling in is the part behind my ear where I pulled a quarter sized spot when we were on...

Eight days pull free
I'm ending my eigth day pull free. Feeling good. My hair hasn't changed much yet. In the bald/thin areas there is a lot of fuzz. But usually it takes a good 4-8 weeks to really feel a difference. I remember...

Four days pull free..on the fifth one
I am on my fifth day pull free, but I'm feeling frustrated. My not-so-dear husband is in the hospital with asthmatic bronchitis after I'd been telling him for FOUR DAYS to go to the hospital and quit being stupid. I...

Pull free for two days
Typing one handed nursing Jamie, but I had to check in and announce my status. Thanks for reading!...

Still pulling my hair but not as much
I try to always put something about hair pulling in my title so that it will show up on searches for people who are looking for help with their trich. So, sorry about all the common titles! I am still...

Long time since I wrote in here
It's been a while since I've left a journal entry. I'm not sure why. I guess I just get the feeling that I am "regurgitating" the same thing over and over again (I HATE that word yet my professor used...

101st entry on the blog...wish I could be free of trich to celebrate
It's been a long time since I posted. Things feel strange. I feel detached and wish that I didn't. I haven't been pulling much that I'm aware of...but the left side of my head has a minor bald spot with...

I'm pulling right now
I really wish I would stop pulling! Right now I'm typing to distract my fingers. They say if you tap your fingers and count instead of pulling, it helps the urge to go away. Something about changing the side of...

Pulling all day
Well, I was pull-free until about September 22nd, so I think that was almost four weeks pull-free. Awesome! Too bad I crashed and burned. Lately I'm pulling during the day too, and not just at night. Not sure why this...

Pull free almost one month
I feel good about my hair but not so good about everything else. Tonight was a bad night. We went to a park and I was SO thirsty driving home. DH was driving. I asked if we could stop so...

IN 14 minutes I'll be pull-free for four days
It's amazing what four days can do for my hair. Alreay my "pulled" spots feel softer and the hair seems to be growing faster. I don't have itchy spots. My urges become less. During the day today I have only...

Really trying hard not to pull in a hectic, crazy world
AS of right now I am only two days pull-free. But, considering how much I've been pulling for at least five weeks now, these two days are a MIRACLE! I'm not quite sure what changed; I think it was a...

Less pulling but my hair is a MESS
I haven't been pulling very much. I had to have minor mouth surgery because of a gross abcess and I've been pretty sick from that. I had a fever and chills for several days and have been just sluggish in...

Pulled a little today...stress is pretty high
Well, my DH is making nice today and last night INSTEAD of going to see a lawyer. I've decided that the reason why he makes those statements is because he is mentally ill. So, in order to protect myself, I...

Tonight is not the best night but I'm not pulling
Which is really just...weird. I think once I reach a certain stage of distress, I stop trying to relieve myself at all with my destructive habits like pulling my hair and overeating. I just stop trying to do anything. I...

Long time, no post, still pulling
It's been a long time since I posted. I've gone back to college online and I've been so busy with that, I've hardly had time to sleep. Some people, including myself in the past, think that going to school online...

Looking within
I've been searching my soul lately to see what I could do to start changing myself from the inside out. Trying to figure out some reasons why I do the things that I do, such as isolate myself when things...

Loss of pull-free status...again
Well, I lost it on Friday night and I've been pulling pretty strong since then. I want to stop so bad. I'm afraid to look in the mirror again. Some parts behind my ears are bald again. :-( I feel...

Two days pull free
Well I've made it nearly two days pull free. Friday night was really awful for pulling. I pulled until I felt sleepy and then kept pulling after that when what I really wanted to do was fall asleep. :-( That's...

Pulling too much
I've been pulling way too much lately. There is a lot of things going on here. We are refinancing our house in case I lose my job when my dad's business goes out. Things are really slow with the business...

Anxiety and pulling
I am still pulling here. I am upset because the top of my hair is losing its fullness. I looked so much better before. One would think this would be enough to stop me, but noooooooo. I have pulled at...

Still pulling hair and eyelashes
I am still pulling my hair and eyelashes right now. I had one or two days where I was nearly pull-free and then I crashed and burned each evening. I have been pulling so much lately. I even have started...

