September 13, 2004

Man I messed up tonight!!!

Man I messed up tonight!!!

No, I didn't pull. :-) Was that what you thought? Sheesh. ;-)

No, I overate. I ate about 14 Points of Brownies and frosting. yuck! I felt sick afterwards. I don't even know what I was thinking going into it. I was just tired...and worn out after trying to put Sammy to bed. (I love her so much!). I guess I needed to get a good "high" tonight. Sugar always does the trick. I wish I could find other ways to get "high". Fact is, I need to get "high" to escape these thoughts in my head. Thoughts about trying to get away from it all...quitting my job....taking Sammy and moving away somewhere...where I can be free to be myself. Silly thoughts. Irrational and bizarre thinking. I need to get high to get away from them. There's got to be another, more healthy way.

I got on the scale tonight again. Still the same. No pounds have escaped yet. Bummer.

I ate 52 Points today. Gross. At least I have Flex-Points but those are supposed to last all week. Man. Now I have to go the whole week with only....14 Flex Points. ARGH! For those of you not famliar with Weight Watchers: Every food has a Points value. Points value is determined by calories, fat, and fiber. Your weight determines your daily Points allowance. Mine is 28. You would think that sounds like a lot. HA! One 2" x 2" Brownie is FIVE Points. Now how does it sound? ;-)

Tonight I did the FIRM workout for the first time. It's like step aerobics. Step aerobics, like cheerleading or Mary Kay, is something I swore I would never do. ;-) But I LOVED it. It kicked my butt. I sweated like a horse. It says on the box that you can see visible results in 10 workouts. Nine to go! I'll let you know how it works. ;-) I haven't been exercising the past few months because I just haven't been making the effort. Telling myself I'm too tired. Too busy. But you know what? No one is going to do this for me. It's time to take some control. Start changing things around in this daily "schedule" that I try to keep. Of course, Sammy comes first. But I CAN carve out more time for me. Yes, it's possible. :-)

Oh by the way, Bahamas trip is postponed indefinitely due to Hurricane Francis. I feel so badly for the people on Grand Bahama Island. It's a mess right now. Our hotel may or may not open by December 1st. I'm somewhat glad. The older Sammy is when we go, the better! My high-needs baby will not take easily to riding on a plane and sleeping in a strange bed. :-D

Well, I'm off to check out the FIRM website...and get some workout rotation calendars. I think I have a new hobby.

Until next time. :-)

Posted by Cody on September 13, 2004 7:57 PM

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