Pulling some hair
I started pulling a few hairs the past week. So I DID make it two weeks pull free. I'm going to start again today. For some reason I've been having bad dreams almost every night and it leaves me feeling tired alot...and when I'm tired I don't feel like stopping myself from pulling. It's a total cop-out...I should have the strength now to find other coping mechanisms.
I've had bad dreams before but I've never had such a string of them. Some of them make sense and some are absolutely strange but leave me feeling drained nonetheless. Last night was my most disturbing dream yet. I've mentioned before how I used to have nightmares about "the tickle people" when I was about 4-6 years old. The tickle people would tickle me endlessly and I would be crying and pinned up to my bedroom wall. Then I would look and see my father watching from my bedroom door, not helping me, just watching. It was disturbing. Well last night I dreamt that the tickle people came again! And they tickled me so hard in the ribs that it hurt terribly and made me panic and it was so scary. I can still feel that pain and pressure in my ribs and the desperation to just get away! I was dreaming this within a dream. Then I woke up from my dream's dream, and someone, I don't know who, told me that the tickling was real, and not a dream. And that my father had done it. So I confronted him and told him that I KNEW that he did this. That I remembered him doing it, and that he couldn't deny it. He did deny it once, but then he acted proud of it and even tried to tickle me while I was confronting him. This time I panicked and I snapped. I told him that I would f-ing kill him if he ever touched me again, and that if he EVER tried to do that to Samme, I would f-ing torture him and then laugh while he died. It was horrible. Then I noticed that Sammie was in the room and my dad was watching her. Just watching her. So quietly. Like a predator. Then I woke up.
Some might say: Why all this fuss about tickling? Tickling is fun...it's a game...it doesn't hurt anybody. Tickling to me is TORTURE. I HATE IT. I hate the though of being tickled. I don't want ANYONE to touch me, and ticklign me just causes me to panic and kick and scream. Even my husband knows not to try to tickle me because any game can turn ugly when it happens. I just wonder why. Am I just one of those people that hates being tickled? I know a lot of people don't like tickling. But does it cause them to panic? Or does the tickling stand for something else? Something uglier....
I just don't know. But my dream bothered me so much. I don't want to see my dad today. I'm filled to the brim with hatred for him today. I wish I never had to see him. Ever. I hate that I have to fake niceness around him. When all I ever want him to do is just go away. And stay away from me and my family.
I might never know why I feel this way, but I do know that it causes me anxiety which really needs an outlet. But what is a healthy outlet? There are only so many plates I can break (just ask my sister), and throwing clay balls is great. But sooner or later the desire to pull or overeat just consumes me. What do I do then? I think it might take me almost a lifetime to figure it out.
until next time.
Posted by Cody on September 8, 2005 8:26 AM
It's not torture, it's something you aren't open to. I can totally understand hating it, I know many people who do. However, you would be blown away by how many people truly enjoy it. Not only is it a great stress relief but it's also a wonderful endorphin-release trigger. It just takes a willing mind and someone you trust to do the tickling. :-)
And trust me, I can understand hating the male parental unit...I'm sure our reasons are different, though.
Bare foot tickle torture is the best. Tickle her feet until she pees! Make her laugh her ass off! Don't stop. Foot tickling is much more effective than rib tickling. No one can take foot tickling! HAHAHA
I am 14 and I have been pulling since I was 9. I cannot stop it. I quit for about a month and then my parents got a divorce and I started pulling again. I cant help it sometimes. My mom says that it's because of "him". How does she know that? I know that it is a habit and I pray to God right now that my life will turn around. I want to do things so that I am not bored, or hang out with friends more... get myself involved in other things. I hate this.
Your dislike for tickling is understandable. That is because it is done without your consent or enjoyment. Your reaction is more psychological than physical. When lovers do it, it can and should be done in a loving manner. There is nothing more enjoyable than two loving people tickling each other.
Give it a try with your loved one with preset limits that both of you agree to follow. You may be pleasantly "tickled".