A dollar and seventeen cents
My daughter paid me a dollar and seventeen cents today because she acted so bad when we went to McD's for lunch. She was loud and rambunctious and just plain not listening. She usually isn't like that at all. I'm...

Pulling like crazy
I've been pulling like crazy tonight. I didn't pull at all yesterday and I was hopeful that today would be just as easy. But, it wasn't. I caved in...again. I'm not sure what exactly is setting me off. I think...

Pulling and feeling like a failure
I succumbed to the stress of many things and started pulling again about ten days ago. I feel terrible about it, though I'm trying to not beat myself up. I'm trying to just stop now and become pull-free again. My...

Trouble...but I still have my hair
So much going on here. Today I took Sammie for a bike ride and my dog for a walk. It was really nice out. Sammie loved riding her bike up and down the road. We're lucky to have such a...

Four months and still pull free...and the loss of my friend
I am still pull free and feeling good. My hair is looking funky though. The parts underneath are so fluffy and are a totally different length than the parts on top. I'm not sure if I should cut my hair...

Coming through a rough time...and still pull free...technically
I'm still pull-free even after a rough couple of weeks. There is something I've been doing with my hair though that I really need to stop. I run my fingers through it trying to grab the loose hairs. I think...

Feeling confused
I'm feeling very confused tonight. Things with my husband are so bad, I just don't know what to do about it or where to turn. It has been so bad that I've been wondering if Jamie would miss me if...

Still pull free...almost three months now
I am still technically pull free and it's been nearly three months. My hair is really starting to reach that stage where it can almost pass as normal looking. I can almost pull it back into a pony tail. I'm...

Feeling better...and I didn't give in to the urge to pull
I am still pull free. I did lose some eyelashes yesterday and this morning, but no gaps yet. If I stop now they won't get too bad. Sammie and I had an argument this morning and last night was hard...

So alone tonight...and wanting to pull my hair
I feel so alone tonight. I feel as though I have no voice. That there isn't any words to convey how lonely and small my heart feels. I want to cry out to someone so badly but I can't reach...

Hairpullers...do NOT give up on yourself
I just wanted to tell anyone who reads this blog, whether you ever post or not, do NOT give up on yourself! TRICH IS SOMETHING YOU DO. IT IS NOT, AND NEVER WILL BE, WHO YOU ARE. To Lisa from...

Two months pull free
I'm almost two months pull free now. I'm feeling more confident about the way my hair looks everyday. There are so many things I love about NOT pulling. One of them is going down the shampoo and conditioner aisle at...

One month + pull free
I haven't updated lately because things have been so busy and I have been SO tired. I think it is the Prozac that makes me so sleepy at night. Not sure though. During the day I have lots of energy...

About eyelashes and stuff
Hi everyone. There's been a lot of comments on my eyelashes post and I wanted to takl about that a little bit. Some of the commentors have said that they are desperate to stop. Here are some good ideas for...

Summer...humidity...and YUCK (but no pulling)
I don't think I've ever mentioned on this journal how much I HATE humidity in summer. One would think it wouldn't get that humid here, but it DOES. Yuck. When it gets humid, I don't even want to go outside....

Pull Free for now
It's been about 4-5 days since I pulled. Not sure what to make of this: I'm just trying not to analyze it very much right now. I noticed in my comments section that someone asked how I come about a...

Two days pull free
I am moving on with my hair pulling...finally! My cycle seemed to be this: I have a couple days a week where I would pull only a couple of hairs. Then one or two days a week where I could...

Today doesn't feel very good...but I haven't pulled yet
Today doesn't feel like a very good day. The morning started out feeling a little disjointed and strange. Not that we weren't having fun or having a nice morning...I just felt...strangely detached. I can only attribute this to my post...

New baby and still pulling
My son is now two weeks old as of today. It's amazing how slowly and how quickly two weeks can really go by. It feels like ten years have passed. I've been handling things well but feeling really floaty and...

My son is here
My son is here and he is beautiful. I survived. I didn't die. Having the baby blues right now with the moodiness and what-not but everything is okay. Everything...is going to work out. I have my son....

