One month + pull free
I haven't updated lately because things have been so busy and I have been SO tired. I think it is the Prozac that makes me so sleepy at night. Not sure though. During the day I have lots of energy for Sammy and Jamie but come night time, I am a SLUG. Normal probably :-) but in my earlier days I could go for 16 + hours straight and barely even sit down.
I have been pull free since July 17th. I've decided that this time I will mark the date. I have not had any urges to pull in the last week. This morning I was sort of messing with the hair on top of my head and felt my fingers start to single out a hair and I just made myself stop. That was it. No pulling. LIke I've said before, if I can avoid the urge to pull in the morning, I can pretty much resist it all day too. I haven't pulled any eyelashes in about a week.
I should be feeling better about myself but I really don't. I feel so overweight....I only have 1.6 pounds to lose to get my 10 pound ribbon, but I still feel really awful. I'm just not sure why. I feel like I don't have any time to take care of myself.
Really I just want some time to myself!
Sammy starts preschool next week and she is very very excited. I think I'm ready for her to start to ready. I'm finally ready to watch her branch out and move away from me. But, inside, it hurts pretty bad. I look at her and she is so grown up and I just don't know how the years have flown by the way that they have. I just hurt...to see time slip away so easily. But, it's also a joy to see her grow and move on and start talking to other kids and adults. I know she's going to have a great time at the school. It's a great school and it's gives me five hours a week where I know she is busy and having fun and I can just RELAX without having to worry. I can focus just on Jamie for a while without having to be sure that Sammie gets the equal amount of attention.
Jamie is growing so fast. He can babble and coo and can look around without his head flopping over. :-) He's very cute and a lot of fun. I definitely feel as though he is an easier baby than Sammie was. Maybe it's just the difference between boys and girls. :-)
Well, that's all I have to say for now. I'm just going through the motions right now with life, not analyzing anything too much, just trying to be rested and have a good time. And not pull.
Until next time.
Posted by Cody on August 24, 2006 10:31 AM
Hey Cody,
It's nice to find your blog. With this disorder it's soo easy to think you're the only one who does it, I have yet to actually see another person who pulls their hair, so the internet is a great help! I have just regained the mental strength to stop pulling.(again!) For me nothing seems to work unless I really want to quit, other times I've tried but I quess I didn't want to give it up. Right now I'm on my 16th day and I feel great! I've only made it this far once before. I find it really helps me to mark my days on the calendar when I wake up in the morning. If I feel like pulling I tell myself to stop so I can up my number tommorow. If I do pull I give myself a frowny face and start the counting over. This also helps with my husband because he knows I'm not too comfortable talking about it and if he see's my days still going strong he can congratulate me. This also helps him with his weight, he weighs once a week and marks it on the calendar and I can check it and give him encouragement without either of us feeling pressured. Anyway, I thought this might help because it makes me feel good to actually see my progress written on paper. I'm glad I found your blog, keep going strong and congratulations on your baby boy!! My girl turned one today!
Im 16 and ive had Trich since i was about 12, not only do i compulsively pull but i have a lot of other compulsions that are hard to classify. I'm normal and sociable and it would be difficult to notice (except i dont have any eyelashes) but i also find trivial things bother me, for example a mark on a wall or desks not properly aligned. i might walk into a room 100 times and see the same mark on the wall and then one day i'll walk in, see it and be made unbearably anxious and uncomfortabe by it, my chest will tighten up and i'll feel asphyxiated. I'ts not just one thing either, it can be anything even the angle of the TV. plus i can only sit on the left side of a cinema. i don't know how to classify these behaviours so let me know if you have the same experience or can offer some insight.
Ok so yah she is starting preschool and she's going to blow all those other kids out of the water by her sheer brilliance and the years have passed by sorta quickly, but put this in SLIGHT perspective:
she is still 3.
Its not like she is 16 and getting her driver's licence next week.
She's just going to preschool. Yes its huge, but you don't have to pick out her college yet. ;)
Its all about perspective :)