I know this entry is old by now, but I ran across it doing a search online trying to figure out if I was the only person horribly disturbed by tickling. I've always hated it and feel the exact same emotions that you have expressed about it. I was prompted to try to find out more about why it bothers me so much after my boyfriend tickled me to the point of tears of fear and panic. I just broke out crying and scared him and myself in doing so! Why does it affect us this way? Is it something more than just a playful show of affection? Who made it turn in to such an ugly thing? If you ever find out more, let me know.
Foot tickling is not an effective technique of torture. There is absolutely no truth whatsoever to the myth that tickling the soles of the bare feet was used as a medieval torture.
This has turned into a good thread about tickling. Who knew my post would show up if someone Googled "tickling". Hee hee. ;-)
I guess I wouldn't mind being pleasantly tickled by someone.
Someone HOT.
Like Kevin Costner.
Kevin, if you ever read this, please...come tickle me. I will enjoy.
Your Friend,
Cody :-)
I found you through a look-up on Google because since I was very young I've had these terrible dreams about being tickled. I always get tickled on the sides of my stomach and its just the worst feeling in the world! The tickling won't stop unless I force myself awake- I realize it's a dream and have to do push-ups until I finally wake up. Recently I've been having new terrible dream sensations, such as being cut and being shot at, but these are rare. Today I had a dream that giants were stomping on the ground, and my left hip bone was popping in and out of its socket! Its so painful but the tickling is definately the worst and most frequent. Everyone I've talked to says its never happened to them but I'm a little comforted to know I'm not the only one!!
Tickling ROCKS!!!
The BEST kind of tickling is when you have tied down your wife spread eagle on the 4-post bed and blindfolded her.Now, you know that she HATES, despises, is disgusted with, abhors and loathes it. Oil up her feet with Astroglide and go to town. The best part is where the laughing turns to crying, yet you notice that there is still a few little shadows of laughs that get through between the hysterical tears. Then begin to force an orgasm on her by playing with her clitoris. Now...I happen to know that my wife HAS to cum after a while of tickling her little love button no matter WHAT mood she is in!! But it is a complete erection-making moment when, while you are tickling her clit...you are also tickling one of her feet and while she is moaning with pleasure, she still can not help but keep yanking her toe-curled foot away from bondage. Cumming does not come easy since her brain is one fire with the feeling of orgasm and the torture of non-stop foot tickling. Finally she cums like the Hoover Damn has burst. And while she recuperates...I move up to her rib cage and arm pits and begin the real torture where she screams for mercy while laughing herself right into madness!!!
I used to have this same dream from about 8-12 yrs old. I still have a fear from tickiling. I know this sounds crazy to some but its as bad as torture to me. I have a son now and when my husband tickles him i lose it and always tell him to stop. Maybe its because my father used to tickle me by holding my arms back and not stopping till i cried. I understand he thought i was having fun but to me it was horrible enough to give me nightmares.
I ran across this stream as I was researching tickle torture. My boyfriend and I have a problem. He says tickling is a huge part of his sexuality, and I get horribly, anxious and upset by the thought and act of being tickled.
When I was young, my big brothers ganged up on me frequently to tickle tortured me. They pinned me down, and tickled me until I cried and/or peed my pants. It was embarrassing and traumatic for me, as I felt so helpless, and out of control. Even though I am a very laid back, calm person, being forcibly tickled brings out an unatural anger in me. I shake and cry with fury. Teeth clenched, muscles tense, and fists at my side. I want to punch and hurt back, because it feels like a violation.
I was also once pinned down by another child when I was very young, as they attempted to strip my clothes off of me, and forcibly simulate a sexual act upon me. I was about 4 or 5 at the time. I was told not to tell anyone about it, OR ELSE. I never did. I just held it inside, and feared another attack for what felt like a very long time. Note: this occurred before the tickling torture sessions, probably causing my hatred for being pinned down, and therefore tying all these things together. Thanks to these two childhood abuses, needless to say I am not "open" to the idea of being held down and or/tickled.
I was actually getting very upset reading some of the posts to this, especially upon reading the entry by the guy who described in great detail the tickle torture session with his wife. Now granted, that sounded fairly consensual. But,I have to say, if someone did that to me, as soon as I was untied, if I didn't have a stroke during it, I would have to supress my urge to punch, hit, scream and kick with the deepest hatred. Most likely I would just leave, never to return. I would not be able to trust someone who could do such a thing like this to me again, especially if they had knowledge of my childhood abuses. It may be fun to some, but for me, and others with similar sufferings, it is just a continuance of a childhood abuse.