Pulling has increased again :-(
My pulling increased last week because I was sent to labor and delivery after my doctor's appointment and I was very tense and scared. I was later discharged, but after being in L & D, I realized I am in...

Haven't felt much like posting...still pulling
After 5+ weeks being pull free, I started pulling again. I started pulling shortly after being possibly diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. We haven't had any problems since, but I was pretty scared and stressed out...and it was just beyond what I...

No pulling...how long has it been?
I haven't been pulling at all. Haven't even really thought about it even. I must be going through an easy time with my trich. I don't think I want to analyze it any more than that. I'm very tired lately....

I also wanted to add in regards to my marriage
Thank you to everyone who posted advice for me. I was so moved by what I read that it was hard for me to not cry (I do not usually cry in front of anyone, my sister is the only...

No pulling
How long has it been since I've pulled? I've lost track of the days again. That's okay. My urges have been less and less each day. Lately I haven't even had the urge to touch my hair. Usually at night...

no pulling but the tension is high
I have had a lot of urges to pull but I haven't yanked a single hair. This, to me, is amazing. My hair in the bad spots is starting to grow in soft and downy already (a benefit to being...

Seventh day and no pulling
This is my seventh day completely pull-free. I did pull two eyelashes last night, but that's not too bad. My main goal right now is to stop pulling the hair on my head anyways. On the second or third day...

I didn't pull again today
I didn't pull at all today. Not even eyelashes. That's two days pull free. My scalp itches. I've noticed that right before I get the urge to pull, I feel an itch. And the itch is what draws my hand...

I didn't pull today
I didn't pull today. That's all I really can say tonight. I'm trying to focus on my pulling before my son is born. I want to find that freedom with my hair that I had last year at this time....

Pulling and unresolved issues
There is so much going on in my head lately that I can't even find a way to let it out. I want to, but it's like a huge traffic jam. So, my pulling has been pretty bad. My hair...

Pulling and anxiety
The past three days I've been pulling ALOT. Luckily today I haven't pulled at all. I've found that if I can stop myself from pulling the first hair of the day, then I can usually make it all day without...

Feeling lost and wanting more
I have been feeling pretty lost lately. Like I'm running on autopilot. I do this when I need to turn off my feelings, but usually they catch up with me and pretty quick. I've been having lots of problems with...

Random Thoughts about Everything
I haven't been keeping up with this journal very well at all. Now that I"m pregnant, most nights I just fall asleep putting Sammy to bed (which is about 8:00 or 8:30) and I don't get up until 7:30 in...

I just want to pull it all out
I really do. Every single hair. We were on a vacation for a week which meant being surrounded constantly by people (husband, etc.) and I didn't get my private time to pull. Now that I'm home (and very stressed out),...

Pulling too much again
First of all, thanks to all the people who have commented on my posts. It makes me feel good to hear from all of you! I don't have that much time these days to read everything, or to post as...

Pulling hair and pregnant
I've been trying to become more aware of my pulling the past three days. I seem to notice that if I don't give in to the urge in the morning, then it makes it easier to not pull the rest...

Still not pull free...but I have other good news
I've still been pulling my hair here and there. I think I have had more than five pull free days sprinkled in, but I honestly haven't been paying much attention. :-) My husband and I just found out two weeks...

Pulling some hair
I started pulling a few hairs the past week. So I DID make it two weeks pull free. I'm going to start again today. For some reason I've been having bad dreams almost every night and it leaves me feeling...

Pulling hair a little bit
I've been pulling here and there the past three days but nothing major. Not enough to do any damage...just enough to stop my progress. Tonight has been pull free though. I know that tomorrow I can be stronger and fight...

Almost two weeks and no pulling
I'm doing pretty well. I checked my hair tonight after my shower. My bald spots have all baby fine hair now...but the hair is pale in color and so you can still see the spots if I move my hair...

Still pull free
Last night I thought to myself: "You know, there is always one thing I can count on when it comes to my trich. Just as soon as it comes, it can go away. And just as soon as it goes...

A week or so and no pulling hair
This is the longest streak I've been on since April. I'm trying not to count the days too much. It puts too much pressure on me. I"m trying to just relax and enjoy this. My hair in the bad spots...

Three days...or is it four? and no pulling
I'm not sure if it's three or four days that I haven't pulled. This is the longest I've gone without pulling since probably April. I'm trying not to make too much out of it...tomorrow I may be unable to resist...

About eyelashes
There is a question about eyelashes in the comments and I wanted to talk about that here. Within a week I could see the little stubby eyelashes poking through the eyelid. (I had to look really closely in the mirror....

In response to other trichsters who have commented here
I wanted to thank everyone who has posted on my comments lately. It's so nice to open my e-mail and see that not only have people been reading, they've been commenting too. It makes me feel good! Thank you! Someone...

Trich Memories
I didn't pull too much today. Today was pretty low-key and not much to stress about. I plan to have a really low-key weekend and just do things that Sammie enjoys (going swimming, playing dolls, playing games, etc.). I was...

And as a second thought for the day..
Why would anyone make a Jelly bean taste like a cappuchino? Why? And why would they make it look so similar to the chocolate flavored ones? There is nothing grosser than expecting chocolatey-sugar goodness and instead being bombarded with disgusting...

Here is my title :-)
I'm sorry for not putting titles on my posts. I will remember from now on! And not to name posts the same twice. Thanks everyone for posting on my comments lately. I'm glad this journal is helping someone. I think...

Still Pulling Hair
I've been gone for a while. I think I've been trying to pretend that I'm not pulling. HA! The pulling hasn't gotten any worse, but it's not getting any better either. The areas that I've pulled are not growing in...

The Firm Workout
It's been a while since I posted. Things have been busy here. I've started working out faithfully again which doesn't leave much time at night to play around on the computer. My eyes have been itching something fierce lately and...

>>>Is anyone sick of me whining yet?
So are you??? I'm so tired of being so whiny. What the heck is the matter with me? But, in reality, I'm not whining. I'm crying out for help. For anyone, to anyone...just help me. There is so much inside...

Back to Weight Watchers
I have not posted for a while. Sometimes I just don't know what to write about. My sister was here and we had a lot of fun. Note to my sister: I'm sorry my husband is such a butthead!!!! We...

Random thoughts and feelings
Sometimes I feel just like a fixture in my home. Like a refrigerator. Everybody uses the refrigerator...but do they really ever NOTICE it? No. The only time they notice it is when the refrigerator is not providing what they need...

hmm
Last night I had a dream that I told my dad that I hated him. It was strange, in my dream it was though I was thinking it but accidently said it out loud. Then I was coming up with...

10 Flex Points Left
I never know what to title my posts. Today was a bad mommy day. It's the kind of day where after Sammy goes to bed, I sit and wish I could start the whole day over again! So many mistakes....

Lean Balance
I didn't know what to title this post. I know I've been gone for some time. I just have not had the energy to post. I'm not sure what has happened but I feel as though I'd given up on...

Couple good days
Well yesterday I went to the doctor and he said I have a small goiter! ACK! Isn't that what those women in third world countries get? Like, I once saw that picture of a woman with the world's largest goiter....

Day Two
So this is my second day pull free. I think I could very easily fall into the whole pulling pattern again. But I'm fighting it. I heard Dr. Phil tell someone one day that even though she had a compulsive...

Starting over again
Announcement to the world: "I'M NOT PERFECT." I wish I could say that. I wish I could stop wanting to be perfect. Perfect should be a dirty word...in any language. It's amazing how fast I went from one world of...

Thinking
Well lately things have been rough. I've been pulling about every other day, though not alot and not enough to make a difference in how my hair looks. I really do want to stop again though. The very idea of...

Thank you
Thank you everyone for your positive posts on my last entry. I have had some time to think the past day or so and I realize now that the more sensitive I am to MY behavior...the WORSE it becomes. It's...

I know why
I know why I feel scared and anxious so much. I know why I constantly feel the need to escape and tune out the world. It just clicked. Just a minute ago. It's the thing that's always lurking underneath my...

Thinking Back
I read my sister's entry about the tulips in the front yard and I was so sad thinking about a little girl not even eight years old, feeling like she needed to make herself bleed to feel real. It's not...

Not a good day
I don't know what happened but today was not a good day. I woke up feeling just resentful of never getting any time to myself. I love my daughter, more than anything in the world, but she is always with...