Obviously, for me, it would be crazy for me to consent in the first place to being tied up and tickled, considering my feelings on the subject. My boyfriend had suggested it once or twice, and I told him no. We have been together for two years. We love each other, but, the subject came up again the other night, and I am starting to wonder if this is going to be the thing that keeps us from having a future together.
Maybe he will someday turn to someone else to fulfill his tickling fetish, since I can't, but yet, I don't think he would ever cheat. Probably not, but it sure isn't bringing us any closer to each other. It is a wedge. It affects our relationship. That, and a few other things.
At first in the relationship, I tolerated some tickling, but I expressed how unpleasant it was for me. I was trying to put up with it, to please him (new relationship, you know how it is); but inside I was screaming against it. I tense up so much, it becomes borderline painful for me physically. I hated it. I have tried to explain to him how much I hate it, and his response at times, was to try to teach me not to be as ticklish, by, tickling me more. That didn't go so well for me personally. I nearly kicked him in the head once when he tried tickling me on the foot.
He later suggested therapy for my aversion to tickling, (in my mind, I read "so that he could have what he wants". It's about him, not me. Nice.) I told him no, I was not going to get therapy for tickling.
I have a question: why doesn't he get therapy for his fetish? I have not been with anyone who has a fetish before. This is new territory, that is for sure. What do you do if you love someone, but are not even remotely into their fetish?
I think this issue is keeping us from getting intimate very often. When we are being intimate, he no longer tickles me directly, but he often touches me very softly, in a tickling fashion, by barely touching my skin. In the movies, this looks great. For me, it is unpleasant. (I am sorry, I wish I wasn't this way, but I am.) I have asked him to please touch me with a firm touch, which feels good to me. it seems he continues to go back to the soft light touch, which makes me angry inside. I don't want to say anything, because I don't want to hurt feelings, cause a fight, etc... I just don't understand why he wouldn't want me to feel good to? I feel I do my best to make him feel good, beyond the tickling thing of course.
I hate this issue that we have. If I had to articulate it, I guess I would say, I just want him to respected the fact that I do not enjoy being tickled, and to try to be more understanding about it. He is a wonderful man, very kind, generous, and loving, etc... and he does have so many great qualities.
This tickling fetish, and his quickness to anger are two flaws that are difficult to deal with. He is not abusive, but he has a short fuse, and it is hard to talk to him about things, because I always am concerned I will irritate, anger, or cause him to disaprove. He has a very strong personality, is not afraid to share his opinions of things, but is not always open to other people's opinions it seems. Even if we don't agree, it should be totally ok for me to express my opinions too.
I think he takes it as an attack against who he is when I don't agree with him. Look, it would be impossible for us to agree on everything, no two people think exactly alike, etc... It's just social dialogue, right? There isn't anything wrong with that.
I completly understand!!!
friends pin me down all the time, they take advantage, i have friends im IL, and they tell me when there here, there gunna tickle torcher me. HELP!! y god, y would you invent such a dumb thing...email me with tickling tips please..! Rosebud143143@hotmail.com
or my AIM> xo1994babii thankies, haha revenge 4 them! =]]
What memories I have about being tickled. I was 11 or 12 years old and my dad would tickle my for such a long time. Nobody would be home, I would be watching tv, and he would come in go to work on my body. He wouldn't stop until I peed my pants. Even then he kept going. Everywhere on my body he touched me. I lasted maybe a half an hour or so, then he would carry me into the bathroom and take a shower with me. I was so exhausted, he had to wash me off. I also heard him tickle my mom at night when they were in bed. He just loves to tickle people. A few weeks ago I came over to their house, and I heard his niece screaming and laughing from him tickling her. She is about the same age I was, I just laughed and walked away.
Let me get this straight, Cody.
You hate your father not because of something he's done in real life, but because of a dream?
Immature and detached from reality much?
you haven't got a clue GIL on what my sister went through. She's being NICE and leaving out a million things that my dad did and said that were wrong, mean, and inappropriate. Back off.