I'm just too darn busy
There is just too much going on. Life is moving too fast. My little girl is growing up too fast. I shouldn't even be 28 yet. Sometimes I worry that life is passing me by. I don't really even know...

I hope I'm posting this right
I have so much on my mind lately and no way to get it out. I want my life to slow down. Just for a minute. I just want to sit and think for a minute. It's not fair that...

Where have I been?
I've been gone for SO long. I just can't make the time most days to come to my diary and post. So sorry!! Life is crazy here sometimes but other times I have have moments to sit and ponder lots...

Today I had a real hard day
Today I had a real bad day as far as arguing with my husband, which always brings on the urge to pull. These were my first urges for about a week or more. Which scared me. So what did I...

Still no pulling
Still no pulling. Though some eyelashes were pulled yesterday and the day before, there's no visible damage. My hair is looking pretty full, compared to how it used to look. I keep feeling like there is something tucked behind my...

Hey I'm Back!
Hey I'm Back! Yeah, I lost everything on the computer. Everything. Damn you Worm Blaster virus. Damn you and your maker tooooooooo. I learned my lesson. Scan for viruses daily!!! And a word of warning: The worm was hiding in...

Still no pulling. :-)
Still no pulling. :-) Not much else to say tonight. Just kind of lost inside my head. Trying to remember stuff from when my sister and I were little. Until next time....

Dreams
Well, I think I got it figured out. On why tomorrow is bad for my sister. It's because of some freaking bastard guy that thought he could do something to her. One time I had a dream that I was...

Worried
I'm really worried about my sister. I'm worried so much that I can't spell right. My fingers can't find the keys. If you read my sister's diary, you know that October 1st is the anniversary of something really bad happening....

I am still diseased!
I am still diseased! Thank you everyone for your condolences. :-) The best way to describe the attack of this particular virus: Have someone jam Pop-Rocks (candy) underneath your skin. Preferably in the palms of your hands, fingertips, between your...

Thanks again to Judy for
Thanks again to Judy for the thoughtful posts. They made my night! :-) I do take things too much to heart. I've always done this. These days I'm at my worst when I have to scold Sammy for something. Seeing...

Pulling lets me drift away
Still not pulling. Haven't really even paid much attention to my hair the past few days. But tonight I realized this is the longest I've ever gone without pulling. Yesterday I was lying in bed and I thought "I really...

Hard to love yourself
Man, some people. Even the nicest people can say the darn meanest things. We were walking down the road today- me and Sammy and the dog (Tiny) and our elderly neighbor stopped us while driving by us. We chatted for...

Man I messed up tonight!!!
Man I messed up tonight!!! No, I didn't pull. :-) Was that what you thought? Sheesh. ;-) No, I overate. I ate about 14 Points of Brownies and frosting. yuck! I felt sick afterwards. I don't even know what I...

eating instead of pulling
Hello to Judy and thank you for all your comments! I definitely appreciate your time in writing to me and sharing your experiences too. Keep writing as it makes my dad everytime. :-) Been good here. No hairs pulled! Got...

My brain is cruel
Cruel. My brain is so cruel. Last night I dreamt I was pulling. Just pulling and pulling. Just like I was sitting there watching TV, like in real life, and pulling. And it felt so real. I woke up thinking...

Having a bad night here.
Having a bad night here. For some reason I got SO hungry this afternoon and ended up going about 38 Points OVER what I usually have for the day. That's a whole 'nother day of food and then some! It's...

Had a really close call
Had a really close call today. I have this funny spot on my head where the hairs grow in funny. Hard to explain. I like to feel the hairs up there and twist them into a bunch. Almost pulled one...

Time is going by so fast
I had another close call this weekend. I was so close to pulling that I had to will myself to stop and then shake my head to "shake off" the feeling. It was way too close. Sometimes I just get...

Trich
Last night I was tempted to pull. I even had that perfect hair picked out. I always tell myself that just one hair won't matter. I can stop at one hair. I couldn't stop at one hair ever before, but...

Where to begin?/What is trichotillomania?
I should probably start by telling you what trichotillomania is. That is, the actual definition. Trichotillomania is: The compulsion to tear or pluck out the hair on one's head and face and often to ingest it. A compulsion to pull...


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