Lindsey,
You know you're Dad crossed boundaries, right? Tickling you when noone's around to the point where you're urinating in your pants is out of line. Taking a shower with his eleven year old daughter is pedophilia. The fact that he does this to his neice is concerning. Please address this issue right now. Please talk to your Mom or someone that you can trust, that will believe you and handle this appropriately. In fact, if he's been able to do this without your Mom "finding out", that probalby means she's in denial and you need to find someone more reliable.
hey, i like to be tickled but i can see where your coming from. when i was 11-15 i had theses weird ass dreames where these ppl would torcher me, i was waking up 3-4 times a night. i relived alot of stress by setting up a body bag and hit it. soon the dreams were not happening as much, then they stoped for good. if you want you can e-mail me at prdted@aol.com
i HATE being tickled. ive nevr liked it since childhood and from strange dreams ive had as well. there was one specifically when i was staying in beaufort, sc. i was about 8 or 9 then. in my dream i was lying on a big table under a light, like i was food or something and a tall dark figured was standing beside me. TALL. then he lifted up a long arm into the air then brought it down on my stomach and tickled me into my ribs. i wont forget it and THEN we have all 3 of my X's who never listened to me when i said, "Dont!! Leave me alone! I dont like being tickled" over and over. i hated being held down and powerless because thats when it got ugly with me. and STILL they wouldnt give up. its not funny at all, tickling.
i HATE being tickled. ive nevr liked it since childhood and from strange dreams ive had as well. there was one specifically when i was staying in beaufort, sc. i was about 8 or 9 then. in my dream i was lying on a big table under a light, like i was food or something and a tall dark figured was standing beside me. TALL. then he lifted up a long arm into the air then brought it down on my stomach and tickled me into my ribs. i wont forget it and THEN we have all 3 of my X's who never listened to me when i said, "Dont!! Leave me alone! I dont like being tickled" over and over. i hated being held down and powerless because thats when it got ugly with me. and STILL they wouldnt give up. its not funny at all, tickling.
I have had the SAME dream all my life.. Since I was about 6, and I still have them. I'm 14 now, and I can't stand tickling at all. It's not freakin' funny. >> And when i'm being tickled in the dream, it's always by someone REALLY messed up and scary.
I had a dream where my grade 5 teacher was holding a "baby" that was like wrapped up in cloth. She would turn to me and say "I have a little friend for you".. And then I would look into the cloth and see this horrifying twisted lizard, and it looked like it was made of melting wax.. It was so disturbing because it had the VOICE of a baby and everything. It messed me up. And then it tickled me..
DAMN TICKLING!
I TOTALLY understand. i mean, it helps you out of a mad mood but it is just not funny. i don't see why people laph when they tickle you because it is not funny AT ALL! when people tickle me, i will scream and kick untill they stop. i could scream the house down if you tickle me long anoff!IT IS TORCHER! i was tickled for so long when i was 15 on the street by my friends and they did not stop for 2 HOURS. it was scary and i never talked to them until they said they were sorry. i totally agree with you. though, if you get tickled for long anoff and every day, then your not ticklish andy more! how wierd is that. well, that is what i was told.
v5dktK
v5dktK
I stumbled upon this post as I googled "tickling+anger". I hate being tickled too. About an hour ago my sister tickled me unexpectedly - I turned around and raised my closed fist at her...
I feel terrible. But still I don't know what bothers me so much about being tickled. I've hated it since I was a kid - I'll be 28 next april. Turns out I've been pulling some hairs as well, and as a result my hairline has 'receded' about 0.5 cm. Currently making a conscious effort not to pull my hair anymore...
I COMPLETELY understand. I HATE being tickled. It is not fun, it is not funny, it doesn't feel good in ANY sense of the word, it is not a game. Tickling in TORTURE and it makes me want to scream. When my husband does it, he thinks he's being funny and I tell him "Don't do that!" and he just laughs as says "Why?" DUH! How many times DO i have to say that I hate it? AGH!
Your dream sounds SO scary. I would be freaked out too.
your sis
P.S. do you even HAVE any plates left? Or do I need to buy you new ones for Christmas?